Trying to let go

Ive been on celexa for depression since November. While the meds have helped a little, i of course have still had other issues. one being tht on feb 12 i ended a relationship tht i had dealing with off an on for 2 years. now i have been thru many breakups but this time i feel like i just cant do it. i still cry an long for him. there are times wen i wake up an just lay staring across the bed imagining im looking into his eyes. he wasnt for me an i know we could've never continued on together but i just cant let go....i just dnt understand why

Hi dear Kitty ~ I'm so sorry this breakup is so hard for you. Some are really hard to let go.

I know you said you've been on Celexa since November -- perhaps you need an increase in dosage. Sometimes after we've been on a medication for awhile, we find that the current dosage just isn't enough. That has happened to me before. In fact, I may be going thru it right now -- I'm not sure, so I'm going to wait just a little while. But talk to your doctor about it. Perhaps he can increase it for you.

As for the breakup, please don't isolate. It's best to get OUT -- out of the house, and among people. Even if you just take walks, or window shop. Go to the Library, of volunteer at a Senior Center. But DO something. If we get out of ourselves and into others, it REALLY makes a huge difference.

And please don't say you 'can't do it' because you CAN. It's when you feel the WORST that you need it the MOST. Once you do get out, you'll be amazed at how quickly your mood BEGINS to change. Yes, it takes strength to get going, but you HAVE that strength -- you've just buried it. Pull it out, and use it, my friend. Please. I have been where you are, and I have had to do the exact same thing. I was basically ORDERED to do it. LOL

I pray you begin to feel better. I'm on your side -- I know how you feel. God bless and please take care! Big hugs, Lee

Wow! Iam goin thru the same stuff rite now hun.except he kicked me out of our apt only to move my best friend in i should say ex best friend. And they see nothing wrong w this. An I the crazy one??? IDK any more.I am trying to deal w this the best i can but its sooooo hard!I have bee crying for days. I have been betrayed by 2 people that i thought loved and cared for me in turn they dont they love each other WTH!!!!

Hey! I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.

I was with someone for a year and a half, we broke up pretty much every other week during this time, and even though I loved him (or at least thought I did) I wasn't happy at all!

After we broke up, I was devastated, but it felt like routine to me and it took me longer to get over him because I was always expecting us to get back together. I know you said that you guys broke up several times too so maybe this is the case for you as well?

You also have to remember that you were with him for a long time so, naturally, you will feel vulnerable now he has gone. You have to remember that he wasn't right for you and that there is someone out there who will make you happy!

Make yourself busy, go out with friends, sign up for some classes and try and meet new people, not necessarily for a relationship until you are over the last one though .

You CAN get through this and you will! This will pass and this time next year you'll have forgotten all about it ..

I hope this helps a little!

I agree w/ Leed, a increase is needed. If things are not better after the increase another med is in order. Celexa did not work for me. You can also look into therapy or a support group.

hi lee good advice,ive been goin out tryin to do things to get over this helps a little but still pretty sad alot of the times.i wrote pro and con list of the relationship.only7. pros and 4 PAGES of cons!!!also wrote them both goodbye letters the ex and the ex best friend.like i said helped a little.hoping i feel better soon.was treated like sht for years idk why i miss him so much???oh well have a good one.

It's only natural that you miss the person. Time will heal the hurt but in the meantime I suggest maybe an increase in your med dose, to take the edge off. Volunteer or get a part time job? Just be with people, any family support? We all go through the fellings of loneliness after breaking up with someone, but we can learn to learn from the situation, even though it hurts. There is someone out there maybe you haven't met them yet!!!!

After break up i think we all might feeling this way, except maybe for some people who already out of the relation ship even before the official break up
And theres so many what if's after break up too but if theres no way for you two to be together maybe this the best way so you both wont hold each other happiness, i meant after this break up you both chance to find someone to be happy with will be higher, hope this will pass soon ...

It doesn't hurt to talk to your doctor about an increase in the medication, and about other things they might suggest to get you through this difficult time. Do you have someone to talk to right now (ie a counselor)? Someone who is supportive and impartial and can help you process?

My last relationship (ended up being 6 1/2 years) I vowed that if it ended I would never be with anyone again. Well, it ended. And I was broken. We tried being friends for a year and finally broke it off for good. We continued trying to be friends but eventually I broke it off for good. I had to walk away and put him behind me.

Now I'm with someone else and she's amazing. We're engaged. I took a four year break in between the two of them and it was exactly what I needed. I'm not saying your situation is anything like mine, or that you need a four year break. I'm just saying (as you may already know) that over time you will feel better about it, and it's okay if you don't right now.