[aeloch24]

I don't know if this would trigger anything for anyone, because its no singular event but I'm new and still don't really know what to do or how to navigate…anyway, I can't really relax or let myself feel anything without getting really angry with myself to the point that I will hit myself or bite myself. It's gotten to the point that I have bruises on my shoulders…which maybe isn't so bad and I don't deserve to be here. I'm afraid to say anything I'm feeling because I don't want to be attention seeking or self pitying…i just feel like i'm in prison. and i judge everything i do and say, and being here makes me feel stupid and on one hand, i think i need to because before i got here i was starting to feel suicidal in a more serious way than before…I've never attempted so idk maybe its not that bad. i don't want to be full of ****. i think i am.

[kaliope]

no, it doesn't sound like you are full of ****. it sounds like you are majorly overwhelmed by your emotions, feelings all sorts of pain you don't know what to do with so you are externalizing it by beating on yourself. talking about how you feel with others is not a bad thing. if you are afraid others will think you are seeking attention, then get professional help. that is what they are there for. to help you sort through these emotions and give you coping skills to deal with them so you no longer have to hurt yourself. you also have PC here where you can pour your heart out and receive feedback from other members. you are not alone. know that. take care.

[Silent Void]

Originally Posted by aeloch24

I don't know if this would trigger anything for anyone, because its no singular event but I'm new and still don't really know what to do or how to navigate…anyway, I can't really relax or let myself feel anything without getting really angry with myself to the point that I will hit myself or bite myself. It's gotten to the point that I have bruises on my shoulders…which maybe isn't so bad and I don't deserve to be here. I'm afraid to say anything I'm feeling because I don't want to be attention seeking or self pitying…i just feel like i'm in prison. and i judge everything i do and say, and being here makes me feel stupid and on one hand, i think i need to because before i got here i was starting to feel suicidal in a more serious way than before…I've never attempted so idk maybe its not that bad. i don't want to be full of ****. i think i am.

I don't think anyone here will judge you if you speak your heart. Most people here are very understanding and are very good listeners. I hope you'll feel comfortable enough to talk to us. You've come to the right place.

[gayleggg]

Read some of our posts and get to know us, then you will feel less nervous posting yourself.

I've been know to ramble on myself but everyone has been nice and responded in a caring way.

This is a great place to come if you just need someone to listen or get feedback. I hope you get more comfortable about posting. Glad you're here.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, aeloch24, and welcome to Psych Central! Please, dear one, don't stress out so much about being here. We are here to be supportive. I think most of us worry a bit from time to time about how we are coming across. But we know that each of us is likely to be having some struggles--for example, depression or an acute episode of some kind, and we try to take that into account. Many of us know what it's like to walk in shoes like yours.

I reconciled myself over three years ago that I needed to be on a site such as this one. We all need folks to support us, and many of us don't get that in real life. Here we can be ourselves, as long as we are decent to other people. I know what it's like to be suicidal. You are wise to reach out. Please don't be mad at yourself! On the other hand, I think you should feel good about yourself for doing self-care. We are glad you are here.

We are generally a supplement to therapy. We can't really take the place of it in any official way. But some members are here because they can't afford therapy. As Kaliope said, it might be good if you could see a therapist in real life, if you aren't already. I see one and I find it very helpful.

You might want to relax by playing some games, getting involved in Social Chat, or something else not so intense. Just a thought. Do what you feel comfortable with and don't push yourself too much if it is upsetting you.

As you can see, I am a moderator and a liaison. I am one of the members who tries to help folks navigate their way around here. So, feel free to contact me or another moderator or liaison if you have questions or concerns. Okay? Just click on the names you see in colors. Such as green! That will send you to a profile page of one of us and you can leave private messages.

I am so glad you shared your feelings. We don't want to make your life worse. We want to help! Okay?