Stressed about volunteer gig

Note: I posted this in the work forum, and am not really getting replies.

It's at my local library. I love my library. Love it. I'm there all the time anyway, and feel like it's the perfect place to volunteer, in a sense. I have actually volunteered there on and off before.

I have a lot of anxiety about some of the clerks who work there though. They make me uncomfortable. One, is really gruff. The other ignores me completely (but luckily I don't have to work with this second one).

There ARE some people who are nice. Like the librarians and some of the other clerks. One is a guy, and I can see us becoming friends.

I'm worried that they don't like me (the clerks), and that they may talk about me negatively when I'm not there. Maybe they wonder why I don't have a job. Maybe they think they're better than me. I don't know. I do realize this is all in my head. I just get a weird feeling.

I worked at a library 10 years ago when I was just out of college. I thought it would be nice and peaceful. But my boss, supervisor, and the people who I was working with, were not nice to me. I was going through a LOT at the time. And I was young. I know i acted weird and awkward, and I know I was late a lot. Like 30 min late to 60 min late. And they never fired me. But I think they messed with me. A lot. Again, it was a really messed up time in my life. I ended up quitting a year after I got hired. I can't believe i was even there a year. Anyway, this is NOT the same library I volunteer at. But this was a traumatic experience for me, and while I love going to libraries still, I also have come to realize that i am triggered by volunteering at them.

Anyways, I feel very uncomfortable right now. I am at home. But I'm thinking of quitting. Even though I just started again.

Maybe I can just focus more on the nice people, and not engage much with the ones I am not comfortable with.

Hi, I think it's important to make yourself and your health a priority. Maybe it's just not a good time for you to volunteer right now. Perhaps you need time for YOU. There is always the future opportunity for volunteering. Take care.

Just wondering whether or not you feel a sense of acknowledgement or appreciation.

Update: I resigned. Thanks Rainyday107, I agree with you. justafriend306, sometimes I did (but not from my supervisor), sometimes I didn't.

starrysky ~ I'm sorry to hear this but you have to do what is best for you. Acknowledgement, especially when you are volunteering, is huge. It lends the feeling that you aren't being taken advantage of and that you are appreciated. If you weren't being acknowledged - and publicly - they weren't doing their job. They also needed to include you into the team and obviously this was not being done either.

You filled an open position. Consider then that you obviously were not the only one feeling shafted and second guessing themselves.

Thank you Justafriend306. I feel like something didn't feel right with it. A lot of times their interactions with me were inconsistent, and I felt like a burden or something (this was in the past). They were nice sometimes, and left me wondering other times. My supervisor never thanked me, and rarely talked to me. The woman who did thank me in the past, was the gruff woman I mentioned in my first post, and I am triggered by her. I didn't feel good about myself there. I am a college graduate and regardless of that, I want to be comfortable and be treated well. I don't care if I'm a janitor or a ceo or a jobless, childless, marriageless woman trying to better herself.

All that being said, I had just come back to volunteer again because, it's really weird...as a patron, someone who just comes in to check books out, they are really nice to me. And I have wanted to get to know them. I thought I could give volunteering another chance. But then when I did, I just found myself very triggered because of my trauma from the past, anxiety, and also some of the people who work there.

I think I did the right thing. Thanks for the support.

Kind of off topic, but one big problem with volunteering is that you end up doing work that ought to be paid for. Working alongside staff doing the same thing as them is just not right.

When I volunteer for an organization I want a list up front of activities. I also want to know how they acknowledge the unpaid work by alternative remuneration. Example if I were working everyday at a festival I'd expect a ticket to a show. The museum I volunteer at gives me free admission to my guests and a pretty deep discount. All this goes to what I spoke about above - ACKNOWLEDGEMENT and APPRECIATION.

I was volunteering at my local library, over the winter. I did not receive any encouragement or obvious appreciation from my supervisor. His personality was odd; I didn't see him showing much gratitude to anyone. I quit the vol job. It takes a special person to be a volunteer coordinator; unfortunately there are so many introverts that work in libraries...working for them can be more detrimental than rewarding.