Feeling out of the loop

Do you ever feel like everyone is included on something except for you? Like people all around you are friendly, joking around, and talking. And you are just there kind of "on the sidelines" observing, and feeling left out? I seem to be feeling this way lately and I'm not sure if it's due to my own neglect of self-love, and trying too hard to seek validation externally. Or if I'm not making enough of an effort to be involved with people. But whenever I do try to involve myself with people, I get shy and awkward and don't know how to act. It's like a vicious cycle. I wish I could just be calm, collected and natural at talking to people like I used to be. And get out of my own head. I'm always second-guessing myself and worrying about what people think. If I could just stop focusing on these things then I would be able to understand and relate to people. I feel like I'm so inward-thinking and I just want to focus on what is going on around me, rather than my internal processes! UGH

I have Asperger's and goodness knows what else... so I know everyone is included in something I'm not. I've never felt any form of group identity, am out of sync with emotional atmospheres, and I don't bond over emotions, nurturing, and disclosure the way others do. I'm happy in a people-oriented job where I troubleshoot and organize much to the joy of disorganized and confused people, but there's a huge chasm between us no matter how well we get along and I don't think anyone quite understands why.

I've learned not to take it personally. I don't communicate like a bird, so birds aren't crazy about me (unless I have food). I don't communicate like a human, so humans aren't crazy about me, either (unless I have solutions).

Any idea what changed to make talking to people less natural? I do believe that being too focused on specific results when the goal is just to talk to people can open you up to major disappointment. Talk to people, and people are what you're going to get - good, bad, and unpredictable.

I've felt like this my whole life. Always wondering if I'm doing something wrong, worrying about how people see me.... I have felt like an outcast all my life. Never truly fitting in anywhere.

Over the years I've learned to be self-aware enough to know I do not always fit in. It use to bother me a lot more. Know your strenghts and be proud of them. If socializing is not your thing...does not matter. You will connect with people who share your values and identify with "who you are" and will like you for "who you are". The rest does not really matter...it's your life. Now, obvioulsy, in a work situation you are expected to work with others. Notice abilities in others that you like or admire and point that out to them when you feel compfortable...you might find that you can bond over things that interest both of you. Take care and reflect on the good things about you!

Childhood experiences and relations with parents and others at a young age, is the root of these feelings. How did you relate with your other family members? Any connections, or did everyone just stayed in their own spaces?

I feel like that all the time and it seems that every time I try to say something it just doesn't come out right and everyone usually ignores it. A lot of the time I just end up sitting there and listening and they're all talking so fast I can't get a word in edgewise. It seems like they're in their world and I'm stuck in mine where I'm all alone.

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Many will stand there talking endlessly. Most is just meaningless "da...da..here I am" child kind of talk. Your world just might be the better place for you. Be selective and invite others into your world.