[Artchic528]

I'm the jealous type. Maybe too much so, and it's making me feel guilty that I am jealous of others who meet online and form solid romantic relationships.

After all, it's that very situation that lead me down the path where I basically had an emotional and mental breakdown over a terrible situation. How then, does it work for other people. How? How in the hell does it work? Do I obsess too much over the people I try and foster a relationship with? Or do forum relationships just not work out in general?

I guess I'll never ever truly know the secret as all three freakin' times I tried....well, yeah. disaster. Dammit. Life sucks.

I guess talking helps, but maybe I should just talk to the people I'm jealous of, apologize to them, to get a load off my chest and stop being an immature butthole about it.

Being jealous is natural, but why do you want to apologize to the people whom you are jealous of? Did you hurt them?

[Artchic528]

I was sort of being cold to them, not nice, unsupportive, curt. They've always been nice to me, so yeah, I feeling like I should apologize. Or at say why I was being the way I was so I can get it out of my system.

I think there is no need. Just adjust your future responses to your new attitude.

About your point of the original post, I think some people struggle in social relationships. I don't know if that is helpful, but probably it has something to do with critical parenting. It was for me. Criticizing shattered my self-image and my self-esteem. I always envision someone will criticize me whatever I do or say. I envy people who talk to others smoothly and connect with them instantaneously. I imagine my life would have been much different if I were more sociable. I am still hopeful, though, that someday things will change for something better.

[Artchic528]

Well, my dad was raised on the parenting philosophy that if you were to poke fun of the flaws a person had, they would then be motivated to strengthen said flaws to prevent further teasing. I was raised by him much the same way, as it was his normal and he felt there was nothing wrong with it. His whole side of the family is much the same way.

I guess it's a farmer's attitude on life, as he was raised on a farm in the Midwest and there was little time to sit around and feel sorry for yourself when chores were needed to be done. As my grandfather, his father, always said, "There's always something that needs to be done on a farm."

Are you so sure an online relationship is what you want?

[Thunder Bow]

Comparing yourself to others, is a short cut to feeling bad about yourself. Especially when you are comparing yourself to others on line! No reason to keep fishing for reasons to feel bad about yourself.

[divine1966]

Do you mean meeting online but developing relationship in real life? I hope you don't mean relationship that is strictly online? I don't think that's real relationship. If it's the first option, then you do have to kiss a lot of frogs ( unless you are lucky like my fiancée who used dating site once in his life for few days and met me and that was the end of it, but most people spend time on there).

If you only met three men then it's not really that many at all. I've met my fiancée online but I kissed a lot of frogs over the years. I don't think one should envy me at all.

As about jealousy I am typically not jealous of what others have but there were exactly two times in my entire life I felt life is unfair.

Once I told my daughter that at times I wonder why we have to work hard our whole life while some women live off others ( usually off men)and don't have to sweat. She is pretty blunt ( wonder who she got that from ) so she said "these women can't even wipe their own butts why would you be jealous of them". Bahahaha

And once I told my t that I felt jealous for a moment how other women have easier lives staying married all life. She said " it's victim mentality". Yup. She also said I have no idea how bad some of these marriages are and I should be proud that I am not the type to put up with what other women put up with. So true

These were my two moments of weaknesses.

Don't be a victim. Others have what they have and you have what you have. We all just have different lives

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[Artchic528]

I guess what I'm trying to say is where's my luck? I seem to have lost it somewhere. Eh, to be perfectly honest, that's what I'm jealous of.

I went to my church this past Sunday and the Pastor talked about some of us carrying boulders and pebbles, much like the Grecian myth of Sisyphus and his being doomed to an eternity of rolling a huge boulder up a mountain every day, only to have it roll back down to the foot of the mountian right before it reaches the top. The boulders and pebbles we carry are a metaphor for the grudges, jealousy and hatred we harbor within us each day, and once we liberate ourselves from carrying them around, unlike poor Sisyphus who can't, we feel lighter, freer, and liberated. We are no longer chained to those feelings, and we can finally move on with our lives.

I am working on liberating myself from all my stones and pebbles so that I won't ever suffer the same fate of Sisyphus.

[Shaly78]

Try get the root of why online relationships make you jealous. I understand that sometimes you wish is was your time for love, I'm not sure if that makes you jealous, just human......Online dating has caused me problems recently, I'm not so sure that I should even do online dating at this point....I have problems with my body and I rather have a dude meet me in person so that he knows what he is working with instead of relying on pictures, they can tell the story, but not always since I don't like pictures....I might stop using online dating since I'm realizing this is a big insecurity and just wait lol...Don't feel bad I understand where your coming from

[Steiner of Thule]

Your luck will happen one day! Just continue working on yourself and trying to improve to make yourself more attractive to possible mates. Best thing you can do for yourself. Workout, eat healthy, and becoming more financially independent.

Building up your mental fortitude. It's what I tend to do when I am alone is really just focus on myself which is important. What do you feel like you could use improvement in. Ask yourself and try to to become better in that.