[brainhi]

Here we go again. A bit of a rant. I do not have a lot of great memories of holiday times. It's nice to be invited to gatherings... but it is also hard to pretend.

I've learned through the years not to peek into other's lives and devalue mine - but sometimes that's not so easy.

I would prefer to be by myself and figure out a way to treat myself.

I am thankful - but if I brought up what I am really thankful for at a dinner table with others, they just would not understand..because they do not understand the rest of the year.

I do have those that understand.. and they are a phone call away - I will put my time in with them.

I wish the others at pc to have the kind of holidays that have true meaning for yourselves and loved ones.

[jelly-bean]

I know what you mean about pretending. I will be "playing the game" tomorrow when I would rather be alone but Who knows......maybe things will work out just great. i wish you the very best on Thanksgiving and I hope that you get to spend it however you want to.

[Lostdeepinspace]

Hello brainhi! You are experiencing how to learn to deal with you feelings and how others percieve u and your issues. What i have learned to do is just be superficial. This doesnt mean u have to be fake, it just means dont let your deepness out for people to judge... Well atleast around the people that you know make it hard for you. Find something mildly meaningless to talk about that doesnt have to do with your everyday life but just enough that you can still carry a conversation with someone. Find something to talk about that is interesting like science or sports... Or whatever instead of getting into things like family issues or gossip. If u avoid those kinds of conversations then your friends and family have no reason to judge. Only share important things with the people you know will be there for you. The people that judge you are not worth the time and effort to explain to them something they have little interest in. I learned that very quick.... Cant tell my mother anything! At dinners she is always trying to get the goods out of me.... But if i dont feed the fire.... I dont get burned. Not sure if this will help u... But it sure helps me!

[brainhi]

Thanks wantwhat..... The day went OK. There were a couple times that I wanted to escape.. but hung in there. I'm a pretty outgoing person and good at conversing with others. Hard for me to find a genuine connection.

[Creamsickle]

I'm glad your day went ok. I find it works best to pretend things are fine. People really don't want to know.

[Lostdeepinspace]

I am glad you held it together. I am outgoing too and sometimes it just comes down to being youself and if others don like it... They can bugger off. Probably better that they do as you dont need negativity in your life. Keep the ones around that love you for you and dont bring you down. Try not to be so self conscious of what others think.

[avlady]

Yes i see your point, i once had a friend that told me i think too much and recently have been thinking about that phrase she said. If i let myself think about how bad people treated me in the past, i would be dead. I am so glad i had a great Thanksgiving, there were some difficult times between in laws who didn't show up at each others dinners but luckily we went to 2 of our in laws dinners and didn't have to get in any quarrels. I am so happy i had a great time as i was so scared as i get all flustered when i converse but i think people now understand finally my problem. I hope everyone here has nice and fun holidays despite their illnesses or problems.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by Creamsickle

I'm glad your day went ok. I find it works best to pretend things are fine. People really don't want to know.

"People cannot handle the TRUTH" - in my best Jack Nicholson voice - lol

If I could give anyone advice as to "what to do or say" when conversing with those that have been struggling.. just listen and let them know you care and let them know your hope is that the pain passes quickly.