I can't handle this anymore...

Nearly all of my friends have either killed themselves, been killed, or refuse to talk to me. I'm drifting further and further from everyone and no matter what I do I can't get back. When I told a guy that everyone I care about is dead, he said "Just get new friends." I can't get new friends. You can't replace friends. I have this friendship necklace, while the other half has been dead for years. People tell me to get rid of it. I can't just get rid of it. Everyone is changing, they're meaner, they're scary, they're different. Everyone who doesn't hate me hates themselves. I'm scared for everyone in our little "group" in school, because we've all forgotten what it means to just smile. We don't know what life means anymore because everything is gone. I can't cope with this and I don't want to cope with it. Sometimes I wish I'd killed myself back when I had the guts to do it. Now I just don't know anymore...

Do you have a therapist? Sounds like you are grieving and may need help in processing that grief. I'm sorry you have lost so many you care about. It's not easy to move on. Please keep emegency numbers near your phone. Glad you are posting on PC for support.
gayle

I can't imagine what you must be going through - it sounds like you're suffering some terrible sadness which isn't helped by stupid comments from people who don't know what they're talking about.

You are grieving and I am so sorry for your losses. Of course, you cannot just "replace" the loss of loved ones with "new ones" - I totally get that and can see how bizarre that suggestion is. I'm no stranger to death of loved ones and I empathize with you. It gets better with time and while they are gone, memories remain. There will be new experiences, new times, new people - different things. Nothing to replace what was lost ... but positive experiences and people in our lives can "happen" after terrible losses. I wish you well. x

I'd like to get a therapist, but I haven't got any money... Thanks for that.

I suppose I'll just have to figure it out, then. Thank you.

HI, it sounds like you are having a rough time recently. I hope you are having some better times occasionally.
I don't think you should get rid of the friendship necklace. It is important to you, just as the person was and is. Why not make a special place to keep it? This is a way for you to honour that person, without having to keep it on you, allowing yourself some space.
By taking that space, when you come back to the necklace by taking it out of the place, to hold for a while, you will be able to honour the person more deeply by focussing on them for a time.

Thanks... I don't know if I could take it off. But I'll try that.

You can make the place now, and only take the necklace off when you are ready. No need to rush or push it.