[BellaLoca]

I'm currently starting a treatment program for alcoholism and I just need to vent about others not being understanding. I hate how people tell me to "just get over it" and that if I wanted to just stop drinking, then why don't I just stop? I've tried explaining to them that it just doesn't work that way. If it were that easy, then I would just do it and that's that. They don't understand that this is a disease!!! *SIGH* I FEEL SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED! AHHH!!! It's one of the reasons why I joined PsychCentral. I feel so misunderstood and judged so it's hard to talk to family/friends who don't want to even try to understand what I'm explaining. What can I do to make them understand? ANYTHING? Any advice would be much appreciated. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

I am not an alcoholic but I do have depression and have dealt with similar dismissal from some family members when I told them. Honestly, I think the only way to get through is to continue calmly educating them. You have to act in control, even if you feel angry and out of control, so that they will listen to you. If you explain that it is an addiction and a disease, and that you would appreciate their understanding and support, that's really all you can do. If they refuse to believe you, that's something you can't control.
I felt judged, especially when I decided not to start medication after all (because I wanted to try therapy first), and this decision seemed to signify to my aunt that I was therefore not sick. If I wasn't taking meds, I had no disease. This only made me feel worse about my depression, feel like I was being weak by not being able to overcome it alone, and guilty about even thinking of taking meds.
So I feel your pain! I hope your family can listen to you. It may take them some time to come to terms with the idea.

[JadeAmethyst]

[aries1]

I hear where you are coming from, BellaLoca, and I totally feel your pain. Granted, my "issues" are not alcohol related but they are ones I cannot just "get over" simply because someone tells me to. Honestly, I personally feel that hearing those words makes the things I'm dealing with that much harder to "get over" so, in my opinion, those words do more harm than good (which is not exactly helpful then, is it? ). As to how you can make anyone understand why you cannot just "get over it"...good luck, you can explain until you are blue in the face and still get nowhere because, truth is, they (those who are telling you these words) really, truly do NOT understand and, unless and until they do, the chances of you hearing anything different from them is likely never going to happen. As bluedonna92 said above, the best you can do is try and educate those who need educating.

All the best to you!!

Biggggg hugs

[Alter]

The world is cruel, society is garbage, normal people can't understand anything that's different they just understand what is normal that is how they are, there are some exeptions and sometimes you find people that accept differences and know that its not something so simple that you can "just get over it" and accept the person you are. The rest are just garbage and that's why that people with disseases like depression keep it with themselves , most of the world out there would not be able to understand and would judge them or worse.

[DawnieDollface]

I understand how you feel, I suffered from Alcoholism a couple of years ago and I had a lot of fmaily members ask me why I was going to treatment.. It was just alcohol and I can stop and get over my emotional issues another way. Its very frustrating to me now because I had someone recently after my suicide attempt tell me to just get over it!

[Hellion]

Not sure you can make them understand unfortunately. I sometimes have people say stuff like that to me about my depression, PTSD and anxiety and experience the same frusteration of thinking 'well if i could just stop having these issues I would' so I can see where you are coming from, though I don't have any specific addiction issues have over indulged in/abused substances but not due to addiction.

You can certainly vent here though and will probably find some people who can understand...as for people who don't get it, sometimes you just have to accept that and still take care of yourself and your needs even if they don't get it....but that can be very frusterating and lack of support can make it more difficult, but one can also waste a lot of energy trying to get people to understand things they never can.

[ombrétwilight]

I don't have alcoholism but I do have issues with OCD, bipolar and self injury. I get the most "just-get-over-it" for the last one, because there seems to be this prevailing mentality (perhaps fed by the emo side of Tumblr?) that people who self-harm do it for attention and can "snap out of it" just like that. They don't understand that it's every bit of an addiction as alcohol, drugs and gambling. In fact I believe the DSM has recently classified SI as a distinct condition.

The sad thing is, most people will never be able to truly empathise with people with MI. I myself was unable to place myself in the shoes of someone with MI until I experienced it myself. There is still a huge stigma attached and sadly, ignorance and vitriol seem to rule the day with hugely skewed perceptions of the MI community. It might be encouraging that these notions are changing for the better, but I don't foresee a complete reversal in the near future.

Well then, this is what PsychCentral is for! So glad you joined us and we're all here to support one another through the ups-and-downs of life. Welcome!

[Thunder Bow]

"Just Get Over It" is said by simple minded people, who do not think about things very much. Just ignore them. You know better.

[BellaLoca]

Originally Posted by bluedonna92

I am not an alcoholic but I do have depression and have dealt with similar dismissal from some family members when I told them. Honestly, I think the only way to get through is to continue calmly educating them. You have to act in control, even if you feel angry and out of control, so that they will listen to you. If you explain that it is an addiction and a disease, and that you would appreciate their understanding and support, that's really all you can do. If they refuse to believe you, that's something you can't control.
I felt judged, especially when I decided not to start medication after all (because I wanted to try therapy first), and this decision seemed to signify to my aunt that I was therefore not sick. If I wasn't taking meds, I had no disease. This only made me feel worse about my depression, feel like I was being weak by not being able to overcome it alone, and guilty about even thinking of taking meds.
So I feel your pain! I hope your family can listen to you. It may take them some time to come to terms with the idea.

Wow, thank you, bluedonna92! I feel the same. I'd like to try therapy before getting on meds but I have those same fears, like I won't be taken seriously. I will just try my best to educate others and if they really can't/don't want to support me, then I can't do anything else other than to surround myself with others who do want to support/understand me. Thanks so much!

[BellaLoca]

Originally Posted by DawnieDollface

I understand how you feel, I suffered from Alcoholism a couple of years ago and I had a lot of fmaily members ask me why I was going to treatment.. It was just alcohol and I can stop and get over my emotional issues another way. Its very frustrating to me now because I had someone recently after my suicide attempt tell me to just get over it!

Tell you to get over it after a suicide attempt? Oh my, that's awful! That's one of the biggest, if not, THE BIGGEST challenges in being able to get proper help and progress in our illnesses: this stigma that still surrounds mental illness because people don't think it's a big deal. People are uneducated and so they want to tell us to "get over it". I wish others could finally accept that mental illness is a REAL thing and that you don't just "get over it". We would all benefit tremendously from that! ThanksDawnieDollface! HUGS!

[Open Eyes]

BellaLoca,

I am very sorry you have experienced that reaction in your effort to get sober and slowly learn to live your life in a healthier way. I think you will get more support from AA meetings where others have worked the steps and support staying sober and understand that alcoholism "is" a disease.

I am not an alcoholic myself but my husband was a binge alcoholic and has been involved with AA and sober now for 24 years. He also runs a meeting every week and will attend meetings whenever he is stressed to get support and a healthier mindset.
However, my husband got involved with alcohol because he struggled not only with compulsive ADHD, but also dyslexia and he used the alcohol to self medicate for his low self esteem and also because his compulsive ADHD was relentless so the alcohol in his mind gave him an escape. He went undiagnosed or untreated for his compulsive ADHD, and for a long time the connection between alcoholism and that challenge as well as self medicating for depression or a history of trauma/stress was not realized.

So what people do not understand about alcoholism, is that it isn't something a person "just gets over" and there often is something underneath that condition the person was trying to escape from somehow. The addiction is both physical and psychological and while it is hard to "stop", the physical addiction is much easier to get over, than the psychological. When my husband finally got sober, he was constantly going to meetings, and I went from being alone because he drank, to being alone because his effort to stay sober took most of his attention and for a very "long time" too.

I myself suffer from PTSD, and people don't get that either and tend to give me the constant "just get over it" messages too.

I think that you have made the right choice in making the effort, that had to be "your choice" too, so it is important that you make sure you spend more time with people who can support and understand that and ignore those who don't respect this challenge. I do recommend going to AA meetings and finding a sponser for support. It may take you some time to find a group that fits for you, but keep trying.

Welcome to PC too by the way.

((Supportive Hugs)))

OE