[Monarch Butterfly]

I don't mean touching private parts. People you don't know well, professionals ( doctor, therapists),acquaintances, co workers ,placing their hand on your shoulder, patting shoulder or arm, holding or touching hand, quick shoulder or upper back rub.

Do these types of gestures bother you? Depends on how well you know the person? Does it depend on verbal interactions, relationship you have with the person? Can you pick up on the vibe of the touch ( soothing, reassuring, creepy etc) Or do you hate being touched?

[Raindropvampire]

It bothers me a great deal but I just suck it up and move on. It's my problem to deal with and the vast majority of people mean no harm and would be hurt if they knew how I really felt.

[~Christina]

I have a huge problem with touchy feely people.. Unless I know someone well , I will do anything to avoid it up to and even taking a step back and say Hey I am not comfortable with X.. If the person judges me for it... so be it ... If it does happens it really depends on the situation .

I know my avoidance of it comes from past csa. Its doubtful I will ever be able to change my ability to tolerate random non threatening touching, and that is okay.

[DirtyPaws]

I have one standard response (since age 15) whenever anyone, who is not currently my boyfriend, touches me in ANY WAY AT ALL.

I look them right in the eye, and using my still in control, but deadly serious tone, I say, "Touch me again and you're pulling back a bloody stump."

This has actually worked very well for me, over the last 35 years now. >^..^<



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[LucyD]

I'm okay with it but was not always. It's okay for my friends and family to hug me or pat me on the back or shoulder. But if I go out with a guy I don't want him to touch me. I have to get to know him first.

[divine1966]

I am touchy feely but it depends on what relationship I have with the person. Random colleagues giving me back rubs or hold my hand I would probably feel weird about but a hug or a pat on a shoulder is fine. I do stuff like that all the time

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Well I am guilty as charged. I touch people - usually on their hand - when I feel the need to acknowledge something they have said. I do this when I realise they are down or scared. I think I do this out of habit because I want to give the message they are not alone. I do this instinctively; thinking little about it. I immediately realise though the inappropriateness of the action. I can't help it. Yes, I am perfectly aware it is unwelcome to most.

Now on the otherhand, I have a very tight personal space. I shake the hands of complete stangers in order to make them feel welcome. I in turn have some degree then of inclusion to the group. There is a lot you can also tell of a person by shaking their hand.

It occurs to me that a big reason I do this comes from techniques I have picked up or was taught while I was in retail sales.

Again, I don't choose to do this. I only realise I have done it after it has happened.

[Monarch Butterfly]

A pat on the shoulder, handshake doesn't bother me. I had a professional one time rub the front,,top of my shoulder up and down and in circular motions.They did it once, paused and restarted. I said I was feeling nervous prior to them doing this. I didn't feel totally creeped out. Just not use to it. Maybe because Im not use to comforting touch?

I get quite uncomfortable with people putting their hands on me or being touchy feely. If I trust the person then I usually don't have a problem with it, but if it's someone I don't know or don't trust then I get very uncomfortable and tense.

[Dan208]

There are only a few people that I don't mind "in my bubble ". Doctors don't bother me.

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[Shaly78]

I was made to have a hand in my hair by a female bother me.....In the moment I didn't think it was a big deal. Anyway it took someone who wasn't even there to bring it back up in my memory, only to have me examine that it was wrong.

I had a problem, didn't say anything at the time with a family member touching my husband's bald head. I know she didn't mean anything by it was just the wrong thing to do....Maybe cause he was a cheater and I was feeling vulnerable subconsciously, although she didn't know that. Also the fact that he my husband use to joke then admit then joke they he had been with one of my family members but would never say who...Anyway, yea a complicated example.

Corporate America handshake is a must, a pat on the back is okay as well. Other than that everything is normal, but I understand survivor issues regarding touch

what bothers me is when someone says something along the lines of...

"do you want a hug?"

and before you have a chance to say you don't, they reach out and try to hug you

or people that put their hands on your knee, and keep it their because, "i'm being friendly"

in general i don't like that kind of stuff anyway... i hate my body, hate it. if i don't like it, you can imagine how i feel about other people touching it- it's like if they do they'll get infected or something.

[stewartmays1]

im down with it tbh

[TiredPilgrim]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

It bothers me a great deal but I just suck it up and move on. It's my problem to deal with and the vast majority of people mean no harm and would be hurt if they knew how I really felt.

I could not have said it better myself, thank you raindropvampire. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this.