[iwonderaboutstuff]

Really hating on myself. So frustrated with my seeming inability to achieve goals. I'm not even talking big stuff, even breaking in down. Simple s*** Focus and discipline so elusive for far too long. I don't know how to change. I'm better than this. I can do so much more. How does one achieve self discipline???

Self-discipline is rooted in avoiding situations which will stop you from achieving your long-term goals. People with high self-discipline have the same amount of self-control as people with low self-discipline. However, people with high self-discipline avoid situations that will derail their long-term goals. For example, an alcoholic with high self-discipline does not go to bars.

1) decide what your long-term goals are; 2) avoid people, places, and things that will derail you from achieving your long-term goals.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

I have yet to figure out how to get away from myself

[amity]

Love yourself and be kind to yourself as you would be to a dear person.This seems to be a bad phase for you but it does not mean things cannot improve.
Try these tips:--
JEETE RAHO: Fighting # Failure

[Frankbtl]

Hi iwonderaboutstuff,

If it's kind of a set pattern I'd say that maybe you need to start real small. So let's forget a bit about the list of smaller things you aren't achieving, maybe just pick one of those small things each day (?) to focus on achieving.
Maybe pick a time of the day you feel you're most likely to achieve that e.g. when your "energy" levels are up and throw all your focus into that. And doesn't matter if there's other smaller stuff you haven't done...........you're hopefully going to have an achievement.
And you know give yourself massive credit for that, you are going to have deserved it.
And no "beating yourself up" if you don't manage it another day, that you don't deserve.
If you skip a day, that's OK, let's more focus on trying to up the ratio of days you manage to do something from the days you don't.

And the things you're focusing on doing........well are they actually meaningful to you?? Maybe worth looking at prioritising what you want to do, a little more than others??
And as for the slightly bigger goals maybe you can break them down into steps??
And where possible try not to put time restraints on them e.g. giving yourself plenty of time/as much time as you need to manage to accomplish steps.

And like kindness said maybe look at things holding you back..........and self hate can be a big thing there when you don't actually deserve it, but maybe as well things like low self-esteem, putting too many expectations on yourself, depression, how you process other people's feedback/opinions..........maybe things like that???
And if any of those things are issues then perhaps it might help focusing on them/trying to work through them??

And this may head nowhere but...........the lack of focus, maybe lack of motivation or energy to do things............I don't know if you need think about things like lifesyle/diet/what you're drinking e.g. caffeine related/exercise that kind of thing.........just sometimes those kind of things can have an influence............or even maybe consider getting a medical???
Like I said may head nowhere, but just a thought.



Alison

[rosejost]

According to me being positive and thinking positive is the best way. Plan and execute every aim of yours and drift yourself away from negative people and thoughts.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

Yes, need better self talk, too cruel.

Yes, pick one thing, celebrate doing it; repeat.
All goals contribute to improved well being in the various areas of life, so worthy. I do run into problems sometimes when they're in conflict because without self-discipline what supersedes the other by default is not necessarily in my long-term self interest.
I get my root issues and how they've driven me. Not sure they're relevant, as I can only go from where I am.
Yes, better food and more exercise will help. I need a new GP. Haven't had a physical since I don't know when, if ever. Only time I go to doc is when needed, for something specific, so it's only about that.

Yes, positive thinking, plan and execution is the best way. Can't seem to get the upward spiral going. Trouble breaking the pattern.

[Fuzzybear]

[iwonderaboutstuff]

Feeling worse today. Spent some time in my mind exploring a few things to see if that was affecting me currently. Mostly it seemed self indulgent, and some of it just left me feeling really bummed.

In the end, I was left with thinking that if I can live my current life part-time and find something new to be excited and passionate about, that would be good. Then I come back to motivation doesn't matter when you've got self-discipline. So there I am again. How do I make myself do stuff anyway? I've considered a reward system. Haven't hit on one I think would work yet. Most of the rewards I want are in conflict with something else. Really, I just want to run away. Start a new life. It sucks that I'm a grown-up and have to consider others.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by iwonderaboutstuff

Really hating on myself. So frustrated with my seeming inability to achieve goals. I'm not even talking big stuff, even breaking in down. Simple s*** Focus and discipline so elusive for far too long. I don't know how to change. I'm better than this. I can do so much more. How does one achieve self discipline???

Please stop hating yourself. Your inability to focus may have a physical cause. I find it difficult to focus when my depression is bad. Or when I am anxious. Or when I have not had enough sleep. I take a prescription that when I am sitting in the heat, there is no way I can think clearly. Your first step is to engage your physician and your therapist, if you have one, in identifying what is contributing to your difficulty in focus.

Then, you might also be doing this (I used to do this) Freaking out over how very much there is to do (or that you want to do). Keep in mind that the fastest computer does only one thing at a time. So whatever it is you want to do; do the first step. If you have 20 things to do, you are still going to start by doing the first step of just one of them.

I am an overly ambitious person who always has a lot of irons in the fire. I am frequently in freak-out mode because everything always needs to be done yesterday…(I'm exaggerating here a bit). I get overwhelmed..

But I get things done by doing the first step. Then the next. And so on. And I allow myself time to have a meal, or to get sleep--because those things are natural and necessary. You can do this. First step: call your doctor. Courage!