[smartiesparty]

i was in the waiting room to my GP when the mother of a former schoolfriend entered the same waiting room and i knew she'd ask about my life (in a mean and condescending way, she's always been quite mean)
so i hid my face and when she took off her coat in the other room, i exited the building without even getting to talk to my doctor and settling things about my health issues
i am so upset that i just can't face other people asking about my life because of what my life has become (rejected by colleges, barely work, depression and personality disorder, anxiety, physical issues) and i have to pay 40 for nothing + have to make another appointment
i feel such shame to exist, i want to disappear

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

i was in the waiting room to my GP when the mother of a former schoolfriend entered the same waiting room and i knew she'd ask about my life (in a mean and condescending way, she's always been quite mean)
so i hid my face and when she took off her coat in the other room, i exited the building without even getting to talk to my doctor and settling things about my health issues
i am so upset that i just can't face other people asking about my life because of what my life has become (rejected by colleges, barely work, depression and personality disorder, anxiety, physical issues) and i have to pay 40 for nothing + have to make another appointment
i feel such shame to exist, i want to disappear

Sorry to read you feel like this smartiesparty, I can understand why you would want to get away from someone who might ask personal questions you don't want to answer. It sounds like you dealt with the situation in the way you felt you could at that time although it's left you money down and without your appointment which you needed.

Maybe it might be helpful to develop a strategy for situations like these in future so you don't feel like you have to leave a place, a strategy that you feel comfortable with for dealing with unwanted questions.

Some things you could have ready to say:

"I'm fine thanks, taking a break right now/planning what my next move is" Then swiftly shut that avenue down by moving on to something else, most people like to talk about themselves/their family so that could be a good distraction.

Another strategy could be to say "Sorry I'm not being rude but I'm feeling sick/got headache today so if you don't mind I'd rather sit quietly."

That's just an example, choose something which feels comfortable to you to say, rehearse it in your mind to have ready if it helps.

You can't control nosy/rude people but you can control your reaction to them - it might take a little practice but it can be done.

[cloudsurfer]

I go throw a similar thing too. For me, I just dont know how to respond to people queires without a tone of dread and defeat. In some way I feel ashamed and responsible for my mood disorder and personality conflicts. No matter how much you convince I am not the cause of my mental health problems I still feel responsible and ashamed.

It could be the secondary emotions I feel about my mental health issues. So, on top of the health themselves there are emotions about them. I see me (my identity) as the problem.

I am working with a therapist to confront the avoidance issues I have with people. I really am a loner, but it wasnt by nature it was a product of my illness. Maybe you too (if you have the funds) can see a professional to help you cope better.There should be no shame in having a health issues, especially if you are actively treating them.

[*Laurie*]

Oh hun...I am so sorry you had to go through such a thing.

[avlady]

i am also sorry you went through this. just think although what was this person doing at the docs office too?

I too am sick of explaining my story: why did I leave Calgary? why don't I work? why? why? why? Well, I don't go into detail. I just say I've been ill If they ask about that, I just say it's stress related. That usually shuts them up. There are some that are more nosy, they actually ask if I have cancer, did I injur myself, what horrible disease do I have. I just say the same answer; I'm taking time off for stress.

what ever they ask, I am sure to control the conversation by giving answers I'm prepared to give and not lower myself to their rudeness

[divine1966]

If they want to be rude like this then prepare some bizarre answers to shut them up. Why don't I work? I am independently wealthy. Why aren't you buying a house? I am renting because I want to be flexible as I want to move overseas in next few years. Why do you work two jobs? Because I want to save for around the world trip. Why aren't you married? I have three lovers can't choose which one to marry. Etc etc

I have people asking where I am from a lot which is rude as I never ask people unless close friends. My daughter has fun with it making up stuff like saying different countries every time and some like hard to believe she is from there. They then ask follow up questions and she keeps answering crazy stuff

It's exhausting answering questions.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[smartiesparty]

Thank you everyone, i feel slightly better since yesterday but i must admit that i spent a lot of time of the day thinking about it.

Originally Posted by divine1966

If they want to be rude like this then prepare some bizarre answers to shut them up. Why don't I work? I am independently wealthy. Why aren't you buying a house? I am renting because I want to be flexible as I want to move overseas in next few years. Why do you work two jobs? Because I want to save for around the world trip. Why aren't you married? I have three lovers can't choose which one to marry. Etc etc

I have people asking where I am from a lot which is rude as I never ask people unless close friends. My daughter has fun with it making up stuff like saying different countries every time and some like hard to believe she is from there. They then ask follow up questions and she keeps answering crazy stuff

It's exhausting answering questions.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

thank you divine1966, i think i will follow this advice in particular. a lot of people who don't understand my troubles and issues are very mean to me and judgemental. i'll stick to giving bizarre answers as you call them, so that will maybe 'shut them up'.

[Thunder Bow]

People who ask one a bunch of silly questions, are just trying to control that person. It is all about control.

[vital]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

i was in the waiting room to my GP when the mother of a former schoolfriend entered the same waiting room and i knew she'd ask about my life (in a mean and condescending way, she's always been quite mean)
so i hid my face and when she took off her coat in the other room, i exited the building without even getting to talk to my doctor and settling things about my health issues
i am so upset that i just can't face other people asking about my life because of what my life has become (rejected by colleges, barely work, depression and personality disorder, anxiety, physical issues) and i have to pay 40 for nothing + have to make another appointment
i feel such shame to exist, i want to disappear

I don't think that you have anything to be ashamed about. You took action to avoid a stressful situation and protect yourself. It's not "normal social behavior" that many won't understand, but screw them. You should keep yourself as your top priority!

- vital

Originally Posted by rcat

I too am sick of explaining my story: why did I leave Calgary? why don't I work? why? why? why? Well, I don't go into detail. I just say I've been ill If they ask about that, I just say it's stress related. That usually shuts them up. There are some that are more nosy, they actually ask if I have cancer, did I injur myself, what horrible disease do I have. I just say the same answer; I'm taking time off for stress.

what ever they ask, I am sure to control the conversation by giving answers I'm prepared to give and not lower myself to their rudeness

This exactly. Hopefully, they are socially aware enough not to pry. Just smile and say "I have an illness". Usually shuts them up. Any further inquiries can be met with "Oh, thank you for your concern. How are you doing?".

It's honest, direct and short.

[Fuzzybear]