How?

How do you feel? How can you let it come out? How can you harness and express it? I feel that I can't.

Hi CyborgGirl001

This is a very good question to ask.

Sometimes I feel this way too at times. The word I use to describe it is "flat" as I haven't thought of a better word for it.

I do receive external support for this.

I am wondering if you see anyone for support when you feel this way?

I have spoke with someone about it but it does not seem to change. It is persistent.

You obviously feel otherwise you wouldn't have this question. Know what I mean?

Do you find yourself putting up a wall of indifference whenever you interact with someone? If this is your standard behavior it may seem like you are just being you. Sort of like a critical voice, it becomes so entwined with your personality, that actually can no longer differentiate.

I feel like when I interact with someone it is as if they are not discernible or that I can not understand them at all. It is confusing. I feel empty and cold, as for indifference I am not sure at all.

Has this always been the case?

I often feel empty inside, distant, indifferent, and cold, even with family. For me it is a defensive behavior. I care but my fear comes first.

Yes. It isn't a defensive behavior for me, it is an ongoing behavior that has held ground for so many years. I think it must be how I function in my mind.

Have you seen a therapist to address these concerns?

Yes. But it does not seem to subside or go away.

Not asking you to share....

Did the t offer a diagnosis? Do you disagree with it?

Yes. Major depression. I do not disagree.

Have you tried visiting & posting within PC's Depression - Forums at Psych Central forum? If not, you may want to try checking it out.

Some of the posts can be triggering, but most members are very good about warning other PC members with those types of threads. Many of us do have personal experience with depression. Some have good tips to keep you going, as well as ideas of when it's necessary to reach out for serious help. You are not alone.

I have posted there. I will try to post more or read some success story posts.
Thank you for the hug.

I have read some of your other posts.

Do you like animals? Even if you don't they create an opportunity to connect.

Feeding ducks, so when a kid comes over offer some bread to them (ask parent first). Enjoy the experience.

An older person who maybe has trouble walking their pet. Offer to take it on a quick run around while they rest on a bench.

Volunteer for a cause you admire. Working with people who share the same passion my open the opportunity to trust and then care.

Its a huge change you are going for and I think your courage in opening to us is inspiring.

Thank you. I have not done any of those things, and I am honestly too afraid or feel I cannot do them. I will start with animals first. I cannot volunteer, it just is not a part of me. I cannot be that social. But I could help from afar with donations in the future.