[jessicabjessicab]

I have never been "unable" to control my emotions ever since I started a relationship with someone suffering from bipolar disorder. I try my very hardest to be helpful to my boyfriend by lending an ear and promoting communications, avoiding situations which may cause his triggers, creating a positive atmosphere, etc. But, in turn I have set aside all of the emotions that I feel and have become a ball of fire and I can't control my emotions since I have no one to talk to. I just want to talk to my parents and close friends, but it just seems like they will never understand. People will begin to forget about the amazing person he is if I being venting about being a bipolar caregiver. Its frustrating. I am becoming angry. I just punched a box multiple times and it felt good. That is when I decided that I needed to join a forum. If I am releasing my anger this way now, what else will I decide to do? I really need help. I feel lost, out of control, emotional, helpless, afraid of my future with him, frustrated, confused......

[CANDC]

If you must punch something, try a pillow - less likely to hurt yourself. Venting is a good thing but talking to people who already disapprove or do not support your relationship backfires. I try the old count to 10 method and try to remember this is only a trigger and I am not threatened by it.

Originally Posted by jessicabjessicab

I try my very hardest to be helpful to my boyfriend by lending an ear and promoting communications, avoiding situations which may cause his triggers, creating a positive atmosphere, etc. But, in turn I have set aside all of the emotions that I feel and have become a ball of fire and I can't control my emotions since I have no one to talk to. I just want to talk to my parents and close friends, but it just seems like they will never understand. People will begin to forget about the amazing person he is if I being venting about being a bipolar caregiver.

Agree with the last post. Ever given thought that maybe if you were to address how you're feeling with him, he'll be more understanding towards you? Obviously you know him since you're there & know the course of your relationship, you know what you've tried & whether that's a wise move or not. I suggested since it sounds like you're being very accommodating to him while you're still unhappy.

[Thunder Bow]

You need outside support here. Also you can't rescue someone from their condition. You are not really helping him, and both of you will end up frustrated and Angry. Be with him because you like him, not because he is Bipolar or what ever. Let him take care of himself, I think he is capable of that. You Teach him through example, by taking care of yourself.

[Middlemarcher]

Originally Posted by floating.feather

Ever given thought that maybe if you were to address how you're feeling with him, he'll be more understanding towards you? Obviously you know him since you're there & know the course of your relationship, you know what you've tried & whether that's a wise move or not.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year; he has bipolar & BPD. I second this post & suggest you seriously think about this. I have been guilty before of not giving my boyfriend enough credit; I stuff my frustration for far too long, thinking that he won't respond well to me being open about it. But every time I finally (as kindly and respectfully as possible, though usually with lots of emotion) talk to him about it, we have a helpful conversation, and we end up feeling closer to each other. I have a therapist that I can talk to about all this, but nothing helps release the pressure like talking directly to my boyfriend about these things.

But this is all individual. My boyfriend is generally quite "high-functioning," and I do not consider myself his caregiver. I incline very easily to caretaking, so I have to be cautious not to get too enmeshed in someone else, and not to neglect myself. You might think about that, too, as I'm afraid that it sounds like you might be heading for burnout.