[sinking]

WITHOUT YOUR USUAL NEGATIVE COPING STRATEGIES.....

seems impossible to me. living without them? but im trying and the first option is writing here.

how do you live your life without your quitted negative coping strategies?

[gayleggg]

You take the time to form healthy ones. It giving up the old that's hard.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sinking]

Thanks, nice answer, but i find finding the healthy ones harder, since i dont even know what they are....

[sinking]

Like, when you're hurting, in pain or mad, what do you do?

I used to cut and drink. Without them, what?

My life seems turned upside down since i've decided to quit.,.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Sinking

I know it can be SO hard to let go of negative coping strategies, especially when they actually work in the moment for you
But you are already making an excellent start.........."but im trying and the first option is writing here", you're SO right you do need strategies better/healthier to replace them with. And writing here......letting out how you feel/your problems and getting ideas/support is one great replacement.
AND you've decided "to quit"!!!! Good on you!!!
So replacing the negative strategies..........maybe you need some more immediate strategies like exercise, going for a walk, punching a pillow if you're mad or feeling urges............and some one's you can work on building/practicing like ways to tackle negative thoughts, mindfulness, working of any self esteem issues.............., changing things in your life/life style that may be causing you problems.................
And I know it can be real hard, it can take LOTS of practice/persistence, you may slip at times, but it can be SO worth it........it can be done
And like I said you're already making an excellent start!!!
But just one more thought for now...........you mentioned drinking...........although that was a "used to" maybe you could still get some support from AA as well with coping strategies...........maybe even online meetings/support groups???



Alison

[sinking]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi Sinking

I know it can be SO hard to let go of negative coping strategies, especially when they actually work in the moment for you
But you are already making an excellent start.........."but im trying and the first option is writing here", you're SO right you do need strategies better/healthier to replace them with. And writing here......letting out how you feel/your problems and getting ideas/support is one great replacement.
AND you've decided "to quit"!!!! Good on you!!!
So replacing the negative strategies..........maybe you need some more immediate strategies like exercise, going for a walk, punching a pillow if you're mad or feeling urges............and some one's you can work on building/practicing like ways to tackle negative thoughts, mindfulness, working of any self esteem issues.............., changing things in your life/life style that may be causing you problems.................
And I know it can be real hard, it can take LOTS of practice/persistence, you may slip at times, but it can be SO worth it........it can be done
And like I said you're already making an excellent start!!!
But just one more thought for now...........you mentioned drinking...........although that was a "used to" maybe you could still get some support from AA as well with coping strategies...........maybe even online meetings/support groups???



Alison

Thanks Alison.

what do i do when i need to talk like with a t but no T available?

[Frankbtl]

Hi Sinking

"what do i do when i need to talk like with a t but no T available?"

Firstly, I'd say that it's great that you want to reach out like that and are prepared to talk about some of the things going on for you
Secondly, I'm really sorry but I don't know that I can be that much help with your question, maybe others on here can be but.............
Starting with PC, there is the online therapist:
Ask the Therapist
(there are also some other online therapist sites but I'm not sure how good they'll be.........)
Although not quite the same there is the emotional support section in chat;
Again not the same, but you could try some helplines or crisis chats online:
Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Psych Central
(there are more out there as well if you want to search national or for your area)
Some things/techniques you might find suggested by a T if you had one, you might be able to find on here in the Psychotherapy or related forums...........so maybe you could find something to resonate with you.
Or on youtube e.g.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqn...AbvfSlg/videos
And sorry I haven't even checked out any of the videos on here...........just looked for an example for you
But otherwise............if a T isn't possible...........then just talking to people who have been or are in your situation can still help a lot sometimes...........and there are a lot of amazing people on here...........so please keep on talking
And maybe even someone else on here could answer your question much better than I have



Alison

[Frankbtl]

Hi Sinking

One more thought............again not really what you were asking sorry but I've seen posts on here where people have suggested specific books which have helped them A LOT with things they've been going through, I don't know whether that might also be a way to go???
Whether you could do a little research online for books on specific issues or authors which resonate with "where you are right now"..........for some connections, answers, ideas................???
Just a thought............

[sinking]

Thank you i'm still using the posting here. it seems its what helps the most. but living life is just SO HARD.

I've had success with books and work books - especially those about Cognative Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

It takes work to develop positive strategies - especially when we find it so easy to turn to those that, while they may help us cope in the moment, are not so great for us in the long run.

I have another thought, what about finding yourself a peer who can offer support and feedback?

[sinking]

i dont have anyone who could be a peer offering support and feedback...

[avlady]

i had to attend a day treatment center for years which helped me tremendously. it was a few hours a day with people who were mentally ill like myself, and got to see first hand how much better off i was than some other people.i wish you well and good luck

[Frankbtl]

Hi sinking

I was completely agreeing there...........peer support sounded a really good idea.
I don't know whether there may be any groups in your community you could search for........??
But if none then maybe online peer support??
I'm thinking you could maybe put out a request on here, or running a search for you I found this site:
https://turn2me.org/group-support/?g...FUwYGwodxx4FWQ
which offers group and peer support.............although there's probably more.
Just a thought.............



Alison

[sinking]

i live in italy, small town, and we dont have peer support here except online. but online i rather come here.
thanks for the link!

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Keeping to schedule and keeping physically busy even just with mundane tasks is key to me. Try to stay mindful and present and no get stuck in my head.

[sinking]

Thanks, i try, but i wake up crying. what do i have to do?

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by sinking

Thank you i'm still using the posting here. it seems its what helps the most. but living life is just SO HARD.

It is true life is going pretty hard . My counselor has suggested I write down the moments that are good. Today the sun was shining and the sky was blue. Very welcome after the snowy ice storm. I got out for a bit and saw the snow melting and breathed the clean air.

[PianogirlPlays]

Good suggestions here. I have been helped by workbooks. Through reading and online searches. Everything that increases knowledge or brings added understanding seems to good!