Sometimes relationships, doing things I like or distractions fill it but it is always there. I feel hollow and alone a lot. Always on the verge of tears and one trigger away from depression.

I don't know how to treat this emptiness. When I feel abandoned or threatened with the possibility of losing whatever is temporarily filling the void I lash out and push it or him/her away before it can leave me.

Right now I feel it because my relationship is in the trash and I have no job to distract me from my feelings. I also just moved states and neither of my parents is emotionally available ( or ever has been) and I don't trust any close friends.

Has anyone else experienced this emptiness inside? It worries me because sometimes it is so bad that I think I would be better off not living.

[Bipolarchic14]

Ya I have been there. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Have you seen a therapist? If not, this may be something to consider for a while. Maybe you could look for some clubs to join or look for a new job. I know for me that helps fill the void. Volunteering is also good.

Yeah, I have felt emptiness. I know this sounds like a cliché, but you have to learn how to love yourself. Nobody can validate you as a wonderful person--except for you.

I feel you. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Actually, I should probably have, like...a hundred t-shirts by now.
(Where are my t-shirts???) Anyway...

I know what you mean by the emptiness that's always there. I feel it on a regular basis. I mean, I do try to distract myself, and sometimes it works. But it's always there. Doesn't matter where I'm at in my day or what I'm doing, sometimes it'll sneak up on me. Like yesterday, I had an unexplainable wave of sadness just hit me suddenly, and for all the rest of the day I had that emptiness. I think mine is because of loved ones I've lost and wishing for things to be the way they were.

I'm sorry you feel it too. I know it's awful.
I do hope you feel better soon.

[margie123]

I know exactly how you feel.

[Alone & confused]

Do I EVER know what you mean! My whole life has been a quest to find things to fill the void inside me! Going from one distraction to another trying not to feel the emptiness. Unfortunately, I have no answers. But I hope it helps to know you're not the only one. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry you're going through this too!

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Ya I have been there. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Have you seen a therapist? If not, this may be something to consider for a while. Maybe you could look for some clubs to join or look for a new job. I know for me that helps fill the void. Volunteering is also good.

I saw a therapist for a while and it was helpful but I'm uninsured now. I wouldn't have transportation to clubs or orgs, unfortunately.

Originally Posted by ken50

Yeah, I have felt emptiness. I know this sounds like a cliché, but you have to learn how to love yourself. Nobody can validate you as a wonderful person--except for you.

Yeah I know you're right. I don't think I want validation though. I'm pretty accomplished academically and professionally and I tend to let that determine a lot about how I see myself - though that's not altogether healthy either. The emptiness feels like...idk, it's hard to explain. I don't tend to want validation though. I get a lot of that from ppl because I made success my drug of choice so ppl think I lead a perfect life. I do know you're right about the remedy being inside me or coming from me. Not sure how to get there.

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I feel you. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Actually, I should probably have, like...a hundred t-shirts by now.
(Where are my t-shirts???) Anyway...

I know what you mean by the emptiness that's always there. I feel it on a regular basis. I mean, I do try to distract myself, and sometimes it works. But it's always there. Doesn't matter where I'm at in my day or what I'm doing, sometimes it'll sneak up on me. Like yesterday, I had an unexplainable wave of sadness just hit me suddenly, and for all the rest of the day I had that emptiness. I think mine is because of loved ones I've lost and wishing for things to be the way they were.

I'm sorry you feel it too. I know it's awful.
I do hope you feel better soon.

Thank you so much for this! You made me laugh and feel so understood. There should be t-shirts!

Originally Posted by margie123

I know exactly how you feel.

Just knowing someone else understands is incredibly helpful. I'm sorry we've both been to that place.

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Do I EVER know what you mean! My whole life has been a quest to find things to fill the void inside me! Going from one distraction to another trying not to feel the emptiness. Unfortunately, I have no answers. But I hope it helps to know you're not the only one. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry you're going through this too!

Thank you! Same here. I've moved several times and have tried distracting myself too. It just doesn't seem to go away...tough part is articulating the feelings that come with it.

The emptiness for me started around 12 years old. I tried to fill it with spirituality because ppl told me that reasding the bible more would help. It did for a while then it didn't. No coincidence that it stopped helping when I started graduate school.

[lizardlady]

For me it's kind of in the background most of the time, but it pushes to the front at times. Does that makes sense. I don't know what the answer is to it, but I believe it has to come from the inside. I've tried to fill the hole by being busy and working like a mad woman. The hole is still there. My critters come the closest to filling it.

Yes ...

[cool09]

The emptiness for me started around 12 years old.

Something strange started happening to me when I was 14. It was like an emptiness and I felt like things stopped registering with me and things went right thru me. I could not relate to friends and family anymore, I didn't feel enjoyment anymore and I had no idea why and I didn't know what was happening to me. I made a complete 180 degree turn between 13 and 14 and I can't explain it. At 13 I was active, focused and enthusiastic and at 14 I was confused, withdrawn and and distant. Over the last year I found out that it was a depersonalized dissociative disorder that started at 14 (I've also had a mood disorder that started shortly after that and the mood disorder is extremely prevalent in 1/4 of my family). I still have had very little relief for all of this over the past 36 years after years of treatment and hospitalizations, etc. I can't really pinpoint the dissociation to any event except one thing which took place at 14 and it was really very minor so I'm at a loss. I discussed the dissociation with my PDOC and he didn't say much about it except that he knew 3-4 PDOCs who specialized in dissociative disorders and that the PDOCs usually knew more about the patients than the patients knew about themselves.

[Woman_Overboard]

Yep :/

I call it 'the void'... not a fun place to get stuck in. Sometimes it feels like parts of me are already dead.

Originally Posted by Woman_Overboard

Yep :/

I call it 'the void'... not a fun place to get stuck in. Sometimes it feels like parts of me are already dead.

That's exactly how I feel.

Does anyone know if this emptiness is specific to any one mental illness?

[moodycow]

sure do ......

[Velouria]

Oh god, this reminds me of a great Bukowski poem, one of my favorites (it actually makes me feel better when I read it, so I hope it does the same for you, but if it doesn't, I'm sorry):

"no help for that"

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

a space

and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times

we will know it

we will know it
more than
ever

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled
and

we will wait
and
wait

in that space.

~Charles Bukowski

[JES76]

Wow....I can totally relate. I also have been fairly successful in my career however I lost my job (first time ever) on August 1. So I'm unemployed and without a spouse or boyfriend. (I always choose the wrong one so it's probably better that I don't have one). Evenings are the worst....the emptiness is there more often than not. It's here now.

It does help to know that I'm not alone in this feeling.....

[Alter]

Yes i also feel an emptiness deep inside of me i think about it sometimes, i don't know what caused it and i don't know how to fill it i just know that it is there deep inside of me.

Maybe it is there because i wanted to find someone who could be there for me, someone i could trust, someone who i could share all that i actually feel what i actually am and would accept me as i am, but i don't know that even if i ever find that someone the emptiness would be filled, maybe it will stay with me as long as i live, i just don't know.

The emptiness is a feeling of lack.
It pushes us towards a higher understanding/awareness/consciousness.

[Gavinandnikki]

All the time unless I'm high:

[richeye]

I realize just how much and how long i've been feeling this emptiness. Religion and sports an TV had been filling it for the years that I've been sober, which is almost9 years. But this emptiness goes back longer to 20 years ago as a senior in high school. I drank to fill the desperation for many years.

Rouge198, i feel that i just don't want anything. Yet medication and therapy doesn't seem to fill that void lately.