I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of not being able to deal with it. Of having no control over it.

It's like I'm a victim with no way to fight back. I hate it.

(((Sophiesmom)))

I am sorry to read you are feeling this way at the moment.

Would you like to talk about this some more/would it help to vent a little?

Thank you prefabsprout. Just reading that made me cry.

And that's the problem really...smh.

I wish I could have some control or could make some connection so that I had some idea of how to deal with this roller coaster I seem to be on that never stops.

At my age, I should be in more control of myself. Really. I have enough self-hatred and this only makes me feel even more defective.

Thank you for the kind words. And the hug. I needed it like you wouldn't believe.

The idea of 'should' is responsible for so much unhappiness - I use that word to beat myself up with too, I'm trying not to do that these days because it's never been helpful.

Here's a link about 'should' I found interesting, hope you will too:

How to Enjoy the Journey More by Eliminating "Should"

Take care

[Skeezyks]

[Frankbtl]

Hi sophiesmom

Every day, or sometimes every second, you're making it through, or speaking out, or saying it shouldn't be like this, or reaching out for support............you're showing that you're stronger than it, it's not winning, you're not taking it "lying down", you're not being a "victim" to it
I know it may sometimes hurt like nothing else, and I'm so sorry but you are a winner

And it can be OK not to fight so hard sometimes as well, you know if you have unreasonable expectations of yourself considering the way you're feeling, you can cut back on those.........."give yourself a break" and some "time out" and let us in, as you have, to give you some support in those "dark times".........share the load

And the self-hatred..........that's not about you, that's about the depression........you are not the depression, you are so much more than that
And you're no-one who deserves to be hated in any way



Alison

[Bill3]

(((((sophiesmom)))))

[helplessandhopeful]

Re: Things are so bad for me, emotionally...

Hang in there sophiesmom

[Passioncompassion]

Sophiesmom... Thank u for sharing.
It s ~11pm here, I just got home feeling frustrated just like you. It's been ongoing feeling of insecurity & uneasiness with me for a while now, & I feel like I should have better control But I don't.
all I can do is NOT GIVE UP, reach out & read to help ease the pain a day at a time. Thnx for ur post.
❤️❤️��

[Ceridwen18]

I'm so sorry for your pain. Feeling powerless is so soul destroying, because you want to help yourself and you just can't. There are no "shoulds" in that space. It is what it is. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are a wonderful, unique worthwhile human being. Don't hate yourself for what you have no control over. With every breath you take, you are winning.

[divine1966]

I am so sorry for your pain and am sending you hugs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ceridwen18]

How are you feeling today, sophiesmom?

[Angelique67]

Sorry I missed this before. Sophiesmom, you are a valuable member of pc, and I like your posts a lot. I hope that whatever it is that's making you unhappy will get resolved soon, and that you'll feel much better soon.

[Bill3]

(((((sophiesmom)))))

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi sophiesmom

Every day, or sometimes every second, you're making it through, or speaking out, or saying it shouldn't be like this, or reaching out for support............you're showing that you're stronger than it, it's not winning, you're not taking it "lying down", you're not being a "victim" to it
I know it may sometimes hurt like nothing else, and I'm so sorry but you are a winner

And it can be OK not to fight so hard sometimes as well, you know if you have unreasonable expectations of yourself considering the way you're feeling, you can cut back on those.........."give yourself a break" and some "time out" and let us in, as you have, to give you some support in those "dark times".........share the load

And the self-hatred..........that's not about you, that's about the depression........you are not the depression, you are so much more than that
And you're no-one who deserves to be hated in any way



Alison

you know i think that goes for everyone of us and our individual struggles.

thanks for this post

Thank you everyone. You're all amazing for reaching out when you have your own issues to deal with....

Logic fights with emotion all of the time. Logic just ends up shrugging it's shoulders and getting a migraine!

I should give myself a break but since the depression these episodes are longer and deeper. It's a rotten side effect..

Again, thank you all...it's so nice to have a place where people really understand and not just say that they understand.