not in a sexual way...it's just that I don't get any kind of physical affection, ever. there is no one in my life to give it to me. I keep having dreams that I'm being cuddled or held, and in the dreams I always feel warm and love, and then I always wake up cold and alone... it's really starting to hurt me. I don't have any friends or any special someone in my life, there's basically no one to get any kind of affection from, and I am severely starved of it. so tired of hugging pillows and blankets and pretending they're people. the simple fact is that I am alone. Im getting desperate, not like give hugs to random strangers desperate, but getting there. It's close to the biggest thing on my mind these past few days. I cannot take much more.

[Thunder Bow]

You are holding and cuddling yourself in your dreams. That is a step in the right direction, and the most important one.

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

You are holding and cuddling yourself in your dreams. That is a step in the right direction, and the most important one.

I never thought of it in a way that I might actually be cuddling myself in my dreams. But that makes sense though...I never see the other person's face or what they look like in the dream. Though in the dream they feel separate from me. In one dream, the person appeared as a girl I used to be friends with.

I just really wish I had someone to physically cuddle and hold onto/be held by. Life is lonely for me right now. I wish my arms were freakishly long so I could wrap them around myself and hug myself. But I'm huge and my arms only cover my stomach.
I used to cuddle my cat, now even that doesn't happen because she won't come into my room anymore (my new bed freaks her out). I get no physical love.

[PianogirlPlays]

Maybe a support group would help put you into contact with some people who would love and care about you and give hugs.

[manxcatwoman]

I can relate, ShyPoetGirl. As for my cat, she doesn't like to snuggle so I hold onto my Curious George stuffed animal at night. It may sound a little naïve but it helps me. The big long bed pillows work too. I hope you find something that helps.

[Jenni855]

I feel exactly the same. I understand your pain, it is like an aching hole, very painful.

[gloamingone]

I know what you mean. My boyfriend doesn't give me physical affection of any kind, and it's so hard. Our new dog likes to cuddle, so that's about all I have now. My T says I'm starved for skin to skin contact. Maybe I should shave the dog?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by PianogirlPlays

Maybe a support group would help put you into contact with some people who would love and care about you and give hugs.

There's no support groups in my area, unfortunately, except AA and things like that, but I'm not an addict. There's not even group therapy here because about a year ago I asked my mom if she would help me find a group, and there were none. (I live in a small town and we can't get out of town, no car.) Other people tend not to like me anyway.

[CapedCrusader]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

and I am severely starved of it. so tired of hugging pillows and blankets and pretending they're people. the simple fact is that I am alone. Im getting desperate, not like give hugs to random strangers desperate, but getting there. It's close to the biggest thing on my mind these past few days. I cannot take much more.

Time will come. There's always tomorrow.

[CapedCrusader]

Time will come. We don't know when. People will just pop in front of you and its up to you to choose. Cheers

[Tommo]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

There's no support groups in my area, unfortunately, except AA and things like that, but I'm not an addict. There's not even group therapy here because about a year ago I asked my mom if she would help me find a group, and there were none. (I live in a small town and we can't get out of town, no car.) Other people tend not to like me anyway.

Are you still in school??? Have a job??? You need to be more outgoing. You sound isolated.

Originally Posted by Tommo

Are you still in school??? Have a job??? You need to be more outgoing. You sound isolated.

I dropped out of school because of bullying. There's nowhere to go in this town.
& I can't just "be more outgoing", I have Social Anxiety. It's not that easy for me.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I know exactly how you feel. I have counted the weeks since I had physical contact. Humans aren't made to live that way. We are social creatures. I told my T last session how I was starving for human contact and how many weeks it had been. She offered me a hug at the end of the session. Of course I took it, and it made a world of difference. I hope you can get a real hug, too.

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

I know exactly how you feel. I have counted the weeks since I had physical contact. Humans aren't made to live that way. We are social creatures. I told my T last session how I was starving for human contact and how many weeks it had been. She offered me a hug at the end of the session. Of course I took it, and it made a world of difference. I hope you can get a real hug, too.

Thank you...the feeling is horrible, isn't it? I've never even had a boyfriend, so it's not like I've ever had much physical affection in my life. It's a terrible way to live. I'm glad you have your T who can give you a hug, I don't have a T and can't get one at the moment for several reasons. The only person to give me a hug is my mom, but she can't give me the kind of hugs I really need right now. I really need to be cuddled, more like.

[Tommo]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Thank you...the feeling is horrible, isn't it? I've never even had a boyfriend, so it's not like I've ever had much physical affection in my life. It's a terrible way to live. I'm glad you have your T who can give you a hug, I don't have a T and can't get one at the moment for several reasons. The only person to give me a hug is my mom, but she can't give me the kind of hugs I really need right now. I really need to be cuddled, more like.

You use the name "Shy Poet Girl".....

There's a lot to be made of that. Certainly get into therapy...and school. Set your sights on an English Lit degree and don't worry about "being popular"...it will happen all by itself.

I can see from your writing that you are bright and articulate but need to be let loose on the world! I can also see the bullying at school is a mitigating factor. I'd suggest you take some beginners martial arts classes...which will build your self-confidence and get you socialising. Many classes specifically deal WITH schoolyard bullying.....

A good step was in seeking some companionship and understanding here on this website. Your next step is to find a physical group of folks that share your world...

I hope you find your way. Meanwhile...use these emotive issues to write some great poetry. There are people just like you out there that need to read them...

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Thank you for sharing. Keep in mind that you need safe cuddles. I got so desperate that I ended up with unsafe contact... I got used for my body. That was bad. If you can't get them for real, I wish you more cuddle dreams. They almost activate the same areas of our brain..,

Hugs...