Hi,

Feel I need to share this to move on.. After losing my job due to physical illness two years ago, I've really let myself go, neglecting all self care. This has to stop, but I've also realised I never really learned to look after myself in the first place. I'm also really, really angry I now have to learn all of it by myself!

Growing up, my dad didn't care and my mum took care of me because it made her feel good about herself, not because she realised I needed it and wanted me to be happy. She'd actually get upset when I tried to become more independent, I guess she didn't want me to leave her..

Anyway, I need to get over this and start taking care of myself, and am hoping sharing my anger will help me to finally let go of it.. Thanks for reading

[Perna]

Unfortunately learning to care for one's self is not a one-time thing we learn and then we're good to go :-) I have found though that what I have learned on my own is worth more to me than what I got through osmosis (watching others around me or through reading). Look at it as an adventure and it might help you not feel so angry. My husband died in October and I'm trying to figure out how to care for myself for real again after 30+ years.

[Skeezyks]

Best wishes for great success, not.dead.yet

Thank you for the replies!

Perna, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I wish you the best in learning to take care of yourself.

I think for me, part of neglecting self care has been my revenge towars my mother who could've made my life easier but didn't choose to.. Somehow, I've felt that by hurting myself I'm getting to hurt her, too. But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't deserve this, I deserve to be really, really happy, just like anyone else. I want to let go.

[Gus1234U]

i have heard it said that neglect is the cruelest form of abuse, because it is empty. there is nothing to react to. learning to care for ourselves is something we all need to do, at some age, at some time, sometimes over again. i, too, have had to relearn self care, am still learning it. i know perfectly well how to shower, but i have no urge to do so, no 'need' to feel clean. it's a very hard thing to overcome, but since i have decided to, i am making progress (a little at a time, cumulative).

i hope you find self-care, and the causes of self-care~!