In love with two people at once?

I've got some feelings that I've been dealing with for a while that have me really confused. I love my wife with all my heart, but I have a friend that I also have strong feelings for. She moved almost 6 months ago but I still constantly think about her.

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? I'm honestly confused by what I've been feeling.

Why wouldn't you think of her? It seems logical that you would, given the fact that she's your friend and has moved away.

I just know that there is nothing that will or can ever happen between us, but that thought is constantly there. I would have thought after almost half a year those feelings would have at least subsided a little.

Oh, do you think of her in a romantic way? If that is the case, perhaps you feel that sort of affection for her because you two get along well? I'm assuming, because you refer to her as a "friend" you've quite a bit in common and enjoy each other's company. Do you think you are getting these two "loves"-the love between two friends and the love between lovers-confused?

And this is why I'm so confused. I do love her as a friend but it feels like it's deeper than that. I get jealous when I see people that I know she used to date. We really don't have a whole lot in common, we just sort of "clicked".

Edit: Also, I'm 15 years older than her.

Do you love your wife?

I think the more important question you need to ask yourself is what you intend to do about these feelings? Are they strong enough that you may be tempted to act upon them with the other woman?

I have loved peoole more than my thrb bf/fiancee . I think it is normal to. As long as there is certain boundaries in agreement

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I believe that it is okay to be "in love" with two people at the same time.
What you do about that, is totally your decision.

I do love my wife.

Nothing will happen between me and her because she lives almost 1000 miles away. Even if she did live here, I would stop anything before it happened. I think she would too, because she has been cheated on before.

The main thing is, how do I get over these feelings? I will always love her as a friend.

Yes you can love two people at once. Not sure why you feel a need to "get over it."

You say "nothing will or can ever happen between us, but that thought is constantly there." We fantasize about others sometimes and maybe she's a "safe" person for you to think that way about because you know nothing will happen.

I guess I say "get over it" so I can stop thinking about her all the time.

I'm seriously wondering if I should tell her. Due to some things that happened a few months ago (don't really want to get into it right now), we don't talk like we used to and things are a little awkward. She has a boyfriend and I don't want to screw anything up on either end, so I don't know if I should tell her or not.

You just have to accept the new dynamic. Will you be keeping in touch? If not that may make it easier for you to put your feelings to rest.

Perhaps talking about these feelings with either your wife or your friend would be beneficial. That way, you and the other involved can talk out all of your complex emotions and you no longer have to feel guilty-if you do-over experiencing them.
This might be the sort of thing people get upset about, so I suppose if you think your wife would be upset by this, it would be best to disregard this advice.

We do exchange "how are you doings" every couple of weeks.

It's definitely not something I can talk about with my wife. I'm hesitant to talk about it with my friend because our friendship is already hanging by a thread. I don't want it to be the straw that breaks the camels back.

We talked quite a bit yesterday and I almost told her how I feel, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'm pretty sure she wouldn't reveal it to my wife because she's not the home wrecking type, but there's just something that doesn't feel right about it. It's hard to explain, but I feel like she would think that I'm chosing my wife over her even though I don't think she would even consider being with me. I did tell her a while back that it would be extremely easy for me to fall in love with her and she said she appreciated it.

i say keep it as just a great friendship. you love your wife and she would be hurt to even know you are having feelings for some other woman.

As much as I want her to know, I think I should keep it to myself for now. Maybe sometime in the future I can let her know what my feelings for her are.

Good. It sounds like you value the friendship and given its current state telling her may have driven her away. Plus you're both in relationships.

Why do you feel the need to tell her what your feelings are?

Definitely think this through with a cool head, it sounds like you possibly have a lot to lose by doing this.

I agree with others, it is possible to love others but you don't have to act on it or even tell them. Sometimes it's just not meant to be, but you can still care for her as a friend.

I guess I feel compelled to tell her because we've always been so open with each other about everything.

I also feel that maybe by telling her it will take some of the burden off of my chest, but at the same time I don't want it to become her burden.

I've really been missing her these last few days.

There is such a thing as too much honesty. That is, just because something is true doesn't mean it should be shared, especially if it will hurt someone.

Keep this one to yourself. It could shatter your marriage.

Don't selfishly unburden yourself by burdening others. You need to resolve these feelings on your own.

I don't think that love, true romantic love, really ever goes away.
It is totally fine to be in love with two people at the same time; lots of people are and lots of people act on it.
I think, however, that if you DO decide to act on it, then it is up to you to talk to your wife, otherwise I feel like it is cheating.
So to wrap up, yes, I think it's okay, no, I do not think you're wrong or crazy to be having these feelings, and yes, you need to talk to both your friend and your wife.
Just don't spring it on her. She might freak out. Give her a little time to figure out what's going on before you say anything to her. Drop hints, maybe, or leave something open on your computer that's going to make her think about the issue.
Just my two cents. Have a nice day!

Well, I chatted with my friend today and flat out told her that I've had a crush on her for a while. She said that it was sweet and she had no idea, but didn't reciprocate anything. So I guess I'll just leave it at that. Maybe years down the road, if we are still in touch, I can tell her how I really felt.