[smartiesparty]

i've had phobia of dentists for long which is why i put off a treatment to correct the position of two of my teeth. i only started seeing several specialists 3 months ago.
today i went to a dentist with good reputation to start the fixing of my teeth
he told me he'd have to 'break' my whole jaw with surgery(my crooked teeth in the back are a minor problem according to 3 other specialists i saw a while ago) and pull out several teeth and he was really condescending, and when i wasn't answering he told me to 'calm down'. when i said no, he said i'd be stuck with a weird jaw forever (you can't even tell from the outside or my smile) then, and that i was used to it anyway
i ran out of his office and into toilets and cried for a good 20 minutes
i self harmed on the way home

You deserve a compassionate dentist and, frankly, he doesn't deserve your money. What a jerk. Those are his issues, not yours. You didn't do anything wrong. I hope you feel better soon. xo

[Fuzzybear]

What a horrible "man"

[divine1966]

What a moron!

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[Yours_Truly]

How awful! I'd go back to the previous 3 specialists and get their opinions.

[Frankbtl]

Hi smartiesparty,

First of all...........MASSIVE kudos for making the breakthrough in seeing the specialists AND the dentist!!!!
I understand that must have taken a lot to do, so be real proud of yourself!!!!

And the dentist you saw............I'm really sorry you had to endure that
Basically there are no excuses for him.............but if nothing else you can maybe take comfort in knowing that you could never be so rude, insensitive and............to someone else as he was..............and feel glad that you're never going to have to see him again!!!

But please try not to let this put you off going to another dentist..........you have done so well in coming this far, and he absolutely does not deserve to ruin that

And next time...........when you phone/visit to make an appointment (with another dentist!!) maybe explain to the receptionist some of your anxieties and ask for time to talk to the dentist before he/she starts anything, that way maybe you can get a feel for how sensitive he is to your situation and needs before you allow him/her to start and then decide if you feel comfortable with them or not.
There will be dentist's out there who can fully understand anxieties/phobia's and work with them in a caring/sensitive/professional approach.

And to repeat................I understand that even going today must have taken a lot to do, so be real proud of yourself!!!!

Alison

[Shaly78]

No, matter if you shared that before or after (Phobia) I agree I would find another dentist!

[smartiesparty]

Now I am scared of going to any doc and scared to cry uncontrollably in front of them...it is such a deep feeling of shame. But I thank you for your kind support..

[therapyishelping777]

TOTAL JERK!!!! Wow.. I'would have been super angered. No words for that man!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that !!

[Frankbtl]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

Now I am scared of going to any doc and scared to cry uncontrollably in front of them...it is such a deep feeling of shame. But I thank you for your kind support..

Hi smartiesparty

You know I'd say that you have a lot more strength than you're giving yourself credit for.........might be really hard (sometimes impossible) to feel it
But you made it to not one, not two, but three specialists and the dentist!!!
Now try telling me that didn't take massive strength!!!!
AND you've come here to tell us about it!!!!
Believe me, you've probably got a lot more strength than you think!!!

And remember...........going to a doc...........you are in control. If you need to you can walk out at any single point in the appointment, with any excuse you want
But if you can keep a real focus on why you're there, even prepare and write notes beforehand...........and you can have "time out" in the appointment by taking a little time to check them out...........inwardly taking a deep breathe.
Create a pause if you're stuck for words or anxious by slowly repeating what they've said back to you too if you need.
And maybe a few mindfulness or grounding techniques could help too...........

And let's hit the worst case scenario............if you were to cry...........well absolutely nothing to be ashamed of
Says you've got feelings and you find some situations difficult..........that doesn't make you any lesser person in any way, shape or form!!!
And perhaps prepare something to say afterwards if it were to happen to help move the situation on a bit if you think that may help??

But keep on posting, hey??
I'd say you may well get some great support with that on here, you don't have to do this alone

Alison

[Anonymous37919]

I used to be a little bit afraid of dentists. My orthodontist gave me braces behind my bottom teeth after the 'train tracks' were taken away. They were uncomfortable. After they were removed, I was relieved about that, but then he said I needed to wear ordinary braces again because my front upper teeth still poked out. Then he asked my mother if I ate properly. I'm very thin, by the way. It's just the way I am. It wasn't nice hearing that.

[smartiesparty]

Thank you for all your answers...I feel much better today but it will be hard ever going to a dentist again...just like doctors. I'm very scared of doctors.

Thank you.

Smartiesparty your dentist reminds me of an awful dentist I saw years ago, he talked to his colleague about my teeth over me (ignoring me like I was an object not a person) and then instructed me he was going to take my wisdom teeth out. Absolutely appalling chair-side manner, I could tell his colleague was cringing.

Needless to say I found another dentist (no way was I letting that one loose on my mouth!), I've had a few since then, all were fine and none of them have ever mentioned removing my wisdom teeth which have been fine.

There are good and bad dentists - yours sounds bad.

There are dentists out there who specialise in dental phobic patients, they advertise as such, dental phobia is extremely common and good dentists will work with you on this. When you have regained your equilibrium please do consider researching dentists who specialise in phobic patients in your area - I can assure you their approach will be completely different.

[Anonymous37919]

@prefabsprout 'When Love Breaks Down' - I love that song.

As for that jerk of a dentist; I think you should put in a complaint. The way he spoke to you wasn't acceptable. It seemed degrading.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

Now I am scared of going to any doc and scared to cry uncontrollably in front of them...it is such a deep feeling of shame. But I thank you for your kind support..

Awww I feel so sorry for you. I can and do relate. There was an experience where I wanted to see a different therapist. Well things were going okay but when he called me a scatterbrain because of my verbal manic symptoms I thought thats it. Never going back. Now I am sticking with my therapist. I found a new found appreciation of understanding, helpful she is. Plus I'm really scared to seeing a new therapist. Can you go back to the specialists. That dentist is a disgrace to his profession.