Emotions running a bit high - nerves on edge - possible trigger

I'm afraid. Tonight I go for my MRI. It's technically tomorrow. 12:25am April 2. I've been laid up since Jan 30. Waiting for MRI for 7 weeks dealing with this injury for 3 months cast is off but still so much pain. If I move the wrong way I feel sick from pain and cry. I guess I'm a bit of a baby.

I'm afraid of the machine this time, I have never been afraid before and I've had a few MRI's.

I'm afraid of the results. If I need surgery I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm getting married end of May.

I spontaneously cry for no reason or for thinking too much about my leg. Am I feeling sorry for myself? Yes, I suppose I am in a way.

I wish I had broken it. It would be healed but no, had to blow out the tendons and ligaments knee up to back and groin. UGH!

Then I think I should just be happy I'm alive because 2" either way and I could have been killed or hurt a lot worse.

Then the sui ideation emotions rise and I feel like a loser and so alone. Wondering if its worth it.

I have good days too. Last night I didn't get much sleep I moved the wrong way and woke myself out of a very pleasant sleep. Then couldn't get back to sleep. This lack of sleep triggers everything. I know this. I do have good days, I really do.

I am afraid today. I am afraid for the results. I am in so much pain I should just be happy I am having the test. I am afraid. I wish it would all just magically go away.

I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my leg from moving. It gets uncomfortable very quickly. Maybe they can support it somehow?

Idk. All this anxiety must be high as my new med has been really good in controlling the anxiety. Maybe I need a nap !

Hello Shawkat2009: The Skeezyks would simply like to offer his best wishes in the hope that you will soon find yourself to be on the mend... & that you will be able to find deep peace in your life...

So I go to fill out the paperwork and discover its not tonight but April 3 12:25 am. Yay one more day to worry. At least I discovered this before we left for the hospital night. Fiance not so impressed I think he made plans. Too fricken bad I need a driver as I am claustrophobic and need mild sedation. UGH!
Thank you Skeez!

Shaukat, I am so sorry for your pain and stress! I pray you heal quickly. You are gonna be a beautiful bride no matter what. Be patient with yourself and your body. Turn to your family and friends for help and support you need them now. You also have your friends here on pc. Hang in there honey!!! Sending healing thoughts and prayers.xo

I also need to do the MRI (head) and I'm also afraid. I struggle to do the call and make an appointment. Yet it's gonna be my first time. I'm scared that it's gonna last for like 40 min and I will get a panic attack or throw up. I have neurological problems. I hit my head three times in my life, one was when a guy pushed me from this 2m high wall by accident and fell after me, because I managed to grasp his shoulder, he literally fell on my face with his body and broke my nose. That was like 2 yrs ago. Then I slipped like two times and hit my head very hard. Since then I get severe headaches, especially at night. I also have tinnitius, small seizures and high head pressure, body parts numbness and things like that. The reason could be also my thyroid and cervical spine issues, but I need to check. My grandma also had this genetical disorder called ataxia which I could inherit. I'm scared of brain tumour/general brain injuries as hell. I can't afford being sick like that, I can't afford being physically disabled. I've seen my boss almost dying from aneurysm, it was terrible.

So i understand you saying ,,If I need surgery I don't know what I'm going to do". But as baseline said, you gonna be a beautiful bride no matter what.

Tell us how it went.

how did it go?