[uncertainlag]

so, my story is a complicated one, and my emotions are at fault. and i would like to explain the story to get it off my chest.

i was young, i am not going to put an age so no one knows any specifics.

i was dating this girl, and i loved her. we had a good relationship. me and a few of my friends went out to the bar and we were drinking. and i got roped into threesome with one of my friends. cheating on my current girlfriend. then after all of it, on the way home, he starts coming at me with why did you do it. and all sorts of other stuff. "dont you love ******" and i was still confused from the alchohol.
i broke down and cried and confessed my love for her. his suggestion is that he would keep it secret as long as i did the right thing. and marriage was brought up. being emotionally distraught i agree and go buy a ring. inside i was thinking about the other girl. But i was like i have to make this right. and i went on to marry her. seeing the girl a year after my wedding, i realize that my feelings were stronger for her then my wife. and i fell in love with her (im leaving things out, lets just say the other girl was constantly on my mind) as far as i knew i loved my wife.
a few months later it happened again and i see her. my heart flutters.

Now i love and loved my wife. and i avoided this girl as much as i could. stopped going to the places where she was, and skipping hanging out with my friends when she was around.

my wife was pregnant, and i was happy. a few days before the birth i had a party. (celebration party) and i had my friends over. then she strolled through the door.

and from that point on, this story gets bad.

i cheated again. now alchohol was involved. but this is not the end.

from that point on my world was torn.

i loved my wife, and this other girl. and no i dont mean lust.

i truely loved both of them and i had no idea how to stop. i tried avoiding her, and on purposly finding things other to do. but she was always there. and it wasnt a malicious thing.

so now im distraught and confused.
I didnt think it was possible to love two completely different people the same way. to love the scent of them. to feel their touch was a heavenly feeling.

I know you people are going to call me an asshole, and other things. and the women are going to go nuts over this. But i dont know what to do.

and i have thought of everything.

1. Just ignore her and tell her you can't be friends with her because you have a family, and your love for her is going to ruin that!
Answer: have you ever tried to tell that to someone you really love? have you felt the sadness that comes with telling the one you love that?

theres more, but it hurts me to just post this. im afraid

[Thunder Bow]

Call the crisis line, seek therapy ASAP.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation. I'm a female and not going to come down hard on you. Yes, you were wrong for cheating. The answer is yes to your question of can you love two people at the same time. I've been there. But you can't have both without somebody getting hurt. I'm mostly concerned with your child, who has been put in the middle of this mess without asking to be. You have to make a choice, it is not fair not to. Does your wife know about the affair? If not, are you going to tell her? She may make the choice for you. And yes, I have had to tell someone I loved that I had to give him up because my family. I know it is a hard thing to do, this is making you sick. You need to step up do the right thing and only you know what is right for you. But your wife deserves better, so either leave her or give up the other woman.

[uncertainlag]

i dont want to sound rude. but it seems you have obviously just scanned my post, and posted yourself. thank you for taking time to read. but there is no "affair" no relationship between me and the other girl.

its more like we really have the same interests. so when i go to do something that is going to be popular in my area she is there because it interest her too. we have dozen of mutaul friends. i have avoided her. I thought i made my choice.

and to be honest i really dont want to tell my wife, for more than one reason. It was her best guy friend that took me out, instigated the threesome, and he is also the one that berated me about doing it after the fact.

If i tell her that she will lose faith in the two people that matter to her. and i thought since he is ignoring the whole thing, that maybe i can and like i said avoid the girl.

now im not saying im not at fault i know it is all my fault and i have come to terms with that. and i have accepted the outcome that i may destroy myself trying to figure out what i need and what i want. as i said above i avoided her and stopped going over to some frineds house because she is over there constantly. i have tried to do the right thing.

my insides feel as if i have thrown them into a blender and hit liquify. i am staying by my wife, and thats not quite the advice i was looking for.

i need advice on how to go about stopping the love. i have done a pros and cons list. (shredded after i was done) and i have thought long and hard about how this is bad for me. and for a week or two at a time i am fine. and then i see her once. and i am overjoyed and distraught at the same time. and if i do what i think is necisary (sp?) then i am going to lose ALL of my friends just not some.

and its not their fault so why should they have to lose a friend over this? this is where i am at.

Do your worst...
UL