putting a trigger icon on this just in case...


i can't bring myself to accept that my parents didn't raise me to be psychologically stable. i know that i'm unstable, but i just prefer thinking it's all me, that it's just something i was born with, not the way i was raised...

but anyone who really knows my family, swears it's them and not me. i still refuse to believe them, though, because they could just be lying to me and saying that so i won't get upset.

i don't know why i can't just forget everything and move on. i don't want to think about anything anymore.

and now i just found out that, apparently, i'm supposed to hate myself. that's just how everyone from my home town was raised. either hate yourself and everyone else because you don't have it good enough to like yourself, or try to like yourself and be considered a snob. try to better yourself, and you're suddenly acting like you're better than everyone else.

i ****ing hate my hometown and everyone in it. so ready to get away from everyone i ever knew.

[Thunder Bow]

Our culture imprints on us self hate. It is because we are subservient to rich families (we work). You hear the comment: "Shut up and just do you job" or "your not being paid to think. Individual indentity is strongly disscourged. So alot of what you suffer from is cultural imprinting.

Liking your self does not mean you are better than others. Self worth and pride is not conceat. Improving yourself makes you wise, but any better than others. As you heal you will find yourself stronger than some others and wiser. But you can be a teacher and healer, rather than a snob!