[xzabitor]

I am having issues controlling my anger.

I have this type of anger where if you get me angry you'll most likely get hospitalized or killed as a result and I don't know how to tame it.

Everything lately is pissing me off. I've spent the last two years of my life scrubbing dishes for a living while the rest of society plays with their genitalia and twittles their thumbs on their newest smart phones or devices. Spoiled plutocrats.

Recently someone in my class won a local competition that others say doesn't mean much, but to me it meant everything. I put 400% more work into that competition than the other people. When the other person won I took their work and sent it to everyone in my class and directly attacked the settlement in their failures to recognize true hard work over someone taking short cuts.

Now my work is trying to have me stay later at night because "I live right down the road," when I have a life of my own! **** them! I'm so sick and tired of society to the point where I want to go out and kill, starting with the person who won that competition by unjust means and then their family.

I've tried not thinking about my loss at that competition but it just keeps coming back to me! And every time it comes back I become even more enraged. I'm not the type of person who can just forget, but I can forgive.

How can I handle this situation and my rage effectively?

[CANDC]

xlzabitor I am sorry you were not recognized for your great effort. You should have been recognized somehow. I wish you had. You deserved that much recognition.

I am also sorry you are so angry. Dealing with anger is never easy. Be very careful about feeding it with inflammatory comments. If you were to post these kind of comments on facebook or your own personal website you might start an investigation. I am almost certain that is not what you want.

If you do not have a therapist, you could try to find one that specializes in anger management.

Anger management is a complicated process just like removing weeds that have infested a garden for a long time. You tear out the plants but the roots send out more shoots. There are many options under a google search, but here is one I found that I have not tried
www.emotionsanonymous.org/

and a forum
http://forums.psychcentral.com/coping-emotions/

Here are some ideas to manage anger posted or blogged here on PC
http://psychcentral.com/search/?Matc...+anger&x=0&y=0

I had to accept that I was not the top of my class. It was not easy. That is part of the growing up process. I have written people in prisons that say the reason they were there is because they could not manage their anger. And they tell me the biggest regret they have is that they didn't reign in their anger before they acted it out and ruined their lives and made other innocent people suffer. That regret is something that eats at them every day. "If I only had stopped myself before..."

Now is a good time to start asking yourself what you can do today to reign in your emotions.

[BLUEDOVE]

You're looking for praise/approval/etc.,OUTSIDE
yourself,you need to feel good about yourself,and to
do that you need some self-esteem---note it is called
SELF-esteem,not OTHER-esteem.It has to come
from the inside. Please invest in dear self,and get
some books on self-esteem,by the acknowledged
master on subject,Nathaniel Branden. I highly
recommend "Honoring The Self," and "The Six
Pillars Of Self-Esteem". Trust me,when you feel
better about self,the anger will lessen,maybe not
completely,but a lot better than now.

[monkeybrains21]

Xzabitor I know exactly how u feel. I didn't come from money and I had to work everyday since I was 8. No one cared how hard it was or how there was no happiness in my life. I got in a lot of fights and was always on edge. I still am at times cuz ppl r just stupid and ignorant and selfish. They have zero common sense. I started therapy 3yrs ago cuz of this and other really bad stuff in my past. Therapy wasn't all that helpful on it's own. It just have me the ability to fume to T in a safe environment.

Now when I started meds that with T started helping most. I still get really angry but I get over it a hell of a lot faster. My anger stems from my anxiety and depression or so I'm told. Pdoc and T have mentioned bipolar and BPD but have yet to completely diagnose me as such.

[xzabitor]

Originally Posted by CANDC

xlzabitor I am sorry you were not recognized for your great effort. You should have been recognized somehow. I wish you had. You deserved that much recognition.

I am also sorry you are so angry. Dealing with anger is never easy. Be very careful about feeding it with inflammatory comments. If you were to post these kind of comments on facebook or your own personal website you might start an investigation. I am almost certain that is not what you want.

If you do not have a therapist, you could try to find one that specializes in anger management.

Anger management is a complicated process just like removing weeds that have infested a garden for a long time. You tear out the plants but the roots send out more shoots. There are many options under a google search, but here is one I found that I have not tried
www.emotionsanonymous.org/

and a forum
Coping with Emotions - Forums at Psych Central

Here are some ideas to manage anger posted or blogged here on PC
Psych Central - Search results for Managing anger

I had to accept that I was not the top of my class. It was not easy. That is part of the growing up process. I have written people in prisons that say the reason they were there is because they could not manage their anger. And they tell me the biggest regret they have is that they didn't reign in their anger before they acted it out and ruined their lives and made other innocent people suffer. That regret is something that eats at them every day. "If I only had stopped myself before..."

Now is a good time to start asking yourself what you can do today to reign in your emotions.

Thanks for the kind response..

I know I should be more cautious in what I post as anywhere else I would of had police knocking at my door.

Truthfully I think the reason I'm so upset is because the work I submitted to the competition was unique, I didn't copy anyone else. Yet they let someone who copied others works win.
And I think an adding factor to this is that I was and still am top of my class, yet didn't win. I had the best grades and most brightest mind out of my whole class yet couldn't win one messily award.

Also I quit my job today.

I'll take a look into some of the links you've posted and see if any of it sticks out to me.

[xzabitor]

Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE

You're looking for praise/approval/etc.,OUTSIDE
yourself,you need to feel good about yourself,and to
do that you need some self-esteem---note it is called
SELF-esteem,not OTHER-esteem.It has to come
from the inside. Please invest in dear self,and get
some books on self-esteem,by the acknowledged
master on subject,Nathaniel Branden. I highly
recommend "Honoring The Self," and "The Six
Pillars Of Self-Esteem". Trust me,when you feel
better about self,the anger will lessen,maybe not
completely,but a lot better than now.

This honestly hurt to read the first time I read it, I didn't quite know how to respond... Maybe you're right. In the reality of things I'm a very independent person and I do take a lot of my own time and invest it into myself. I even go to the gym regularly and spend my free time doing things I enjoy. I just severely hate losing I guess.

[xzabitor]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

Xzabitor I know exactly how u feel. I didn't come from money and I had to work everyday since I was 8. No one cared how hard it was or how there was no happiness in my life. I got in a lot of fights and was always on edge. I still am at times cuz ppl r just stupid and ignorant and selfish. They have zero common sense. I started therapy 3yrs ago cuz of this and other really bad stuff in my past. Therapy wasn't all that helpful on it's own. It just have me the ability to fume to T in a safe environment.

Now when I started meds that with T started helping most. I still get really angry but I get over it a hell of a lot faster. My anger stems from my anxiety and depression or so I'm told. Pdoc and T have mentioned bipolar and BPD but have yet to completely diagnose me as such.

Some people are just so unbearably spoiled they don't even realize it... Most never even seen the hell we had to live through. If they did they'd understand..

I tried therapy too, didn't work for me either..

Would it be worth it go and get diagnosed for medication?

[monkeybrains21]

Originally Posted by xzabitor

Some people are just so unbearably spoiled they don't even realize it... Most never even seen the hell we had to live through. If they did they'd understand..

I tried therapy too, didn't work for me either..

Would it be worth it go and get diagnosed for medication?

U don't need to be diagnosed to get medication. Ur rage affects ur life. There may be an underlying reason to ur anger and for that u need to talk with someone and be honest about it. I was enlightened when my T and Pdoc told me that my anxieties make me extremely irritable. Some ppl when anxious get extremely emotional while others like me get thrown into a rage. The meds calm me quite a bit. I am naturally an extremely hyper person even without coffee.

The meds I think have allowed me to be a bit more open to T. She admits it though after 3yrs I've remained pretty private about anything that isn't superficial. Honestly I just never learned how to express myself in anyway other than anger. On occasion it's sad to admit I throw a tantrum like a toddler. It happens but I'm sure there's probably a reason for it and I have to learn a way to get past it.

Don't get me wrong it's not a cure all. I work very hard in controlling my temper still. I still get extremely angry and fume for days but it's becoming less frequent. It's just a fact of life that we get angry, but as adults we have to learn to cope.