And I'm just here

I view the world and people in a very strange way. I feel like it would be beneficial to say something to some form of public.
I am constantly in extremely deep thought about everything horrible people do to each other and ourselves. I feel ashamed to be called human, because it almost coneys something negative with the word. I do not understand why people can't just talk, it's all so fake, we talk about things we distract ourselves with like tv, hobbies, and general daily life activities. It seems to never go any deeper. I don't understand people. Aggression seems to be a desired attribute. Many cannot just tolerate each other, and cause harm to each other knowing that more aggression will only produce even more. I am not afraid, but I am worried and very disappointed in the way humans have decided to evolve as a culture. The system is based on a system of exchange, but it is twisted so as to take advantage of the masses. The entire system is broken with inequality, but the masses do not truly have a voice to fight it, because we are distracted by everything else.

I have been stuck on this mindset for 5 years now, and I think about it more and more as I continue. I am amazed at how intelligent we are, but so stupid in the things that truly matter. People think I'm crazy, and I agree with them, because I am the minority. Tolerance. Communication. Understanding. Accepting. It's so easy. ****.

I cannot stress how deeply stuck I am in this infinite loop. Ignorance is bliss.

I found it easier on my psyche to look at individuals rather than generalizing the collective human race. Gives me glimmers of hope and peace of mind.

I agree with you when you look at the news, etc. But definitely try to judge people as individuals. Sure, though when you look at human history, there is alot of pain, suffering and blood. But there are also great things. Same as the world we live in now. There is alot of pain and blood but equally there is alot of hope, kindness and love.

A system of exchange is a class system. We are subservient to a ruling class. We have to work for others for a living and get paid in money. That always lead to the problems you post about. A Tribeal Culture living off their immediate environment, is how we should live. That is how the Human Race is ment to live.

Corruption has existed in humans once we established a societal based culture, and it likely always will to some degree. This corruption was worse 100 years ago, though. Much worse. What we contend with now actually has defenses and tools to help the oppressed. We are better off, which isn't to devalue the struggles of people now. It's to acknowledge that things have improved and we should appreciate that.

I think there are two types of positive individuals, just by my observation in life.

1. People who have never lived through much hardship or don't acknowledge hardship.

2. People who have OVERCOME hardship and have grown because of it.

And the human brain is hard wired with a preference for negative things, because of the way we evolved as a species. We had to be aware of threats and danger every minute of the day. Physically, we wouldn't have survived without our intelligence. There are things that are much, much stronger and faster that would have destroyed us.

What's right or wrong? I don't think we'll ever know. Our tribal culture existed during a primitive time in our emotional and cognitive development. Given the intellectual average of human beings today, it would likely not translate well.

One thing that I should mention is that human beings are inherently conceited, all of us on here included. The point I make is to minimize that for myself as much as I can. I have suffered in life, but there are countless others who have it worse off. I focus on my betterment, so I can help those in the same places.

Foreget the Flintstone - Jetson myth. So called "primitive" people were quite smart. Just as smart as we are today!

The primitives must have been smart as we are here still because of them!!

"2. People who have OVERCOME hardship and have grown because of it."
... that is me and I am getting tired of it lol.

I FINALLY found a job that I have a whole lot of passion for - I'm a contractor which I like. It has brought much meaning to my life. We help families that struggle with "brain" issues........I have a great deal of empathy for these families and I have seen changes to these families for the better.

Or I can get very cynical about life in general...

The downside.......
The money is not good at all!!!!
That is suppose to change w/an investor coming aboard soon.....
not sure how much longer I can hold on.

I get to something good for others and myself but the money is not there -

I had to learn to stop being so expansive with my thoughts. I used to put things from point A to point Z, and got overwhelming because I didn't know to fill in the gaps.

I've restricted my thoughts to the immediate and maybe a step ahead, and it's made things easier for me. Baby steps. In time, working with what you have here and now, you can make small steps to getting where you want to be.

I will try not to make this all about me.... My fear is that I finally have something that I love for many reasons... I worry at times that if I do not have something in my life that I have such a heart for I'm not sure how long I can take it. I do not have children or significant my relatives are not close or caring... I will work until I die if I am doing something that is purposeful for me. It's been a long journey and how many times in a lifetime do we get to really do something so important? Sorry for the rant.

I understand how you feel. It's an awful feeling, but things improve. I put that task on myself and haven't stopped looking. I don't believe it will fall out of the sky, because I don't believe in fate or miracles. You can find it, too.