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  #26  
Old Sep 21, 2014, 09:18 PM
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emmaleewhispers emmaleewhispers is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14 View Post
Volunteering is also good.
Yes, I agree. Volunteering is an excellent way to take your mind off the emptiness. It won't fix it completely, but it will help some. Plus, the best part is, you're helping someone else and contributing to society in a way that most people never do!

Good luck to you
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  #27  
Old Sep 22, 2014, 05:01 PM
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mountain human mountain human is offline
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I wonder how many people around me feel the same thing...I just assume they're "normal" but maybe they're thinking I'm normal, God knows I work hard to try to convince the world that I am. I used drugs and alcohol for a long time to fill the void, thought food or relationships would do it. It all works but only for a while. Yes, focusing on others helps but isn't this also just a short-term fix? In ACT, they talk about finding out what your values are and living life doing things that are in accordance with those values.
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  #28  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:02 AM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by Alter View Post
Yes i also feel an emptiness deep inside of me i think about it sometimes, i don't know what caused it and i don't know how to fill it i just know that it is there deep inside of me.

Maybe it is there because i wanted to find someone who could be there for me, someone i could trust, someone who i could share all that i actually feel what i actually am and would accept me as i am, but i don't know that even if i ever find that someone the emptiness would be filled, maybe it will stay with me as long as i live, i just don't know.
This is exactly how I feel
  #29  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:03 AM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by Indefatigable View Post
The emptiness is a feeling of lack.
It pushes us towards a higher understanding/awareness/consciousness.
I have considered this. Perhaps it is meant to be functional. It's hard to make use of it when it is so paralyzing though.
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  #30  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:05 AM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by richeye View Post
I realize just how much and how long i've been feeling this emptiness. Religion and sports an TV had been filling it for the years that I've been sober, which is almost9 years. But this emptiness goes back longer to 20 years ago as a senior in high school. I drank to fill the desperation for many years.

Rouge198, i feel that i just don't want anything. Yet medication and therapy doesn't seem to fill that void lately.
Religion helped me too...for a while. Then entertainment and briefly a relationship. Therapy was also helpful but I no longer have insurance.
  #31  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:06 AM
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Originally Posted by emmaleewhispers View Post
Yes, I agree. Volunteering is an excellent way to take your mind off the emptiness. It won't fix it completely, but it will help some. Plus, the best part is, you're helping someone else and contributing to society in a way that most people never do!

Good luck to you
I have found that helping others distracts me for a time but then I feel like a bit of a fraud for helping when I myself am not emotionally strong right now.
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  #32  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:08 AM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by mountain human View Post
I wonder how many people around me feel the same thing...I just assume they're "normal" but maybe they're thinking I'm normal, God knows I work hard to try to convince the world that I am. I used drugs and alcohol for a long time to fill the void, thought food or relationships would do it. It all works but only for a while. Yes, focusing on others helps but isn't this also just a short-term fix? In ACT, they talk about finding out what your values are and living life doing things that are in accordance with those values.
I recently started considering reading the rest of the ACT book that my former therapist recommended. Your mention of ACT might be confirmation that I really need to begin taking steps to fill this void in a healthy way.
  #33  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 03:11 AM
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Originally Posted by JES76 View Post
Wow....I can totally relate. I also have been fairly successful in my career however I lost my job (first time ever) on August 1. So I'm unemployed and without a spouse or boyfriend. (I always choose the wrong one so it's probably better that I don't have one). Evenings are the worst....the emptiness is there more often than not. It's here now.

It does help to know that I'm not alone in this feeling.....
This really resonated with me as the emptiness kicked up when I became unemployed. My identity tends to be wrapped in my vocation. Wonder how that impacts our feeling of emptiness. I mean it seems sort of culturally induced since our culture always sells the idea that things will fulfill us.
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  #34  
Old Sep 23, 2014, 12:17 PM
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Slamjammer Slamjammer is offline
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Look into CEN....Childhood Emotional Neglect. There may even be some information on this site which relates to it.

Your comment about your "parents never being there" was the tip off.

Good luck to you!
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  #35  
Old Sep 28, 2014, 08:07 PM
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anxteach anxteach is offline
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Yes. I feel that a lot. Even when I'm happy, I often don't feel happy enough. It's like there's always something missing.
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  #36  
Old Sep 28, 2014, 09:38 PM
Onward2wards Onward2wards is offline
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I have sometimes felt an enormous emptiness, but it's not a constant for me. That feeling ALWAYS shows up if there is some positive thing that's been objectively missing from my life for too long. I see it as a useful warning signal that a change is truly needed.
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  #37  
Old Sep 28, 2014, 10:40 PM
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Lemon Curd Lemon Curd is offline
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It's always there for me. Always. It's a damp moldy dungeon, which holds all my shame, fears, guilt, deep sadness, loneliness...
Though always there, some days the door is closed, or just slightly ajar. Other days, wide open ~~ sucking me in ~~ with such strength. Just know you're not alone.
*big warm friendship hug*
What helps me keep that door closed? Exercise, even if it's just a 30 minute walk; eating healthy; talking to like minded, drama free friends or family; getting rid of toxic relationships.
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Who am I then?
The one who sees that."
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  #38  
Old Sep 29, 2014, 07:15 PM
Bumblebuzz12 Bumblebuzz12 is offline
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Oh yeah I've been there and I still am. I really hope you fill your hole I know how much it sucks. I know how to fill my hole but I can't. It's complicated. Anyways good luck.
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  #39  
Old Oct 06, 2014, 04:24 PM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by anxteach View Post
Yes. I feel that a lot. Even when I'm happy, I often don't feel happy enough. It's like there's always something missing.
That's how I feel. Sort of makes me feel ungrateful.
  #40  
Old Oct 06, 2014, 04:24 PM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
I have sometimes felt an enormous emptiness, but it's not a constant for me. That feeling ALWAYS shows up if there is some positive thing that's been objectively missing from my life for too long. I see it as a useful warning signal that a change is truly needed.
That's a good way to think about it,as a warning or signal that things need to change.
  #41  
Old Oct 06, 2014, 04:25 PM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by nutty buddy View Post
It's always there for me. Always. It's a damp moldy dungeon, which holds all my shame, fears, guilt, deep sadness, loneliness...
Though always there, some days the door is closed, or just slightly ajar. Other days, wide open ~~ sucking me in ~~ with such strength. Just know you're not alone.
*big warm friendship hug*
What helps me keep that door closed? Exercise, even if it's just a 30 minute walk; eating healthy; talking to like minded, drama free friends or family; getting rid of toxic relationships.
I need to follow your lead with exercise. I've been slacking on that and it generally does help make the feeling more manageable.
  #42  
Old Oct 06, 2014, 04:26 PM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by Bumblebuzz12 View Post
Oh yeah I've been there and I still am. I really hope you fill your hole I know how much it sucks. I know how to fill my hole but I can't. It's complicated. Anyways good luck.
Thank you,good luck to you too!
  #43  
Old Oct 07, 2014, 01:07 PM
Anonymous35111
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Originally Posted by Slamjammer View Post
Look into CEN....Childhood Emotional Neglect. There may even be some information on this site which relates to it.

Your comment about your "parents never being there" was the tip off.

Good luck to you!
I had trouble considering this because I knew it would mean work as a former therapist said she believed I might have suffered from CEN. Last night I chose to look it up and everything sounded familiar.

I currently live with my parents and just last night I caught the tail end of a conversation wherein my mother was badmouthing me to a friend of hers on the phone. She likely assumed that I was asleep. I cannot tell you the sacrifices I've made for my mom throughout my life or the strains that those sacrifices have put on my romantic relationships,finances, mental health etc. I knew she was manipulative but I didn't think it was to this degree. My father I've already seen in action.

I realize now where this emptiness may have started as I read my old diaries and read of the many many times that I took care of my parents instead of them taking care of me.
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