[MissInvisible]

When things get too much, I start to cry. I had thoughts of hurting myself but I didn't do it in the end. I was crying in front of my family and my mum was telling me how there's no point of crying. I think she was saying that it's silly to cry. It's what I do when I get too stressed or too angry. I cannot help it. It's better than stuffing my emotions down with food. I never ever did that except from when I was bored but I rarely do it now.

[Can't Stop Crying]

It is okay to cry - a sign of strength.
Too many times, too many people have said "don't cry" or "be strong"
I believe they we wrong
CSC

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by MissInvisible

When things get too much, I start to cry. I had thoughts of hurting myself but I didn't do it in the end. I was crying in front of my family and my mum was telling me how there's no point of crying. I think she was saying that it's silly to cry. It's what I do when I get too stressed or too angry. I cannot help it. It's better than stuffing my emotions down with food. I never ever did that except from when I was bored but I rarely do it now.

Crying is a natural and healthy emotional release. So, no... it's not silly. People seem to have this queer notion that it's an expression of weakness and also are unable to handle seeing people cry... it makes them uncomfortable... but that's their baggage, not yours.

So yes, if you need to cry... do so.

It's OK to cry,

and I wish I could cry, sometimes I reach breaking point but then... I fall short of crying. I haven't cried in.... like... forever...

[Frankbtl]

Hi MissInvisible, I am SO hoping that you're taking on board what the guys who have already answered have said over what your mum has said. Because going through life, trying to bottle up all your feelings.........pretending things aren't so bad...........not letting people see when you're hurting.............can do a lot more harm than good.
And you should be able to expect the people close to you, to care and offer you emotional support when you're hurting, to respect your feelings, to be there for you.
And **** does there have to be a point to expressing feelings anyway???!!! Feelings matter!!!
Anyway, it does sound like you're finding things hard right now........with things "getting too much"??? Or am I reading too much into that??? So I'll just say if you are having a hard time please try talking to someone about what's going on for you, whether it's trying to talk to your mum/your family again, a friend, someone from school/college/work (whatever point you're at)..................and of course you can talk to us too!!!
And you probably already know (??) but there is a forum on here for self injury where you can find real support if you're struggling with thoughts of hurting yourself.

Alison

[MissInvisible]

There's no point anymore. People don't want to listen to me. I've been taken for an emotional ride because of my mum. I really want to hurt myself right now. I JUST want to be happy. That's not hard. I can never be happy. I wish I could just be numb. I shouldn't have feelings. They just hurt.

[Frankbtl]

Hi MissInvisible, it does sound like your mum isn't very supportive but WE/I want to listen to you. And maybe we can't help you feel "happy" right now, because it sounds like you're going through a lot, but we might be able to help you lessen the pain/hurt a little.
And that's got to count for something- a starting point- considering where you're at right now hasn't it.......and then/from there.........there's nothing to say you can't be happy in time/gradually.
And just maybe letting out those feelings, talking about them, working through them can give you that same release hurting yourself might give you, but in a way that's going to help you/not hurt you.
So, just to be sure we're starting in the right place, do you want to talk about the urges/SI (because we want you to be safe) first, or about your feelings/what's going on for you first.

Alison

[MissInvisible]

I am safe. It can happen when my parents are in an argument or when I get too upset or someone hurts me. My emotions can be too much for me. I watch relaxation videos to distract myself, it is helpful. I need ways to distract myself but in the moment, I just focus on the negative thoughts. I can't let go but until I get my mind off it. The emotions lessen. I told myself "there's no point of hurting myself".

[Frankbtl]

Hi MissInvisible, it is really good that you've found some distractions helpful, and sometimes that might be what we need most just to get us "out of the moment".
It can be hard to think about or push ourselves to find distractions when things are hard though/when everything comes at us...........so do you think you could make a list of things that help to pull on if you need them?? Could be list of songs that help/that you could listen to, particular youtube videos, websites, a particular DVD, poems, games, could be that it might help you to write things down, have a bath or go for a walk...............whatever might help you. And then if something on your list doesn't work.............move down the list.........even choose a short, positive or comforting mantra to keep saying to yourself over and over if the negative thoughts are taking over.
But sometimes things can return later can't they?? Take a hold??
So maybe when you're ready you could look at different ways to help you with things e.g. if someone's hurt you then there may be reasons which make it easier to manage...........maybe it wasn't personal/they didn't know what they were doing/they were hurting themselves or had their own problems which caused it????
And perhaps there are things you can do/think which can help you move on e.g. remind yourself they aren't worth it, tell yourself they don't deserve to be hurting you like this/now, remind yourself that if that happens again you can still "walk away", tell yourself what you'll do or what you'll say to them if it happens again..........
And hey, you can always come to us if you want a bit of support!!!

Alison

[MissInvisible]

You're right. When I'm negative, I can't think straight. I don't think I should make decisions when I'm in this mindset. It's not the best time to talk to my friends. I should isolate myself until I feel a lot calmer. I slept so I feel a lot calmer today.

[Frankbtl]

Hi MissInvisible, really good things are better for you today
And I guess it all comes down to what works best for you. Doesn't stop you from trying different things as well though, trying to find different things that will help even more, if you need to .
You can be right about putting off decisions as well...........a lot of people might make different decisions when they're calmer/less under stress/seeing the "bigger picture".........more options......more possibilities................
But if talking to your friends at those times might help..........you know they should be there for you if you have that kind of a relationship going on with some of them...........friends should be there for the "bad" times as well as the "good" times. But you still have us to talk to anyway.

Alison

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by MissInvisible

When things get too much, I start to cry. I had thoughts of hurting myself but I didn't do it in the end. I was crying in front of my family and my mum was telling me how there's no point of crying. I think she was saying that it's silly to cry. It's what I do when I get too stressed or too angry. I cannot help it. It's better than stuffing my emotions down with food. I never ever did that except from when I was bored but I rarely do it now.

The piece I wrote here might help: http://forums.psychcentral.com/adult...ars-grief.html

Others will try to stop or shame us about our tears because they are desperately trying to keep their own tears and pain UNDER CONTROL and your tears threaten to make them break down and cry also!
For me, tears are both essential and one way to heal old wounds, so LET 'EM FALL!
jim