Midlife crisis at 36?

I've been having trouble lately figuring out exactly what these feelings that I'm having are. To make a long story short, I have a good life but I can't help but sometimes feel that something is missing. I often think of how nice it would be to be single and do what I want when I want, not have to worry about household or family responsibilities, and things of that nature The only person I've "been with" is my wife and I find myself curious about what it would be like with another woman.

I'm trying to sort all this out without going crazy. Aren't I too young for a midlife crisis?

You are married now. Love your wife, and forget about other women. Find something fulfilling in your life.

Yes, it sounds like a midlife crisis. Time to buy a sports car. It is good of you to be thoughtful about this and not jeopardize your marriage.

Did you settle down young? It does sound mid-life, which is more to do with a stage of life than a biological age.

I settled down young and while I too love my husband & family I'm aware that I didn't have the wild young years some people have because of this - those years have gone now so I'm okay with this but it's a realisation I went through about 40-ish (I was too busy to think of it before).

Do you have any single friends in your life around your age? I do, and it's not a bowl of cherries for them, sure they can do what they want when they want but they don't have that bond and support from marriage - many of them seek it but haven't yet found it.

If you value your marriage maybe now might be a good time to do some of the things you've always wanted to do - with your wife too.

Yes, we started dating in high school and got married at 21. In the almost 20 years we've been together I think we have spent MAYBE a week apart, if even that.

I do have several friends close to my age that are single.

Do you feel you wish you'd had more freedom when you were younger? Or is it more you wish you had more freedom now at age 36?

You may have the early signs of depression. You can still be yourself, and still have a family life. Learn more about yourself and who you are. That will lead to more freedom.

I honestly don't know. Maybe a little of both.

I do have depression. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago but I think I've had it a lot longer than that.

its the plight of gettig married too young. there is that time in your 20s when you explore life, figiue out what you want and who you are, and obviously taking advantage of your youth by being with different people. of course when youre with someone for a long time, you cant help but wonder about all that stuff you didnt get to do. but the distinguishing factor is, do you feel like you are missing that or want in on that action? or are you truly unhappy ? that's the kind of analysis that should be done through counseling, there's nothing better than an objective professional person to give you clarity.

i've seen both sides: women get caught in this idea that marriage is blissful and thats what they want & once they get it, they just give up and feel and act like they shouldn't work at maintaining their marriage. men are guilty of it too. routine is a relationship killer. but being single in your 30s is no cake walk either . thats my category, there's nothing like dating in the ever decreasing dating pool of good single people. especially online dating, at the end you're battling with what society expects (look at commercials, all centered around finding the oerfect person, having kids, having a nice car, somehow having a great social life with friends, looking great and fit)) vs. finding true influence-free happiness .

i say talk to a counselor before you take any action. .. wanting to be with someone else..& doing that will rip the heart out of your family. at least if you talk to someone first you can either cope with the mid life crisis or if its true unhapiness then cope with divorce in the least uprooting way.

on my case,i dated someone for 7 years from 22-29 and i was miserable. did what he wanted and lashed out. ever since then its been nothing but crappy relationships. i figured out that 7 years guy was not for me and i was only extending the pain of being incompatible, even worse my 20s was spent trying to make it work. we had a bond but no connection, he didnt make me happy and i didnt feel lile i had a true partner- an us versus the world relationship, i gave in to routine.once i figured out this person wasnt going to change i bailed. though, i spent the last 4 years finding that someone only to figure out 1) im getting older 2) most good people are taken 3) the perfect person doesnt exist. at the end you just try to find someone you get along with, wants the same stuff as you, share the same sense of humor . are you truly with the wrong person?

p.s. its healthy to be apart from your spoise, you dont need to be together all the time. you need that balance. if not itll tale your identity away and that can be soul crushing.