[Keyslost]

Recently I noticed how I read into what people say b/c sometimes I get judged. Most of the time others just want to help so I read too much into it and end up being wrong. I think the problem stems from those .01% of the times when I'm right and so I obsess about it. I wish I could just let it go. I try to look for guidance on how to ignore negative thoughts and focus on me but always end up back in the same place again. How can I show this person I'm trying my best? Why do they think so poorly of me when they don't even know me? But really it should be more like Why do I let these negative things affect me so much? or How can I stop worrying about what everyone thinks about me all the time? Things used to be a lot more simple when I was "on track" and doing what I was supposed to. Now that I struggle those voices seem louder than before.

"Why are you asking for help, you're an adult?"
"Don't make excuses just do it."
And so on.

All I want is for people to see things from my view but that's impossible. I wish things could be like they were and I'm happy again. Thx everyone! I may have more later but I'm pretty drained right now.

[Fuzzybear]

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by Keyslost

Recently I noticed how I read into what people say b/c sometimes I get judged. Most of the time others just want to help so I read too much into it and end up being wrong. I think the problem stems from those .01% of the times when I'm right and so I obsess about it. I wish I could just let it go. I try to look for guidance on how to ignore negative thoughts and focus on me but always end up back in the same place again. How can I show this person I'm trying my best? Why do they think so poorly of me when they don't even know me? But really it should be more like Why do I let these negative things affect me so much? or How can I stop worrying about what everyone thinks about me all the time? Things used to be a lot more simple when I was "on track" and doing what I was supposed to. Now that I struggle those voices seem louder than before.

"Why are you asking for help, you're an adult?"
"Don't make excuses just do it."
And so on.

All I want is for people to see things from my view but that's impossible. I wish things could be like they were and I'm happy again. Thx everyone! I may have more later but I'm pretty drained right now.

Everyone gets to live their life as they choose. Take the good and leave the rest. No one will ever agree 100%.. do not waste your energy on advice that does not fit into your life.. or try to make someone understand that has not walked in your shoes. I know this is hard to do..practice

[Keyslost]

Thx you two! I wish I could shut it off. I'll keep trying

[GandalfTW]

Originally Posted by Keyslost

Thx you two! I wish I could shut it off. I'll keep trying

You will shut it off,everything that happens to you is a growing experience even more so for those of us with mental/emotional problems.

Realize that the opinions of others are of NO IMPORTANCE,don't give the opinions of others the power to belittle you or demean you for their opinions are of no importance what-so-ever.Take control of your life and believe in yourself and you will dominate those that wish to control you.

[AzulOscuro]

I can relate myself in your post.
One thing to consider is who is the person who is judging you. Is (s)he a loved one. In that case, tell him/her that you are being hurt and that you want (s)he stops this behaviour. Consider as well, if this person usually act with you like that. In that case, try to avoid him/her bc (s)he is trying to control you and undermine your self-steem for him/her to feel better.

I know you can be very dissapointed by people so try to avoid the ones who only give you negativity and look for possitive relations.
A good work to better your self-steem could be also necessary. I know people can make you have doubts about yourself, that is why I tell you that the better self-steem you have and the better self-knowledge you have, the better for you to go on your own path.

Good luck!

[Umbral_Seraph]

I know how you feel about that feeling of being judged. My family has always judged everything about me very harshly and vocally, so it's very difficult for me to not feel judged whenever anyone says something to me. I don't know how healthy it is, but I'm pretty numb to that judged feeling and I learned to not care about other's criticisms.

[Voidshadow]

Hm, I know how you feel. My family, mostly my mom, as she's the "alpha" in the house, judge me constantly, and more often than not, right in front of either my siblings, or once in a blue moon depending on the situation, in front of other people, just "because maybe it will teach you not to (reason she looked at me) She being a "high class, well educated person, who was ready to move out on my own by the time I was 15, and your not even where you should be school-wise

Possible trigger:

(which btw, is because things haven't gone smoothly, and I homeschool, which is difficult if your teacher constantly finds ways to be upset with you)

so your not going to be ready, blah blah blah."
Sigh. So I kept mostly to myself, still am, but now that I found this site, I can release, even if it's a little, it helps, a lot. I hope you can one day find happiness, Keylost.

[avlady]

i hate being judged too i think anybody would. it happens alot and you have to just ignore it, it isn't yourself its them. they have the problem if they can't accept you for who you are. its their loss not yours.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by avlady

i hate being judged too i think anybody would. it happens alot and you have to just ignore it, it isn't yourself its them. they have the problem if they can't accept you for who you are. its their loss not yours.

And we can't dismiss the idea that noone is perfect and that everybody has the right to see the things and live in his/her way.

[Voidshadow]

Re:

Possible trigger:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

And we can't dismiss the idea that noone is perfect and that everybody has the right to see the things and live in his/her way.

Yea, wish I convince a few people of that. (And those particular people I can't walk away from, and have to keep dealing with them saying that they are much better than me, and I have to stop talking/distracting them/annoying them/fit the program.
Well I'm sorry, I am unique, and if I have a bit of it showing, it doesn't kill everyone. It may attract attention sometimes, but that's just what you'd experienced, not me.

[AzulOscuro]

In that case, it's worse if you have to be close to these people. The things would be tell them how you want to be treated, do it in the same way with them and set boundaries. I'm very bad at setting bounderies.

Ah, wait. There is another way, don't take them seriously and avoid taking their remarks as personal but I have to confess that I take very bad criticisms.
In the case of my father, I don't take it personal bc I know how he is with everyone. So, I sometimes laugh with him about how controller he tries to be.

[Keyslost]

Thx everyone! I'm trying to ignore negative criticism. The weird thing is not that long ago it didn't bother me cus I didn't care. Maybe when I'm on my own again that will change? I think I hear my fam when they were negative in the other person which is why it gets to me (not everything does). Also I recently put this into practice and did not "feed" into someone putting me down though I still want to be able to open up so I'm still not sure what to think of all this? All that being said thx everyone!

[Voidshadow]

Possible trigger:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

In that case, it's worse if you have to be close to these people. The things would be tell them how you want to be treated, do it in the same way with them and set boundaries. I'm very bad at setting bounderies.

Ah, wait. There is another way, don't take them seriously and avoid taking their remarks as personal but I have to confess that I take very bad criticisms.
In the case of my father, I don't take it personal bc I know how he is with everyone. So, I sometimes laugh with him about how controller he tries to be.

Yea.., about that. That's a part of the reason why my older brother moved out so quickly when he could, even tho my mom thinks it's mostly because of bad behaviour on my and my other siblings part (which my older brother says it was partly, but the former reason was the largest reason) But the person I have to deal with being my mom, and occasionally my dad, (him very rarely tho, as there isn't enough interaction to induce that type of thing, especially since he isn't the "alpha") So it's not like I can ignore her, except for letting the tide break over me, and then sorting out my personal emotional stuff privately. Had a saying from my older brother “Don't let your negative emotions show, and cry yourself to sleep.” He had to follow this for a part of his childhood, (don't know which parts, and not gonna ask, he was with my mom before she met my dad, soo...) It's just so frustrating that I lack the ability to do much, and that my life is being twiddled away because of it.
That's kinda another reason why I wish to find someone. http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ng-myself.html

Anyways, your welcome Keylost, I'm glad we could help you, just let us know if anything comes up! #stayhappy