[julie234332]

My friend just had a court case today and unfortunately he is going to jail for 4 years on a plea bargain. He did something stupid a year ago, but i know he is a good person and a loyal friend. He called me tonight crying, and I did not know what to say. He said he was debating on killing himself. I told him he must text me tomorrow morning when he wakes up. I am sure he won't kill himself, but I am still so upset and feel so bad about the situation. Any ideas of what I can say to him to make him feel better, and how to take my mind off the situation? Thanks.

[Travelinglady]

Well, I know being incarcerated isn't great, but four years is manageable. Can you assure him you will keep in touch and visit if possible? And maybe where he will be will have some benefits, such as classes.....

Obviously you can't change waht happened, so try to get on with things in the meantime.

[julie234332]

my friend, who seems normal and happy in general, is going to prison and has to serve 4 years. he was on the phone with me and said he wanted to kill himself and i told him not to. i am scared he eventually will before he is sent to prison. is this normal?

also, i am disgusted by his crime so i do not even want to be friends with him anymore. now i feel things are awkward between us because of this whole prison scandal. i am scared that if i end our friendship, he will kill himself.

[julie234332]

his crime was attempted rape of a minor, but the minor was willing.

[julie234332]

he was set up by an online detective.

[Inedible]

Originally Posted by julie234332

his crime was attempted rape of a minor, but the minor was willing.

Do you expect that she (the minor) would feel bad if she found out that he killed himself to avoid prison? Let's call it a given that it is all on him, but she is still involved as part of the picture. It would be difficult to be perfectly objective.

So he needs to store his belongings and make arrangements to go away. And maybe some quick lessons on self-defense.

Sorry but having just gone through a court case myself, I would call the police and tell them what he told you but I bet he is doing it out of sympathy as he is going to be serving time (rightly so too) and also how do you know that the minor was willing?

[Delorio]

Originally Posted by julie234332

my friend, who seems normal and happy in general, is going to prison and has to serve 4 years. he was on the phone with me and said he wanted to kill himself and i told him not to. i am scared he eventually will before he is sent to prison. is this normal?

also, i am disgusted by his crime so i do not even want to be friends with him anymore. now i feel things are awkward between us because of this whole prison scandal. i am scared that if i end our friendship, he will kill himself.

this is a very difficult time for you-your pal has to face the severity of what he has done; but before he done this he was someone you enjoyed spending time with-now that has to change but that does not mean you cant still offer him support; although you must of course, make this desicion for yourself, and if he chooses to take his own life then you cannot expect to feel guilty for this, although I really believe he wont; there are no rights or wrongs in this for you; think carefully; take some time out and consider carefully. I hope it works out for you x take care sweetie

This topic is quite triggering to me, so I will try to be a kind and supportive as I can.

I am curious as to why your friend is not in prison now. What he did not only violated state statutes but Federal, as well. Why would the court sentence a dangerous felon and allow him to walk the atreets, while waiting to serve his sentence?

I realize you are disgusted by his behavior. However, just to be clear, there is no such thing as a "minor" willingly (giving consent) to an adult for sex. EVER.

Your friend was NOT set up by law enforcement. Once your friend knew the age of the person online, he should have said "no way." And turned off the computer. On a kinder note, yes, we all make mistakes and do stupid things, but this type of situation is really a no brainer.

I am sorry your "friend" is going to prison but he should have known better. He is a grown man.

He has a very good reason to be terrified about going to prison for this crime.

If you feel he is serious about his intentions to hurt himself, drop a dime on him.

Originally Posted by julie234332

his crime was attempted rape of a minor, but the minor was willing.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by julie234332

he was set up by an online detective.

How do you know he was really set up? Because he told you? Did you actually witness him being set up? "I was set up" and "She was willing" or two of the most used cop-outs predators use.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by julie234332

his crime was attempted rape of a minor, but the minor was willing.

Yeah, inmates aren't too kind to those who do things to minors, nor are they kind to those that are wife beaters either.

Calling the authorities, if you are looking to help, would get him under suicide watch, and almost like being a solitary. Away from the general population.

I lost a niece to her husband, who did this(murdered her) in front of his kids while they were saying, daddy, daddy stop, don't....and his pregnant SIL and her young kids.

I hear, that everytime he gets into general...there's a beat down. This man, is spending most of his time in solitary confinement.

And word has it....if um, someone has the chance to do more damage they will...just sayin'

SO he's scared of being that 'guy' in general population??