[moodycow]

really dont know what is going on in my head !!! all the horrible thoughts , anxiety and everything has just gone and i feel odd i cant explain kind of empty but really wanting to si or get drunk and that was at 9am !!! not explaining this well just cant really dont like this at all dont understand its like my brain has some sort of warped sense of humour take all the crap away for a bit and chuck in some weirdness , sorry for moaning just confused

[roads]

Not sure, but you sound something like me when my depression seeks a new level. It may be a med change, in which case it ought to settle down in a few days, or it could be something going on in your therapy or at work. I went through a period recently when (after 23 yrs) I was considering taking up cigarettes again.
I took the craving to my AA group and after two months it's pretty much relented.
I think it's like hitting your head on the wall when your head aches. "Displacement" they call it. I get tired, I guess, of the regular messy life so I'll go get drunk and we can deal with that for a while.

Use your skills to stabilize, to ground yourself. Making things worse will only make things worse--no matter how appealing or right it seems at the time.

Roads