This is especially an issue at Christmas because it's all about children but way worse this year. I lost my baby in October and I'm not in the position to have another child right now so it's a huge trigger for me to hear about other people's kids. Yesterday I had to leave Wal-Mart because there were so many people shopping for their kids and I was getting seriously triggered. I avoid Facebook as well but I'm not sure how to deal with this because it's just not something I can escape. Every time I hear or see other people's kids and babies I just wish my daughter was here and it hurts so much. Everyone tells me to hold off having another baby but how am I supposed to do that when they constantly rub it in my face Every day ?

[Skeezyks]

gosh, I am so very sorry

[leejosepho]

Society knows how to be compassionate toward widows, widowers and orphans, but a society that arbitrarily terminates life in the womb is often quite callous, even if unintentionally, toward the parent suffering the loss of a child...and I would guess there is no greater grief. Have you looked for support near you?
https://www.google.com/search?q=chil...+support+group

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by iPhone

This is especially an issue at Christmas because it's all about children but way worse this year. I lost my baby in October and I'm not in the position to have another child right now so it's a huge trigger for me to hear about other people's kids. Yesterday I had to leave Wal-Mart because there were so many people shopping for their kids and I was getting seriously triggered. I avoid Facebook as well but I'm not sure how to deal with this because it's just not something I can escape. Every time I hear or see other people's kids and babies I just wish my daughter was here and it hurts so much. Everyone tells me to hold off having another baby but how am I supposed to do that when they constantly rub it in my face Every day ?

I think you have to do what you wish to do...if you want to have a baby..I think you should.

I had a girlfriend at work...her daughter j"Olivia" was born with her heart outside her body. They gave my girlfriend hope..because they knew this was going on before birth.

However, Oliva died after a couple of surgeries and I think she was 2 months old..

MY POINT for you: My friend "Julie" became pregnant rather quickly after that..and she had a lot of guilt. But, she also had a lot of counseling.

And the counselor told her that she knew "Julie" was not trying to REPLACE Olivia..and that if she wished to get pregnant she should..and she did...

Julie and I had LONG talks about this...Julie in the end of her pregnancy with her "new" baby...in no way EVER took Olivias place....not in Julies heart.

Julie was also concerned that the child itself would hate her and think that Julie was just using the "new" child for a replacement and the counselor said that she knew "Julie" and knew that Julies other child had "individual" love and affection and that that the new baby would also feel loved.

If you feel you are fully ready to accept that your daughters death was not your fault, not anyone's fault, a terrible tragedy....one that can not be reversed.

And you feel ready to have another child...ready to give your love individually to that child..only you KNOW...and if you are ready...I'm sure you will have the support of everyone that knows and loves you.

I am sorry for the loss of your daughter.....I truly am sorry for anyone that has to go thru anything like that.

Originally Posted by Misssy2

I think you have to do what you wish to do...if you want to have a baby..I think you should.

I had a girlfriend at work...her daughter j"Olivia" was born with her heart outside her body. They gave my girlfriend hope..because they knew this was going on before birth.

However, Oliva died after a couple of surgeries and I think she was 2 months old..

MY POINT for you: My friend "Julie" became pregnant rather quickly after that..and she had a lot of guilt. But, she also had a lot of counseling.

And the counselor told her that she knew "Julie" was not trying to REPLACE Olivia..and that if she wished to get pregnant she should..and she did...

Julie and I had LONG talks about this...Julie in the end of her pregnancy with her "new" baby...in no way EVER took Olivias place....not in Julies heart.

Julie was also concerned that the child itself would hate her and think that Julie was just using the "new" child for a replacement and the counselor said that she knew "Julie" and knew that Julies other child had "individual" love and affection and that that the new baby would also feel loved.

If you feel you are fully ready to accept that your daughters death was not your fault, not anyone's fault, a terrible tragedy....one that can not be reversed.

And you feel ready to have another child...ready to give your love individually to that child..only you KNOW...and if you are ready...I'm sure you will have the support of everyone that knows and loves you.

I am sorry for the loss of your daughter.....I truly am sorry for anyone that has to go thru anything like that.

The issue at the moment is that I don't have stable housing and everyone around me agrees that I need to take better care of my mental health before having another baby. She was unplanned and I wasn't any more stable at the time but now I know it wouldn't be fair to purposely bring a child into the world when I can hardly take care of myself.

In the future though, it is definitely a goal and one of the only things that gives me hope.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. Do your relatives and friends at least know that you're triggered by this? If not, can you try to tell them so that they can avoid talking about it?

I think this is really all you can do at the moment..