[CrazyGirl6371]

So, we've finally figured out my perfect medicine combination, and I'm pretty stable. One problem. Nights.
I hate nights. I'm single, now, and - although I'm okay with it - I cannot stand nights. I get so cold and lonely and sad. I hate, HATE it. I hate sleeping alone. I miss cuddling. I don't know how to cope with such feelings of loneliness. I mean, I cry myself to sleep. The only way I get to sleep is by thinking of my best friend - who I'm in love with. Freaking awesome. I love him, and I want to sleep with him, again (LITERALLY, sleep, NOT the other kind of "sleep with"...). He doesn't know that I love him. I think it's best that way.
But I hate nights. I hate the dark. I hate the cold. I hate the loneliness. I hate not being held. I hate not having someone to hold. I hate not being able to cuddle. I hate not being able to talk. I hate this.
Yeah, this is pretty much a rant thing, and it's so freaking depressing that I may have to put a trigger icon on it, but I have to get this out.
I tried chat rooms, but everyone's so light-hearted in there tonight, and I don't need to bring them down with my depressing thoughts. I just want to cry. It's horrible. I just... I don't know what else to say.
I just hate being alone.
I hate this. So much.
So, here's to strength and comfort for all of you out there sleeping alone, too!

[eskielover]

Ah, you should have been in the bad marriage I was in...for the last 13 years that I was living in the same house, I was living in my own bedroom. When it's your choice to leave because of the damage they have done to you....it makes it a lot easier to LOVE sleeping by yourself...

But if you do enjoy cuddling.....I would suggest getting a dog or a cat. I have a dog that loves to curl up right next to my back.......& in the morning she puts her paw on my face to make sure she gets her morning loving.........honestly....for me, my dogs are the best partners I ever had & I would share my bed with a dog long before I EVER would share it with a man again.....a dog would hurt you emotionally like a man is capable of doing.....their loving is totally unconditional.

[Crazy Hitch]

[CrazyGirl6371]

I have a dog. A little chihuahua mix. He likes to sleep with me, but he has fleas. Lol. And I'm kind of afraid I'll roll over on him and crush him. You don't have to worry about that with a man. Lol. I have a cat, too, but he's become kind of feral. :/ Like a man. All of these stupid feral men who only want one thing. And that one thing is not cuddling. -_-

[Chickpea321]

I just got divorced last Friday and I relate to you on so many levels. I can't usually sleep at night, and that's when it's loneliest. He was also my best friend - before we started dating and our subsequent marriage - but I lost him. I'm still in love with him, but he says he's in love with someone else and doesn't think we can be friends again until I'm "not in love with [him] anymore". Since he'd been my main support, it makes life lonelier than I thought anyone could believe. It is a comfy feeling to just cuddle with someone, to hear them breathing next to you, to feel their warmth. I don't know if I've been much help, but I do completely understand. It's a lonely place in this world.

[Canadian sasquatch]

I am a man that loves to cuddle before my wife stopped sleeping in the bed with me we would cuddle and hold each other. There were alot of times in the night I would reach out for her just to feel the security of someone else there since I have put on weight my wife is afraid to sleep in the bed. She is a smaller female and I weigh over 320 lbs and am natural large and flop around trying to get comfortable since she stopped snuggling....I can hardly get her to hold my hand anymore. ..I know the loneliness that you feel dogs help cause most of them are not much smaller than another person in the bed

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by CrazyGirl6371

I have a dog. A little chihuahua mix. He likes to sleep with me, but he has fleas. Lol. And I'm kind of afraid I'll roll over on him and crush him. You don't have to worry about that with a man. Lol. I have a cat, too, but he's become kind of feral. :/ Like a man. All of these stupid feral men who only want one thing. And that one thing is not cuddling. -_-

comfortis pills are the best flea prevention treatment. I think they can even kill fleas, but I am not sure. they are sold by prescription from a vet.

I am with Eskie. Enjoy sleeping alone.

I have two cats. They had fleas last year. This is how I learned about comfortis pills. Comfortis pills, unlike topical treatments, are systemic. Plus, if your dog and cat eat comfortis pills (once a month) with their wet food in your presence, you know that the whole pill went in. With topical treatments, there is no guarantee that the whole dose would be absorbed via the skin.

Since you cry yourself to sleep, can you find music that resonates with that vulnerable state of yours? Such music can help you sleep.

[MattBemis]

It's really hard being lonely, especially at night. My advice would be to work on yourself as much as you can. You can learn to love your own company. Just dive into something that distracts you and don't even worry about getting to sleep, it will come naturally. It's harder to do than say, but I've been through the same problems before and this is what worked for me.

[hamster-bamster]

Maybe find the songs you liked as a child on YouTube, make a playlist, and put it on with the screen facing away from you, so that you would get music but not the glare. This would work towards liking your own company, because the songs were enjoyed by YOU!

[CrazyGirl6371]

Those are both great ideas. Thanks! I am coping with it. Sometimes - and I kind of hate to admit this - I go to my ex-fiancé's house, just so he can hold me at night. He still loves me, so he doesn't really mind.

The nighttime sucks! It's funny that I saw this post, crazygirl, because I was literally coming on here to post something about how I get lonely and sad in the evenings when it gets dark out. grrr!!!!! I hate the nighttime too. We should form a club. I hate the night club (and in parenthesis we'll say: but we do like night clubs)

[The Grey Wolf]

I'm sorry about your problems with nights. I have the same problem its why I sleep during the day. I tend the sleep with my arms around pillow pretending its a person. I'm sorry about your friend maybe tell him how you feel? Everyone goes through unrequited love I think Its a constant to me. I hope you feel better sorry I don't have good advice.

[Raindropvampire]

Ok this probably sounds stupid but my cousin CANNOT stand sleeping by herself so she got one of those cuddle buddy pillows that has an arm to drape over you. She swears that it works for her. She also got one of those heartbeat bears so that when she snuggles into the pillow she can hear a heartbeat. Don't know if any of that would be an option for you or not.

Never realized how lucky I am that I like to sleep alone. Other people make me too hot plus with my C-PTSD I can be unpredictable if touched in my sleep.

[CrazyGirl6371]

I wish I knew where a cuddle buddy pillow is around here. That would be amazing! And I like the idea of the "I Hate Nights!" Club! We totally should make one of those.

[Raindropvampire]

I don't know if you ever shop online but I think she got her's at overstock.com or amazon.com.

[The Grey Wolf]

I would join

[kultking]

My husband works nights so I'm alone at night sleeping in a big bed by myself...He just got me this HUGE teddy to sleep with...he "cuddles" me

[CrazyGirl6371]

We should make, like, a night-time chatroom of our own, just to vent about sleeping alone. Lol. I have a body pillow that I usually cuddle. Just not the same as an actual person, though. You know? I may actually look into that cuddle buddy pillow. I think that I've seen them advertised before..

[Canadian sasquatch]

I am alone every night , I love my wife and when she still slept with me I would feel comfortable and be rested but that was ten years ago.....I tell myself that I love having the bed all to myself. ...it is a lie but if you can convince yourself it is the true even just enough to sleep

[CrazyGirl6371]

I imagine that a pillow is a person, and I try hard to remember all of the details, and it helps me sleep...

[hermit28]

I too hate nights, they are sooooo long and empty. I have tried to play games in my head to pass the time and distract myself. I'll pick a letter and just think of words and names and stuff that starts with that letter or rhyming words, sometimes I count fwd or bkwrd by a number til I fall asleep. They don't always work, but it give the brain something else to do. Good luck.

[PennyD]

I'm sorry, I definitely share some similar feelings and I think even if we may not all express such emotions, many of us share them. I would definitely recommend talking to somebody about it. I have trouble sleeping at night as well.

[Fuzzybear]

[CrazyGirl6371]

I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to it, because I know I can have a breakdown in front of him and it be okay... I think I'll request in-patient treatment. I'm having a lot of trouble coping.