[Steiner of Thule]

It's just- I feel like I undermine myself everytime. I am alone. What is the point in being alive. I feel like I am physically falling apart, I have a hard time breathing and it makes being alive uncomfortable. Things would be easier if I died. This constant suffocating feel emotionally and physically. I AM ALONE AND DYING. I AM DYING. DAMN IT ALL.

My world is so cold and gray, I try to push forward but for what- I don't know. My situation won't change no matter what. I work out and eat healthy and then fate decides to start giving me chest problems and breathing issues so that nothing changes. I can't talk to anyone and my life is still as gray and dim as always. It gets worse everyday.

[avlady]

i am sorry you feel so bad. could you find a hobbie or something like some type of sport team or anything to get you with people? Maybe your not interested but you should give it a try i feel so bad for you because i feel like you do alot and find it hard myself to take my own advice, good luck

[PianogirlPlays]

I know how you feel about putting forth a lot of effort and not always getting to the place and relationships you want. It hurts. It is hard to see the good sometimes that happens in a day. It seems though that even though I am struggling there is something in each day.. I did see my grand kids today and it went well. It is painfully not good at the moment because my daughter and our relationship hurts . It is hard but please keep trying.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by avlady

i am sorry you feel so bad. could you find a hobbie or something like some type of sport team or anything to get you with people? Maybe your not interested but you should give it a try i feel so bad for you because i feel like you do alot and find it hard myself to take my own advice, good luck

I feel nonexistent atm. Uncontrollable trembling. It feels weird and desolate. Everything isn't real. All I've done today is read and study through my textbooks. There is no way for me to get with people. Nothing I can do. Everytime I try, I get rejected. Always rejected. It's actually physically hard for me to type today cause of the shaking. Don't know why I am shaking.

[Steiner of Thule]

Why is it that I feel already dead. It's all so empty and plain. I feel like I've lost myself. Should I stop these meds perhaps. I feel sick. It's a fog.I want to go back in time where things were normal.I was more anxious then but at least I still felt like me. This deaf feeling in my head is suffocating.

[Killian Hook]

All I can give you is lots of empathy today, Steiner.

I feel the same way myself.

[gayleggg]

(((((Steiner))))) I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I wish I had a solution for you. I believe there is hope. I know I've lost hope before only to find things got better. I hope this happens for you.



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[vessah valley]

I wish I had the magic pebble or pill. I would have taken it all by now. I do understand your feeling of despair and emptiness. What is it ? Why do we feel this way? I've tried " the possitive." and the we create our own reality philosophy which makes sense and it gives us our power back. But it's not working this time. So why? Our we punishing ourselves? Because this is the most intense, deep pain I have ever felt.
I have no reason to I'm not homeless or hungry or cold. Why can't I appreciate what I do have? To everyone that feels this way. I am truly sorry because it hurts so bad. If there is anything I can do for any of you please message me. I will listen and maybe, just maybe I can help you which will help me. Love & understanding.
Vessah

[Steiner of Thule]

I've come to the conclusion that I will have to stop taking my anti-psychotic aka Geodon due to that I probably have a heart rhythm disorder or something. I wasn't aware but I am connecting the dots and that is the conclusion I came up with. It's why I keep feeling like I am dying and can't breathe.

I feel like i'll stop taking anti-psychotics altogether and see how I do.

[Travelinglady]

(((Steiner))) I know meds can affect how we feel. I hope you talk to your doc about any changes you make. Withdrawal can be terrible without tapering.

Any new anime stuff you can enjoy?

[divine1966]

So sorry. Does being outside help? Breathing fresh air? Walking? Sun tanning a bit?

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[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

(((Steiner))) I know meds can affect how we feel. I hope you talk to your doc about any changes you make. Withdrawal can be terrible without tapering.

Any new anime stuff you can enjoy?

I'm just watching old anime stuff if anything but lately I've been trying to study my stuff.

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by divine1966

So sorry. Does being outside help? Breathing fresh air? Walking? Sun tanning a bit?

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Nah nothing helps. I tried an inhaler, head in freezer, anti allergies stuff, it's none of those. I walk but it's like I'm suffocating. I end up just flopping about trying to find positions to get air in. I've been drinking whiskey here and there as a sleep aid.