[Diversion]

Ok I have hit the angry stage of dealing with my upcoming divorce apparently. Husband called me yesterday and we wound up fighting. I tried to stay calm but he kept saying things that were just completely false. It occurred to me that he wasn't even hearing what he was saying. omg...

I ended the conversation before it got to yelling status but was so frustrated I had to send an email. I stated that what he said was completely wrong and not based in fact. I went down the list of things he said I never did and stated that, yes, I did do them.

That conversation got to me. I realized my heart was racing for the first time in weeks and that wasn't a good thing. He then replied back and said that the divorce was a good idea and he didn't want to have any contact with me except the divorce stuff. Ugh, I never tried to have any other contact with him! He's the one that was calling me late at night and crying and telling me how much he missed me.

Now I just wish I had never met him. I wish a hurricane would sweep him away. I wish he would get in a wreck in the car he so boldly drove away from me in. I wish all the friends and family that seem to think this is all my fault would just abandon him and leave him to think of what he's done.

I have tried to purge any memory of him from my life. If any item in the house was even half his I want it gone. No more! No more of him getting a say or being able to manipulate what I'm feeling.

I will never, ever let anyone get that close again. I am just as mad at myself for allowing myself to be so vulnerable and naive. What a fool I was.

[Diversion]

Phil says it better than i do.

[Thunder Bow]

Caution: Don't take the Hooks he presents to you. If you do, you are playing his game. Just give the hook back to him with out saying a word. Don't present him with any Hooks of your own.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. You're feeling right now, the way I felt when I got divorced. My ex said some mighty hateful things that were ALL LIES, and he even got my family to believe them! I couldn't believe it! My own family! And they hadn't even heard MY SIDE of the story before they actually took his side!

The same with my friends -- not HIS friends, but my school friends!! They ALL DUMPED ME because of him. I never got a chance to talk to them because of his lies! I can't believe he did this. He was always vindictive to a point, but he really went over the line this time.

I had all sorts of terrible thoughts after that. Just hateful, awful thoughts. But after I calmed down, I realized that I was lowering myself to HIS level. And I never wanted to do that!! By doing that, he was winning! I couldn't let him win.

So I took my power back! By taking my power back, he COULDN'T WIN. And not only that, but I retained my dignity and self-esteem. He couldn't hurt me anymore, like he'd hurt me the entire marriage.

Don't let YOUR husband win. Take YOUR power back! I wish you the very best my friend. And God bless you. Hugs, Lee

[Neptune83]

Gosh what a horrible time you're going through. Completely agree with what the others have said, don't take the bait and don't let him have that hold over you. If all he has are pathetic lies and stupid things to say to wind you up, then his life must be pretty boring and sad. I would pity him, he's clearly lost someone who's far too good for him

[sprik]

my divorce was horrbile to, and then came the custody battle, and 4 years later we r still fighting over everythign about the kids, so im still miserable, but i jsut hit rock bottom last month real hard, and I said to my self, he cant control anymore, his lies cant affect me, he cant hurt me anymore, were done, I need to be happy. Walk away, ignore him,dont fight with him, dont listen to his crap, find new friends, ignore new completely, let him know he cant get to u, even if he is. its hard at first then it gets easy. give it a couple days before say it doesnt work, but if u give it your all, i bet it will. good luck

[Heather11]

I was in a similar situation. I agree not to take the bait. My ex would try to verbally berate me in front of my son. I ignores him and well thank goodness for text and email because that s how we communicated even while living in the same house! Find a way to detach yourself nd find happiness to keep you going so you're not all wrapped up in him and negative thoughts.
All the best!! Hang in there