[fijiisland]

How do I deal with guilt over doing horrible things to people in the past. A lot of the things I did no one knows I did them. I did them secretly. But I feel as if I have so much anger and then I did them because I got so mad at that certain time.

My life has not been easy.

I can't even say on here what I have done. If I did I would get bashed on here.

I always tell myself I will stop, but then the PMS will hit and its like I just snap.

[lostinsidemyself]

Originally Posted by fijiisland

How do I deal with guilt over doing horrible things to people in the past. A lot of the things I did no one knows I did them. I did them secretly. But I feel as if I have so much anger and then I did them because I got so mad at that certain time.

My life has not been easy.

I can't even say on here what I have done. If I did I would get bashed on here.

I always tell myself I will stop, but then the PMS will hit and its like I just snap.

I say first forgive yourself. Yeserday you cant change, tomorrow hasnt happened yet, all you have is right now!

Also part of 12 step.and any rehab (so I hear) is confessing how you wronged to whom you did and ask them for forgiveness. Thats very freeing.

[Thunder Bow]

Best Not to say what you may of done, that would be just fishing for more bad feelings. Best not even to mention that you done bad things you regret here. Then you can move on to feeling better.

[Skeezyks]

Hello fijiisland: I also have things in my past I did... some awful things... some just twisted & bizarre. I have often thought that I hope I could be said to have been mentally ill my whole life. Because, if not, then that means I was simply a bad seed. Some of these things I can never talk about. Others I have talked about slightly with one therapist... but not in any depth. I also carry allot of related guilt & anger... much of it focused on myself wondering how I could have done what I did...

I have an on-line acquaintance who lives in the U.K. He is a devout Christian. I'm not a religious person, myself. But, if I were, I'd want to be like him. He & I have corresponded, in the past, regarding the concept of "forgiveness". He maintains that self-forgiveness is always possible. I, for my part, maintain that there are some acts so egregious that self-forgiveness is simply not appropriate or possible. (I put myself in this category.) What I try to employ, as a substitute, is simple acceptance. I strive to simply accept, as thoroughly as possible, the fact that I did what I did & then move on in whatever way I am able. It's not a great solution. But, over time, I have found that the burden does lighten... if just a little bit...

I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find the inner strength to lessen your guilt... and anger...

[bathroomscrubber]

Fijiisland, that is the quest most people struggle with. Not just people will MD.I agree with Skeezyks. There may be things we have done that we cannot forgive or maybe are not forgivable to us. We need to accept them. We cannot change them. They are done. The past has past. You need to move on in your life and do good kind things for others. The better a person you become the less the burdens of our wrongs become. And it becomes easier to forgive yourself or to accept you cannot change the past.