[dolphinlover8]

I feel so alone. I have no one to lean on or to just talk to. I hate myself so much and my life. I am so scared to tell any therapist any of this. I'm scared that will take it too seriously. I feel like I am wasting my life. I want to go away somewhere far away and never come back. I want my life to be like it was 2 years ago but it's impossible. I feel so stuck and even if I get help I'm still stuck because I'm too scared to tell them how I really feel. I want my old therapist back so bad. He moved away a couple years ago and I got really attached to him. He is the only one I want to talk to. I just really don't know what to do.

[kaliope]

i dont know what you mean by you are afraid they will take it too seriously... dont you want to be taken seriously...there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you are feeling. it is not going to get you hospitalized if that is what you are worried about...unless you just didnt add that you hate yourslef and life so much that you are thinking of killing yourself...you dont have to add that part. they are common feelings most anybody has. if you share them with your t you are likely to feel closer. i understand missing your old t, you probably had a trusting relationship and you think yur not going to have that again. but you can. you only need to open up...take care.

[dolphinlover8]

Thanks! And one of my previous therapist thought something was a safety issue and I had to tell my mom. After that I am scared to say anything because what I told her I really didn't think was a safety issue.

[glok]

Hello, dolphinlover8.

5 Things Not to Worry About in Therapy
6 Ways to Open Up and Talk in Therapy

[dolphinlover8]

Hi and thanks for the links.

[mt777]

I Totally get it dolfinlover8!!
I just got a new therapist too. I really like him, but absolutly Do Not know how to open up to him! I have trust and abondonment issues. thats 1 part of the problem. other part is since i was about 15, i decided "I didnt like to feel my feelings" It hurt tooooo much!!! AND NOONE UNDERSTOOD! I got really "good" at it; as I went from substance to substance to make me numb.
Now fast fwd to "today" (some 30 yrs later) I've been clean & sober 13 months! which is Great...But Now I am so stuck! Not only do I NOT KNOW HOW to open up. (If I did) I don't know how to deal with these feelings "I've just opened up" about!...WOW
Anyway...having said all that, I really get it!
just wanted you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Be Strong Stay Strong

[dolphinlover8]

Thanks. I am glad you are sober now and hope you continue. I wish you luck with your new therapist and your feelings.

[Mrs. Mania]

Originally Posted by dolphinlover8

I feel so alone. I have no one to lean on or to just talk to. I hate myself so much and my life. I am so scared to tell any therapist any of this. I'm scared that will take it too seriously. I feel like I am wasting my life. I want to go away somewhere far away and never come back. I want my life to be like it was 2 years ago but it's impossible. I feel so stuck and even if I get help I'm still stuck because I'm too scared to tell them how I really feel. I want my old therapist back so bad. He moved away a couple years ago and I got really attached to him. He is the only one I want to talk to. I just really don't know what to do.

For some reason loneliness makes me want what used to be also. I'm always reminding myself to look forward to find new happiness. Hang in there