[CherryBerry9339]

Hey, so lately I've been feeling really weird. I feel like I want to hurt people around me who have done absolutely nothing wrong; some of whom i think are people I actually care to asociate with. Sometimes I can go from being in an okay mood to in tears a few seconds later. Then after a few minutes I feel happy then slightly confused, sad and angry. One time I was feeling happy, and sad at the same time and I had a huge smile on my face for no reason. I looked in the mirror to check it out (thinking it would be funny) and to me my smile looked really freaky, almost psychotic. Sometimes I feel like there is something really wrong with me. There's been a few times where in all honesty I thought I saw a plant move with legs(roots). Sometimes there's voices but I can't tell if it's something else or not.
Any thoughts? But please don't say talk to your doctor, talk to your doctor. Because I can't; the town I live in is really small and everyone knows everyone's buisness. So if there really is something I don't want a lot of people finding out, especially people at my school. + I'm terrified of doctors. + It's hard with my mum.

[BonnieG2010]

You should decide who you care most for: yourself or 'others'?
If you care for yourself a forum cannot really help you out, you must look for help near you.
If the most important people in your life are 'others' .... than stick to what they say.

Remember that a 'doctor' should not spread word of what you want with him / her.

[Kate King]

Cherryberry- I think the first step is reaching out for help, which is what you are doing here, so that is something to be proud of. Secondly, self-awareness is extremely important which is seems like you are able to do as well. The more aware you are of what is going on, the better able you will be to get help, whatever that looks like for you. I hear you about living in a small town, so I will not tell you to talk to your doctor, although this can help significantly. All it might take is a little medicine or a change in medicine. With that said though, if you truly feel like you cannot talk to anyone, there is plenty of help that you can get online, on PC in particular, to help you identify and change what is going on. I would encourage you to play close attention to what you feel, when you feel it, and what might be the root cause of it. Harmful thoughts can often times be an effect of underlying feelings. Keep reaching out on PC- it is a great place to start. ((hugs))

[Thunder Bow]

This reminds me of a scene out of an old comedy movie where 2 actors pretending to be "doctors", saying doctor-doctor-doctor to each other.

Do not be so critical of yourself. Accept your feelings, no matter how "nutty" they may seem. Avoid self judgement. The walking plants and almost voices will fade if you accept yourself. Don't worry so much about your mother, she will do just fine, even if you are seeing a "Doctor". As you heal from therapy, you will make life easier in the long run for your mother!