[Tsunamisurfer]

Background: Its been half a century, and I'm still going through my "teenage" identity crisis. I have bipolar 1, and cycle several times a week - sometimes holding on by threads, despite the meds.


I fluctuate between outgoing self confidence and crushing depression, which gets some pretty confused feedback from other people. I wonder whether the voices and senses of visions and having the company of invisible "companions" is a spiritual thing, just my crazy brain circuitry, under the influence of some kind of suggestive hypnosis, or whether I'm just confused altogether. No meds change these experiences.

So emotionally, I am a mess. Excited, determined, full of hope, then crashing into immobilising exhaustion and hopelessness, tormented by doubts about my real abilities.

Does anyone else experience mood states having such a confusing effect on their identity?

[layla11]

Hi, yeah I go through this. It does get confusing and sometimes you just need a friend to talk to. Somebody to tell you that most people go through this and your okay. I am also Bipolar I and I think my feeling are more amplified, but what your talking about sounds like what a lot of people go through.

[anneo59]

Yes, ma'am, can relate. But I do find that some physical activity of some sort, even if limited and some type of brief enjoyed pasttime, whether its contacting a friend, pettng a dog, reading, doing something creative, helping, music, whatever, if done as regularly as possible, can be most helpful, if not always! I try to focus on the wellness part of me, not just the BP, the other stuff, and the negatives, while still being realistic and not a Pollyanna. Doesn't always help, but often does. I wish you the best, and feel free to write more or PM. The best!