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  #1  
Old Aug 01, 2014, 09:25 AM
Anonymous37970
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Okay, pointless rant here, just to let out some feelings . I was working on a project at home when I let my mind wander. My mind almost always wonders, so I can't help it . It just that this time, it really hit me how badly I'm living my life. I'm rarely hit with this idea. Sure, I'm working and etc. but I'm not happy . What started this is that I thought about how some people are really happy. I imagined a group of young friends hanging out once and awhile or something and doing fun stuff. I imagined people going home with only a very small amount of stress on their mind and simply enjoying the day. Even people I know in real life seem to be pretty happy, even with their problems. Just thinking of this made me cry and realize that maybe my life isn't actually a happy one, or even anywhere near it.

For me, even my happiness is just to hold back whatever painful fears or stress I have that day. It's seems like fear or stress is the bulk of my life. And not small stresses or fears, but larger ones I don't think I really need to worry about. Sometimes it feels like I simply live life being handed off from one bad situation to another. Going home or going out, I still feel the same way. When people ask me how I'm doing and I have little to say, I swear they are creeped out by me. Even looking at my face in the mirror I see pain and unhappiness written into it, if you know what I mean. Just the unchanging expression. It's like I can't find peace and happiness anywhere or in any form. I really don't want to live like this anymore, and want to change things. I think I do it to myself. I suppose I'll need to work with a therapist through this.

Pointless rant over . Sorry about that. Thank you for reading.
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  #2  
Old Aug 01, 2014, 12:06 PM
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CANDC CANDC is offline
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Breezy~day, well I feel your pain. I often project that everyone is normal and happy except me. Of course, not true. Most people hide their pain but ours is so exposed that is not easy.
When people ask me how I am, the answer if fine or okay. That is usually all they are ready for unless they are close friends who I want to open up to. Some days I just want to get through the day.
Thanks for your rant - so I can go on one of my own! lol
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  #3  
Old Aug 01, 2014, 12:13 PM
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Hi Breezy. It's easy to get into a pattern of unhappy thoughts. I have a problem with this myself. And I've found once I let it start, it does not stop without extreme force of willpower. It helps to make a conscious effort to not dwell on such things. I choose a phrase to say to myself when I find my mind wandering that way. Right now it's "Stop thinking like that!". It won't cure your ills, but it helps in the moment. Try to replace negative with positive. Do go to a therapist, they help you discover more about yourself and why you are the way you are.
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Old Aug 01, 2014, 12:52 PM
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BLUEDOVE BLUEDOVE is offline
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I know the following sounds crazy,but that's because
you don't know it is in your subconscious: It is a book entitled,"Addicted to Unhappiness" by
Martha and William J. Pieper. At least this will
give you something to work on,and STOP blaming
dear self. It is an error we made in childhood.
Courage,
BLUEDOVE
  #5  
Old Aug 01, 2014, 05:56 PM
Anonymous37970
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Thank you for the responses . After having written that, I do feel that some of it was through a fish-lens because I had been feeling down lately. Maybe my focus is on the negative too much sometimes? I often go mindlessly headfirst into thinking about my problems without thinking twice about the consequences later, which is where a lot of my stress and emotional pain comes from. Hearing your responses helped.

I do feel like I have the power to make myself happier, though. I'm sure surrounding myself with positive influences is a start...

CANDC, thanks for telling me a bit about your feelings. Sometimes it helps just to let things out once and a while, especially if you keep things inside often. I think it's true that there are a lot of people who do have their own problems. I feel like they have better coping mechanisms than I do, however.

IrisBloom, I really understood this. I often forget that stressful thoughts are also like bad memories, and I need to learn to not think much of the former, in the same way I have learned to avoid the later. I think it's great that you've learned to avoid these negative thoughts when you know they'll bring you down.
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Old Aug 01, 2014, 06:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breezy~Day View Post
I do feel like I have the power to make myself happier, though. I'm sure surrounding myself with positive influences is a start...
Breezy day yes you have the power and that is all I feel I can really do for myself or others is point that out.

To follow your train of thinking when I was in the darkest times, I put a sign on the wall that shows you how much I had been dwelling on my mistakes.
It said "What did I do right?" I still have to ask myself that.
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  #8  
Old Aug 02, 2014, 06:28 AM
eggplantlife eggplantlife is offline
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Having negative thoughts this morning...and fighting or accepting it. There really are happy people out there. They go through their stress at the moment it is happening then they move towards something fun. It's interesting to watch...and learn but having a problem now. Some days are easier to let it go. It sure is a lot of energy sent on being positive. Sometimes it tires me out. Other people font have to put that much energy. People font get how much strength it takes to be positive.
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  #9  
Old Aug 02, 2014, 06:29 AM
eggplantlife eggplantlife is offline
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Don't not font
  #10  
Old Aug 02, 2014, 08:56 AM
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yes eggplantlife some days are tougher than others - i think i will have to start my morning routine to pick myself up.
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  #11  
Old Aug 05, 2014, 08:07 PM
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notafanofme notafanofme is offline
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Hugs, sending positive energy your way (((((+)))))
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  #12  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 08:46 AM
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AspenGirl AspenGirl is offline
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Breezy~Day,
I really do understand where you are coming from. The negative self-talk, the downward spiral, the grey-colored glasses you begin to see the world through...I do it to myself, too, often without even realizing it. When I do notice my thoughts headed in that direction, I stop myself, and I focus with all my might on one thing that is going right in my life. I tell myself that these negative feelings will pass. It helps. Maybe doing something like that would help you, too?
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