apathy

im feeling apathetic for years now and im losing my friends with it. i don't know what to do, im sitting here, isolating myself from the world, and basically have no motivation to achieve anything. and i don't want that to happen to me. but i don't know why i should either. somehow it seems like, i don't have any addition to the world. neither if i "achieve stuff" there are so many people, and they can live without one more.

im a basically "the world sucks" sort of person so i dont get involved. i live in my own little bubble. ive got the whole i dont exist in the world thing down pat and pretty much could go on existing that way and be fine with it but.....do i really want to live that way??????

my motivation for change sways from about 3-5 based on how bad my agoraphobia/anxiety is but my motivation for improved mental health is much higher and part of that is a support system which means friends. so i work on getting out and doing something once a week. if i make it, i make it, if i dont, i dont, but i make an honest attempt to do so. i have two friends i made on here that i message with via phone at least three times a week having "real" conversations so i am not just completely isolated constantly.

as for acheiving anything. i had to build my selfesteem to have the motivation for that to become important. that took a few years of really becoming conscious of my thoughts and beliefs of how i put myself down. i had to focus on my strenghts and begin acknowledging and believing in them, working from that perspective and doing things i enjoyed and make me feel good and then i finally felt like i was contributing to the world. you dont have to move mountains. just doing something to put a smile on someones face is enough. volunteering is a good way to do this. the more you do it, the better you feel.

Same here. I stay to myself only engaging others when it is beneficial and I have no more than a couple of friends that understand me.

I don't want to hurt anybody I simply don't care about most people or the world in general.

I've been betrayed and screwed over by too many people to be able to trust people and I think that anybody would screw me over when it suits them.

In short, I don't know how to give you advice on this matter because I struggle with it as well but I want you to know that you aren't alone