[alpacalicious]

Since when I was a teenager, I view the act of crying as a bad thing. When I cry I feel weak, and ashamed of myself, like it's a thing I have to hide, even from myself. I don't cry often, in fact, I go months without crying. When I feel a lump in my throat, and my eyes starting to water, I try to block the sensation and to swallow my tears. It's like I need to block the act of crying. Recenlty I felt this sensation but I didn't cry, and supressed my tears.
I wonder if there is someone else who doesn't cry like me...and how can I start to see crying as a normal thing, not negative?

Originally Posted by alpacalicious

Since when I was a teenager, I view the act of crying as a bad thing. When I cry I feel weak, and ashamed of myself, like it's a thing I have to hide, even from myself. I don't cry often, in fact, I go months without crying. When I feel a lump in my throat, and my eyes starting to water, I try to block the sensation and to swallow my tears. It's like I need to block the act of crying. Recenlty I felt this sensation but I didn't cry, and supressed my tears.
I wonder if there is someone else who doesn't cry like me...and how can I start to see crying as a normal thing, not negative?

Hi, well I have mixed experiences. Most of the time I am similar to you, in that I choke it back, it's how I've been my adult life. Very rarely cry, maybe just a little prickle.

In depression however I would cry and cry, often about no one particular thing, it was exhausting. Maybe it was a build up of bottled up emotion I don't know.

Not sure I'm going to be much help here seeing as I haven't really found a great conclusion, but I have found that movies can be a good emotional release (when sitting alone or in the darkness of the theatre no one can see me so it feels 'okay' somehow). Toy Story 3

[Thunder Bow]

It take courage to show tears and your heart. Take the risk and let yourself cry, Then be proud that you are able to cry.

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate.. although in my case, I've just never felt like crying.

[alpacalicious]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Hi, well I have mixed experiences. Most of the time I am similar to you, in that I choke it back, it's how I've been my adult life. Very rarely cry, maybe just a little prickle.

In depression however I would cry and cry, often about no one particular thing, it was exhausting. Maybe it was a build up of bottled up emotion I don't know.

Not sure I'm going to be much help here seeing as I haven't really found a great conclusion, but I have found that movies can be a good emotional release (when sitting alone or in the darkness of the theatre no one can see me so it feels 'okay' somehow). Toy Story 3

Now that I remember, last time I cried a lot was when I was watching a japanese animation movie that was really sad in the end. Maybe watching tearful animes could work!

[AlittleUnsteady]

I don't cry very often either, and when I do, it's for maybe a minute. I definately do everything I can not to cry infront of people. I hate feeling vulnerable. It makes me feel weak and stupid. This is really hard in therapy, when I feel like I need to cry, but I can't. I shut off my emotions so much, that I'm beginning to wonder if they will ever come back. I don't even try to stop myself anymore, it just happens automatically. It feels like there is so much burried inside, that it's suffocating me. I wish I could cry in therapy now, but I also don't feel safe enough to. I'm not sure how to fix it, just know that you aren't alone in this.

Since I had ECT treatments, I have phyically been unable to cry. It is as though something was done to my forhead muscles preventing the squinching up of my face that I do when I cry. But I rarely tear up too. There are times I feel the urge to cry but it just doesn't happen.

[alpacalicious]

Thanks for the replies
And do you think it could be ok not to cry? Last night I was thinking about this...everyone can express their emotion as they want. Everyone have emotions...but they can express them differently than others. For example, some people when they are happy will laugh, others won't laugh but maybe they'll start to dance or to do random body movements and so on. So, I thought, maybe one person if sad (or even happy) will start to cry, another person won't cry and express this emotion like the other...and that's ok. I don't know if this is an excuse to not cry and not push myself to do it. I felt like crying recently, but I really can't do this because I will feel uncomfortable.

[LadyShadow]

I cry at everything! Emotions, hell even movies!

I am a very emotional person, and I feel crying as such a release. I feel so much better after a good long cry, the harder the tears and the more they come the better.

Just let them flow, and remember that crying is to release, and when we are struggling it could be the best remedy for us.

Good luck and hugs

Originally Posted by alpacalicious

Thanks for the replies
And do you think it could be ok not to cry? Last night I was thinking about this...everyone can express their emotion as they want. Everyone have emotions...but they can express them differently than others. For example, some people when they are happy will laugh, others won't laugh but maybe they'll start to dance or to do random body movements and so on. So, I thought, maybe one person if sad (or even happy) will start to cry, another person won't cry and express this emotion like the other...and that's ok. I don't know if this is an excuse to not cry and not push myself to do it. I felt like crying recently, but I really can't do this because I will feel uncomfortable.

There is quite a bit of evidence that crying releases stress:

Cry It Out: 6 Surprising Health Benefits Of Shedding A Few Tears

It's not to say that releasing stress in other ways isn't beneficial too, but I think it is a healthy stress release - such a shame so many of us absorbed the message it was a weakness.

[leejosepho]

I grew up hearing the "Brave young men don't cry" mantra, and if I ever did happen to cry over anything other than physical pain I was told to stop or I would be given something (some physical pain) to actually cry about. However, crying over an emotion is something I believe I would have seldom ever done anyway, and today there are usually few tears available even when "having a good cry" is something I would actually like to be able do. I do avoid certain things such as pictures of my grandchildren (900 miles away) or of my daughters when they were young, however, because even the tears that do sometimes come never resolve the tremendous emotional upheaval. So, I would say it is fine for me to cry as much or as little as I wish whenever I even can and just as fine to look for ways to simply subvert certain upheavals.

Well… i dont like crying either.

[Unrigged64072835]

I stopped crying around 2009-2010. Now even when I want to cry I just don't. I find it rather uncomfortable because I used to cry quite a bit. It was the last time I was deeply depressed to the point of barely functioning. I still get depressed but not on that level.

[MtnTime2896]

In my family, growing up, I wasn't allowed to cry except in extreme circumstances. It's still burned into my skull that, even when I do cry, it must be done alone because it's shameful. Kind of sucks. I don't know how to get passed that, but you're not alone with this issue.

I have a grown son who I've seen cry at times. I have mixed feelings when I see this. Yes, society says men mustn't cry. I cringe when my son does so immediately my gut worries what others might think. Yet, on the otherhand I feel proud and happy that I have raised a child to be in touch with their emotions and apparently not afraid to show them.

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I have a grown son who I've seen cry at times. I have mixed feelings when I see this. Yes, society says men mustn't cry. I cringe when my son does so immediately my gut worries what others might think. Yet, on the otherhand I feel proud and happy that I have raised a child to be in touch with their emotions and apparently not afraid to show them.

It takes a strong hearted warrior to show his emotions. He has great courage!

I will never be caught dead crying in front of another human being under any circumstance. Last time I felt like crying when I was in front of somebody, I instead let my tears turn into anger and slammed a coffee pot into the wall and broke it into several pieces. Anger makes me look stronger than tears I think but that's also because I'm a man and society still has an unfair stigma against men crying.

Now when I'm alone and I'm certain nobody can hear me? I often sob my heart out like a little kid.

I was once gonna cry on my therapist session about a deep subject. It felt very unusual, but I accepted it. I love crying, but I'm ok with the fact that I can't. Instead, I told him that the topic makes me feel like crying and that currently there are tears idle in my eyes.

Know that even if you can't let it out, say that it's there.

[MtnTime2896]

Well, I finally cried. I mean really cried, balled like a baby for an hour. Haven't cried like that for a lot of years. What did I know? 13 years of suppressed feelings finally got to me. I was alone, thank god. I would be ashamed to cry in front of people (still can't get passed that).

They'll hit you. In time, they will and it'll hurt like hell but at least you'll know you feel.

[MickeyCheeky]

Did you feel better afterwards?

[alpacalicious]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

.
Know that even if you can't let it out, say that it's there.

Yeah, verbalizing could be an option I didn't think about that. Yesterday I wanted to cry in therapy but I didn't and supressed my tears. Maybe if it will happen again, I'll say "I feel like crying but I don't want to". At least you verbalized your emotion.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Did you feel better afterwards?

I'm not sure. Don't feel much different.