Really struggling can i please have a hug ?

Hi ,so I haven't posted on the forums in a while.

so right now I am really struggling with my emotions and to keep my thoughts in control ,I feel a little unsafe but I think I am just about able to handle that at the moment.Alot is going on inside my head at the minute,voices are becoming hard to control,im seeing things that are starting to scare me and I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me.I am not on any medication because in the past I have been on Risperidone and it didn't work ,so now my mental health worker thinks that medication is a no go .Anyway ,I don't know how I am supposed to cope ? when my mental health worker isn't listening to me and I don't have anyone else for support.A part of me just wants life to be over and done with there is a tiny part of me that wants to keep doing,what am I supposed to do if that tiny part gets taken over by the big part of me that actually does want to die ?Im a reck right now ,all I can think about is hurting myself and taking serious risks and not thinking about the consequences .My suicidal thoughts are becoming worse but I think right now I am just about able to manage them :/ I think?Sometimes when I am walking down the road I would wish for a car or something to hit me ,sometimes I think about walking in-frount of the traffic ...Right now my emotions and thoughts are everywhere and I don't know what to do

why is your mental health worker not able to listen to you? if he is no help you need to get in touch with another specialist now. is someone with you right now? ask someone to get you to a qualified professional. you shouldn't be dealing with these feelings on your own. im sorry you are going through this

no one is here with me right now and my thoughts are everywhere ,my mental health worker just doesn't listen to how I feel

Hang in there and ride the wave of emotions. Take a few deep breaths and try to slow down the thoughts and get in touch with a therapist asap. It's easy for thoughts, especially negative thoughts to spiral out of control. If you feel that your therapist doesn't listen go to another one. I know often when I spin out of control emotionally I feel exactly as you do - that no one is there and that I am alone. At these times I so desperately want to talk with someone and receive comforting words but no one is ever there. It's a horrible feeling so I can sympathize. I seriously would try and find some other support that is more available and connected with you if you are able to. Please take care and remember that there are a lot of people here on PC that do care about your feelings.

No one would care if I died ,no one wants me around anyway ,everything is a mess and things/people are making me want to die even more ,I feel like im sufforcating in my emotions and thoughts I cant handle it everything is too much really want to do something to myself that im not going to be able to take back

I'm sorry it feels like nobody would care. For what it's worth, I care and I'm sad to think that you are feeling so sad. Is there any way you could speak to someone else? Could you write things down for the current MH worker?

I am sorry that you are feeling so down that you feel that your life is not worth living and that no one really cares. You need to try and stop having such negative thoughts. I know that is easier said than done but you need to try and ride all these bad feelings like a wave. In the meantime please go and speak with someone about your problems who can offer you some advice and support. I have felt very low at times and I know what you mean by feeling suffocated by your emotions. Keep communicating on here about how you feel and you will see that there are people who do care. I care. Being able to chat to people like us will help but you really, really need to go and seek help instead of suffering with your emotions as you are. Take care

I had an appointment with my mental health worker today and I told her how I felt and she ignored it and started talking about something else ,I guess it just shows that she doesn't actually care about me doesn't it ,I don't have anyone in real life to talk to ,everything feels too hard to cope with.i just cant stop crying right now.

No mental health worker in their right mind would ignore how you feel without offering advice. Is there any chance of going to see someone else? There is nothing wrong with having a good cry so go ahead and cry as it may help make you feel a bit better. You can always offload here on PC anytime you want because there is a wonderful supportive community here. See if you can get to see another therapist if you can.

I am trying so hard to not give into my suicidal thoughts right now but its getting really hard I don't think I can cope ,just keep crying and crying ive tied a scarf and I want to hang myself

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way, Girl-Interrupted. I am sending you hugs.
Can you call a suicide hotline to talk to someone?

Girl-Interrupted, I know I'm just a random person on the internet but I just cried when I read your latest posts. I cried because I know what it's like to feel that bleak and I'm really sad to think that you're so sad.

Please ring the Samaritans on 116123. It's free from any phone.

I've read some of your other posts in the past and I remember you talking about how your parents aren't listening to the fact that you're depressed, they're not taking you seriously and they don't understand. I want to tell you something I wish I could tell my younger self, because she was all alone, just like you. My parents didn't listen either, they ignored me SI-ing and they went home and left me in hospital alone when I took an OD, and they never once gave me what I needed. It hurt, and it still hurts.

But you know what? It gets better. Even though it doesn't feel like it now, it will get better. Because you will get older, and braver, and you will have more control over your life. I remember how I felt when I was in that place where you are. I still go there sometimes. I wish I had reached out for help more, I wish I hadn't been alone with it. The fact you're seeing a mental health worker suggests you might have been to your GP - could you go back again? There's a whole bunch of numbers here as well: Depression UK - links to helpful websites and information.

It can get better, even if it doesn't feel like it now. You have every right to feel this way, but I hope you can hold on, because it won't be like this forever.

I am sorry that I made you cry Tinyrabbit I didn't mean for that to happen,i don't find talking to my GP helps because none of the mental health services or my doctors are helping it all just seems like a waste of space

I don't know how I feel right now but what I do no is that I want to hurt myself

Oh sweetheart, I don't want you to apologise! I wanted you to know that someone felt your pain and cared about it, that you matter in this world.

Please think about ringing Samaritans. 116123.

Im sorry you are having a hard time right now.

This thread is for you. You say your emotions are everywhere and you cant deal with it all, why not begin by using this thread as a release from them all. sort them out one by one - you feel anger, tell us what is causing the anger. once you have got that out, if your feeling betrayed etc, tell us why.

One step at a time and lets figure all of this out together. We are here for you xx

Sorry I have not replied in a little while I have been in the hospital for the past couple of days after taking a overdose and im still not feeling any better

Hey, I know its hard but you need to seek professional help either from a new Counselor/therapist or hospital. Try to do some meditation to calm your mind.