Found a way

Careful you might make me feel better about nagging you and just get it worse. :P

I dunno that people are necessarily not hesitant. They probably just hide it better.

I know I end up doing a lot of things out of sheer stubborn unwillingness to be 'beaten' even though my head is screaming at me that I must be mad.

There's always the full frontal face your fears and step right out there and do what you like solution but that's a pretty brutal way to go.

Maybe you could try the slower approach. Like in terms of social interactions- I'm not sure if you're going to bars or just small gatherings but starting out small with people you are at least semi comfortable with in a known surroundings might help.

I wonder if there's some way to trick yourself into feeling 'drunk'? (Apparently not. Google has failed me.)

I gotta say this though,

I do get the job done somehow, sometimes it's just luck, other times, I straighten up and work hard when push comes to shove (When it gets critical).

I actually don't plan on making more friends, I just want to become reclusive. Being reclusive is not something I hate, at all. I'm very comfortable when I'm all alone.

Well, Brokenentity, your post certainly has generated allot of replies! I haven't read all of them. But it appears most are exhorting you to not drink. And then, somewhere along the line, the question of making friends came into play. And, here, I see you're saying you don't want to make friends. You like to be reclusive.

I get this. I don't have, or particularly want friends. I do have acquaintances. I guess, if I could have exactly the friend I'd like, perhaps I would like to have a friend. But, since I can't get one made-to-order, I'm fine just being by myself. And, as far as drinking goes, I always used to drink. Sometimes I would also binge drink. But when I went on antidepressants, I stopped drinking with no problems. (And I LOVE the taste of alcoholic beverages.) So a few drinks now-&-again don't strike me as a bad sign necessarily.

The thing is here, I feel the need to ask you if you are hiding from the real issue? I think you & I both know what that is. It is certainly true that this could be said of me. But I'm in my 60's. You're in, what, your 20's? Let me tell you, there's a BIG difference! Knowing what I know now, if I was in my 20's, there's no question what I would be doing. Of course, this may or may not be right for you. But, from my perspective, you're too young to be locking yourself away. It may work for a while. But it's not going to serve you well for another 40 or 50 years or more.

Perhaps I'm just off track here. And if I am, please forgive me. "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." I have your best interest at heart...

Sometimes a couple beers or a drink is ok if I am overwhelmed, but many times when I've drank when stressed I've drank too much and have acted stupid and what not...so I try to be careful about drinking when I am stressed.

And for a while I was getting drunk just about every day to cope with stress and untreated PTSD symptoms, but yeah in the long run it didn't really make me feel much better....I do however find cannabis very useful and have never gotten out of control under the influence of that like with alcohol so that is more my substance of choice.

But yeah over time I have cut down a lot on alcohol consumption, and that seems to be working better for me. Anyways I can't tell you what you should do, but if you use alcohol that way just be aware there are risks and it can get out of control...sometimes even if you do think you're using enough caution. But I really don't see much wrong with having a drink or a beer or two(not 6 beers and a drink or more) if you've got something on your mind just to kind of relax and perhaps be distracted with less serious thoughts for a while if you can handle that.