Saying goodbye to my T

This is my first post on this site and I am so thankful for a place to open up and feel safe. Thank you all for being here! This morning I said goodbye to my T. It was emotionally raw and intense but at the same time it was a healing conversation. He kept tearing up in the session and I just cried alot. I was not used to seeing him tear up. I knew last week that I would be saying goodbye to him in today's session, so I began grieving for him. By the time this morning's appointment got here it wasn't quite as intense as it would have been. Since last week I have been allowing myself to cry and feel emotions and the rawness of the pain and the reality.

I wrote him a goodbye letter and decided to read it to him in our last session. I wasn't sure I could make it through. But I did! It was very personal and I thanked him for so much and for helping me to change. I also thanked him for making a difference in my life. I looked up a couple of times and saw that he was tearing up. At the end when I finished the letter and handed it to him his eyes were totally red and teary. That was a really strange but beautiful experience.

I wanted to hug him but we didn't. My heart is so full and thankful for him. At the same time I will miss him too.

Just wanted to reach out to others on this site. I have found that the more I surround myself with people and ask for support and not isolate that I feel healthy and can make it through this grieving process one more moment.

I have read a couple of other posts on this site and I was really encouraged by the positive support and encouragement. I am hoping to feel the same support here and be a support to others as well.

Thanks for reading this.

Hello ~ I'm glad you found us! So you've "graduated!" Congratulations! It's a great feeling, isn't it? Finally feeling "well" and able to contribute! That's a great feeling!

I'm sure you'll be a great asset to Psych Central, and we welcome you! And I hope we hear more from you.

Don't hesitate to post -- everyone here is friendly and supportive! So take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

Wow... that's something I've been thinking about more and more. I'm still booked into July and don't know that it will end there... but I'm on a good track right now, generally speaking, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time, so whereas months ago I felt like I would be in therapy for life, at this point, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. From what you described though, your ability to handle it, to allow yourself to grieve it and say goodbye and be ok with feeling the sadness... the thought of that still makes me shudder and want to turn away from it... which suggests I still have some work to do Lol.
Congrats to you though, for getting to this point ! Must feel good!!