[Leyla]

Does anyonelse struggle with letting go of the past.. i keep ruminatng over the loss of close friendship i had with someone and things were better that it ended but... i wasn't happy how things ended so i guess i keep ruminating over that.

Doors are completey closed so i can't even express how i am feeling...but i am feeling it in my head and my shoulders. i wake up feeling tense... i have started doing mindfulness mediation and affirmations in the head but i am a very impatient person and these kinda of things take time to feel real effects.

anyways this is just making me an unhappy person... i just want peace of mind.

thanks if you read this far.

I do the same. Always have.

Also same situation here, well one of the ones ruminate about anyway.

Close friend, more like family, pulled away and then outright started ignoring me and my family. Doors closed as well, i think.

There are times where i can't stop with the what ifs and should haves. I get angry sad frustrated depressed. Then it goes in the back of my head for a bit and something else comes up. I have begged for help with this. It brings me so much distress.

I truly understand

[Frankbtl]

Hi Leyla

Firstly, I'm sorry you're struggling so much

And it sounds like you're needing some closure on the friendship...........I don't know if there's anything symbolic you could do to help with that/something that has some meaning in the context of what the friendship was??
Or maybe you could write down all your feelings or everything you'd want to tell them "if"..........and what you do with that is up to you.............some people would burn it or bury it or keep it for "if they need it".
But maybe you could try to focus more on the good parts of the friendship and whatever happened at the end...........well at least you have the good bits to hold onto..........and maybe "just" celebrate having them in your life??
And sure, the ending might not have been good...........but maybe you can see the friendship as something that just had to end/something that couldn't last, but also something that gave you some things to move on to form different (and mabe stronger??) friendships in your life/in the future which can be really rewarding.............

And you know you did say the "recent" past............so maybe there is a sense of grieving over the loss of the friendship..........even if it ended badly you could still be grieving the loss of the better bits, "what could have been", and someone who was a close friend.........so try to give yourself a "bit of a break" and a bit of self-care. And whatever feelings you're feeling a bit of self-compassion, hey?? Things like this can take time

And to borrow some words of wisdom from part of a post from another user on here "However, I try the mantra "it's ok, you love them, you miss them" feel it- and then let it go- with a deep exhaling breath- "i will move on" It has helped. There are too many who Enter our lives and disappear without warning. Yet, when all is said and done, no matter the pain. It made me stronger and ensures my eyes will be open next time.............."

So just some thoughts................



Alison

[Leyla]

thank you both for your replies... what you said Alison is what i have been doing... i wrote down all the good things about this person, because that is what i want to remember them by. yes i think i am still grieving... and just like any other loss i have had in the past.. i know i will get over it...they do say time is the best healer. i do have a wonderful family and other good friends..so I KNOW I NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT... and not go back to the PAST....

thanks again

I am still grieving the loss of my lifestyle pre-breakdown. Rencent? 4-5 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about what I have lost.

[Shaly78]

Hang in there ruminations can be tough ask your pdoctor, if and indication of something else.

[Leyla]

my doctor did increase my medication because i keep ruminating about this person, hopefully that helps because it's starting to affect my job

sorry justafriend... that is tough.... all we can do is take it one day at time.