In the span of 9 months my pet of 14 years died unexpectedly, my fiancé had an emotional affair, my therapist or years decided to became a personal friend of mine, I moved to another state for work and my childhood home was lost despite me paying into the pot to help keep it - the funds were misappropriated.

I realized only recently that all of things happening in such a short period of time is why after years of no panic attacks I am suddenly experiencing 2-3 every other day. I'm also not able to sleep, weepy, feeling hopeless and not feeling like leaving my apartment. Depression is really bad right now.

Right now I should be working on a work related assignment that is due in two days but I've been in bed all day with one 5 minute break to go grab half a can of soup and an ice cream sandwich from the kitchen. I'm afraid I won't finish my work.

I feel alone even though I could call my former T or fiancé. My mom is emotionally absent, so speaking with her only makes things worse. My new therapist doesn't offer crisis services and the suicide lines shoo me away once they realize I'm not at risk of attempting. Ideation is major right now though.

I don't know how to pick myself up. I'm due to start a week vacation on Friday but I'm not even excited right now.

I don't know how to cope. All the things I lost made up my network. I miss my pet, having a great therapist and fiancé and a home I could be comfortable in. I have no one in this new state.

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[Open Eyes]

(((rouge))),

I am so sorry you had so many major things happen in this last year.

I am sorry about your pet, 14 years old, if it was a dog, that is a ripe old age for a dog. That isn't punishment, nor your fault either. You must have been an excellent caretaker for your pet for it to have a long life like that.

Fiance cheating? Hmmm, sounds like someone had self doubts, that is not your fault either.

It sounds like you are finding out how people can let you down, but that's not your fault either you know. Yes, it is very disappointing.

Ok, I know you are very depressed, but "you need to be there for you" right now. You need to dig deep and get this project done for work, that's you doing for you. You then have a week's vacation and that is when you can sink some, but not too far because you need to find a new therapist.

You have a job and a place to live, you did that, that is "yours" and while I know you are depressed and that's very hard (been there myself), you need to do whatever you need to do "for yourself".

You need to get mad, make a decision that you are not going to allow all this to get you down. As bad as all these things are?, they could really be much worse. You are still young, gamefully employed and you are going to sit down and decide that "you" are going to be a survivor. This is not the same as waking up one day and finding out your husband is a binge alcoholic, cheated on you with two other women and you don't even know if he is seeing someone right now, but you have a child to worry about, that was me, so I know all about "being depressed" and overwhelmed.

This is something you decide to do "the you for you" one day at a time, things "do" have a way of slowly improving, and you are not trapped like I was, you are not stuck in a challenging marriage, sometimes those who find things out before they get all wrapped up in a marriage are the ones that have a better chance of moving forward with less challenge. I am sure you are a good person, you deserve to be there for yourself too, life has a way of throwing some challenges we do not expect, it's not because we are unworthy either, bad things do happen to really good people.

((((Hugs)))))
OE

[Yoda]

[Thunder Bow]

It looks like you left much bad stuff behind! Things that was once famillar to you, are now gone, and you are in a new state!

That why your feeling so depressed. Depression will hit people who are growing and moving away from old stuff, and this is what your are doing. That old bad stuff was like an old friend.

You are in a new state and a new state of mind. New Adventure now awaits you. Have another cup of soup, then do the assignment, then go out and have the Adventure of your life. Don't keep adventure waiting. Remember that you are now, your own Crisis Warrior.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

(((rouge))),

I am so sorry you had so many major things happen in this last year.

I am sorry about your pet, 14 years old, if it was a dog, that is a ripe old age for a dog. That isn't punishment, nor your fault either. You must have been an excellent caretaker for your pet for it to have a long life like that.

Fiance cheating? Hmmm, sounds like someone had self doubts, that is not your fault either.

It sounds like you are finding out how people can let you down, but that's not your fault either you know. Yes, it is very disappointing.

Ok, I know you are very depressed, but "you need to be there for you" right now. You need to dig deep and get this project done for work, that's you doing for you. You then have a week's vacation and that is when you can sink some, but not too far because you need to find a new therapist.

You have a job and a place to live, you did that, that is "yours" and while I know you are depressed and that's very hard (been there myself), you need to do whatever you need to do "for yourself".

You need to get mad, make a decision that you are not going to allow all this to get you down. As bad as all these things are?, they could really be much worse. You are still young, gamefully employed and you are going to sit down and decide that "you" are going to be a survivor. This is not the same as waking up one day and finding out your husband is a binge alcoholic, cheated on you with two other women and you don't even know if he is seeing someone right now, but you have a child to worry about, that was me, so I know all about "being depressed" and overwhelmed.

This is something you decide to do "the you for you" one day at a time, things "do" have a way of slowly improving, and you are not trapped like I was, you are not stuck in a challenging marriage, sometimes those who find things out before they get all wrapped up in a marriage are the ones that have a better chance of moving forward with less challenge. I am sure you are a good person, you deserve to be there for yourself too, life has a way of throwing some challenges we do not expect, it's not because we are unworthy either, bad things do happen to really good people.

((((Hugs)))))
OE

You and the other poster truly lifted my spirits. I took your advice and decided to get mad and work on my assignment. I finished it and am currently revising it firfor submission.

I think the most important take away from your post is that I need to take care of myself. I did that today and I pray you are rewarded for your kindness to me. I really do. I also appreciate you sharing your experience. In all honestly I checked out my relationship so I can't say I didn't see my fiancé feeling emotionally neglected coming. If you could move forward with children then I can most certainly do so. It really could be much worse. I'm trying to look forward to my vacation now and trying to ensure that I fight the urge to let all my losses get me down. I really do miss my baby pet though, I would have gotten out of bed for her yesterday - she was the only reason I got up for years.

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Originally Posted by Yoda

Thank you!

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Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

It looks like you left much bad stuff behind! Things that was once famillar to you, are now gone, and you are in a new state!

That why your feeling so depressed. Depression will hit people who are growing and moving away from old stuff, and this is what your are doing. That old bad stuff was like an old friend.

You are in a new state and a new state of mind. New Adventure now awaits you. Have another cup of soup, then do the assignment, then go out and have the Adventure of your life. Don't keep adventure waiting. Remember that you are now, your own Crisis Warrior.

I like how you put that, I am now my own Crisis Warrior! I think that is sometimes hard to accept as I had a strong network for so long. I'm utterly alone here as my fiancé isn't living with me. I've been down about the fact that the job isn't what I thought and I'm going to have to switch companies. I will survive it but I'm disappointed because I thought this was my fresh start.

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[Gus1234U]

i keep a little "stress test" with a list of points for each major change in my life, and when i go over the limit, i take to my bed as if i'm sick. it's well known that too much change, whether liked or disliked, can lead to illness, accident, and injury, not to mention depression and panic. here are some of the skills and coping mechanisms that have helped me, and many others. actually a good crisis line will remind you of many of them. i hope this helps:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxie...anic-ptsd.html

best wishes~
Gus

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i keep a little "stress test" with a list of points for each major change in my life, and when i go over the limit, i take to my bed as if i'm sick. it's well known that too much change, whether liked or disliked, can lead to illness, accident, and injury, not to mention depression and panic. here are some of the skills and coping mechanisms that have helped me, and many others. actually a good crisis line will remind you of many of them. i hope this helps:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxie...anic-ptsd.html

best wishes~
Gus

Thank you so much, Gus! I've saved that list for future reference. I've been using DBT in therapy but I'm only just learning to use that method.

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[RTerroni]

WOW, well I hope things get better for you

[hotchicken]

In one month, I got divorced, lost my job of 16 years, my house foreclosed and a pet we had died.

Wow, you totally understand this then.

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