Feeling Ready to Give Up...

The past two weeks I've been feeling crappy. Last night was awful, so awful that I had to give in and take a pill. Finally, at like 2:00 in the morning, I was able to get the sleep I needed.
Well, this morning I woke up with a splitting headache, sore throat and a 101.8 temperature!
Although it's gone down now with ibuprofen, and I'm feeling better after some burnt toast and mashed potatoes, I'm just a teeny bit frustrated and sad inside. I know I have a problem with anxiety, and I've been telling myself for weeks it's ineviteble I'm going to get the flu... and here I am, feeling all... weak.
Also note, I'm going off Lamictal, so my question there is could this be a withdrawal affect?
Last night, though, was the biggest problem. I almost cut.Almost. I didn't do it, but it was hard to put it back. After about a year or two of being self-harm free, I just about broke it last night. My psychiatrist told my mom if I was in danger of self-harm or anything she had to call (but call who?), but obviously I'm not going to tell my mom that. I don't want to cut, but the feeling of loss is just too much.
Rant over... sorry.
Also, thanks for all support that's been given to me from you guys, and answers and stuff. I appreciate it.

i dont think it is withdrawal, it is the flu. your mom is supposed to call your pdoc is you have these overwhelming feelings. i hope you can trust her enough to tell. i understand the overwhelming need to cut even though it has been such a long time. it has been over eight years for me and the urge still comes on every now and then. distraction is the key. just get lost in something else. i hope you get to feeling better soon.