Okay, I'm having a little issue here. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever felt like this before. Of course, I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and am discovering new things about myself.

I'm asking for help and advice from you. I don't know how to handle this. But when I read posts on the forums, I can actually sense the pain of the writer. It hurts me just like I was experiencing the problem myself. I don't know why this is happening to me. I wish it wouldn't, but I don't know how to make it stop.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[unaluna]

Omg check your shorts I think your turning into a woman!

Obviously this is why I have gender issues...

[winter4me]

Empathy. You have it, and, yes, sometimes it hurts a great deal...especially since it means sitting with emotions/experiences we cannot alter. I know I'd rather give than ask for help...and I know that is a problem at times in my life...I do find here I am especially pained by the suffering of young people...I want it to be better for them. I don't have an answer...like you said, you are learning about yourself...as we all are who continue to come here...

[eskielover]

Some people are more empathetic than others.....don't know if you are so much empathetic IRL as you are here....but then a lot of times IRL people don't open up like they do here.

Best way to handle this if it's bothering you in a negative way is to limit your time here at PC....& limit your time reading the posts that you feel the high amount of pain with.

I also understand feeling the pain that others are going through but I also know that I am limited in the amount of help that I can be to them & have to focus on my logical mind.......& not focus my thinking on the bad things they are going through while acknowledging & validating that I understand how they feel.

I don't have any magic way of feeling less empathy for people....it's definitely personal.....but basically when we have done & suggested all we can to provide what ever help we are capable of....then we have to step back & accept that it is what it is with them until things are able to change in their life just as we have to do in our own.....it's a very difficult feeling because sometimes we can end up feeling even more hurt than they do if we are not careful.

Feelings are good.....caring is good....but we also have to make sure we do care for ourselves while allowing a healthy amount of feelings to be experienced for others.

[~Christina]

Jeffro

Sometimes you just have to pick and choose the threads and take a break from PC if need be... I have had to take a big step back from here a few times .

[FaithlessCat]

I too am very empathic and I describe it as both a blessing and a curse, it can be very hard to deal with, especially face to face . I havent found an answer to coping with it myself yet, and often wonder if it isn't part of my mental health issues .

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. Faithless I'm like you I don't know if it's a blessing our a curse. I guess this is something I have learn to deal with.

Sent from my C5170 using Tapatalk

[Silent_Efforts]

Hi Jeffro...

I had come across these two links some time... thought I'd post them here, may help you...

Is Overactive Empathy Ruining Your Life?

How to Turn off Overactive Empathy


Silent_Efforts

Originally Posted by Silent_Efforts

Hi Jeffro...

I had come across these two links some time... thought I'd post them here, may help you...

Is Overactive Empathy Ruining Your Life?

How to Turn off Overactive Empathy


Silent_Efforts

Thanks Silent! I just got finished reading those articles. They were pretty interesting in that I could relate to having my empathy always turned on. I always "feel" when someone is having a bad day. I don't even have to know them, i.e. cashier at Walmart. I need to learn how to turn it off.

Maybe that's why I like making people smile so much.

[Gus1234U]

it's my personal belief that feeling emotional pain is a result of resisting change. it's a guide to our 'stiff' spots. empathy comes from having felt that pain oneself, and still feeling it, even if only through others. at some point, acceptance allows empathy to change into Compassion.

Compassion allows suffering to be OK, because it is leading us toward becoming a better person. some of us are much harder to lead than others, we cling to our pain as tho it was a life raft, when it is actually the waves. when we have Compassion, for another or even for ourselves, we may go thru difficulties, hard times, and even experience loss; but we don't anoint that with emotional suffering. Compassion says: "i feel you suffer, i have felt that myself, it is the universal teacher showing us the way to a better way."

of course this presupposes that one has found the way thru suffering oneself. and let me be clear, this is not often a revelation, in which, all in one day, suffering stops... it is like any other change, it must be practiced and practiced, at every opportunity, even while suffering, Especially while suffering ~!

i, too, find it too difficult sometimes to read what has happened to others, esp. if i have unresolved issues with something similar. but even so, i am determined to allow people to experience their pain with out my pity, or solicitude, or even empathy. i want them to know that pain may be unavoidable in this world, but suffering is optional.

i hope i have expressed myself with sufficient 'Compassion' to be perceived as caring, and not merely cold-hearted. as it is with a good parent, who allows a child to learn painful lessons in order to understand and grow, this is how i treat myself with Compassion. keep your joy close, but keep your pain closer: it is your best spiritual friend.

best wishes~
Gus

[possum220]

Hiya. Some-one else posted a link onto PC. I read it and it really helped me understand myself a little more.

Try Googling the Highly Sensitive Person by Colleen O'Rourke and you may find you are not alone.

It doesn't not mean you are turning into a woman either. You just need to take a bit more care and decide when is or isn't a good time for you to do things.

http://www.plumturtle.com/PlumTurtle...o_Handbook.pdf

Oops found it. The link was from laserimage.

Thank you Gus. Some I agree with and some I disagree w/. I agree that suffering is optional, and that pain is a given in life. Pain is the touch stone of spiritual growth. At least that's what I believe.

However, I don't believe that empathy comes from "still feeling" the pain. I think it's more of I can feel what the person is going through. I've never been raped, but I can "feel" the pain that my friends that have have gone through.

I also believe that w/o being able to sense what the other person is feeling, is a must to be able to show compassion. How can you be compassionate w/o first "feeling" what the other person feels?

Thank you again Gus, you have given me some things to thing about.

[falling star]

Jeff you have a gift. Use is wisely. You are a blessing to others.

[Ionic]

a strong ability of empathy, however self-protection is important as well.)

[Skanzi]

Not to be selfish, but i always put my own happiness over those of other one's. I personally think i'm actually able to help a lot of other people out. But does it make me happier? To a certain extent, yes. But not if i spend my entire life trying to help others, while forgetting about myself. It sounds egocentric, and it actually is, but you are the only person that matters. And if you'd like to help someone, your only reason in the end is to make yourself feel better (but you can feel better because the other person feels better, don't forget that).