[Lost_in_the_woods]

Not doing well trying real hard to pull thru..everytime something reminds me of him, I start to breakdown, shake, can't breathe, panic sets in...then I try to contact him..He does not answer..he doesn't care..he walked away like I never existed..destroyed me...I feel like crap everytime I give in..I'm causing myself more pain...which doesn't seem humanly possible right now..but I must have an extremely high threshold because I am somehow still alive?...
Please help me to not call him...I'm really could use any and all support atm..
Thanx for reading

~Scarlett♡☆ (lost)

LITW, did you recently break up w someone? Don't call him. It sounds like he is not worth it! Let me know if you need more concrete ideas on what to do instead.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

He just abruptly cut contact off...over a decade together..things had been in rough patch lately..neither of us knew which way it would end up..but we were working on it together, he said that's what he wanted and he promised he was not lying..last time I saw him was like we were us again..both messed up in the head but happy and so much still in love..talked to him a couple of times the next day..last thing he said was" it's all gonna be ok. I love you we'll talk in the morning.."...then nothing won't pick up the phone answer texts or emails...I got really worried..thought something bad happened...after almost a week, stopped by his work..he had the day off..but coworker seemed confused said he was fine..normal..great.. I just can't understand. I texted and called no response..who does that? And why?...We both had issues..but, I always believed he really loved me and was in his heart good...I simply cannot not understand...no word..no divorce papers..just nothing..It simply doesn't compute.
~Scarlett♡☆(lost)

I'm really sorry that happened and that he did that. That sounds traumatic and like a betrayal of your trust. we are always growing and learning. Not sure where I'm going w that. Just that perhaps you can grow and learn from this. In zen, it is said that pain is to be honored, not pushed away. Pain is a great teacher bringing many gifts. It may take a long time to recover. But you deserve better.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Thanx.
The pain is unbearable...but I am no stranger to pain.
I cannot find peace because I cannot understand why would someone say they'll talk to you tomorrow and then no explanation?? If he left in anger, I could understand cutting communication abruptly a bit...or if it was a short undefined relationship perhaps, people sometimes just fall off...but my husband of over a decade?...no. no matter what the circumstances ...unless very extreme...which no..not to these lengths...without any explaintion...it makes no sense... I can not find peace..don't know how to move forward...
I know no one except him has the answer... I am at a loss for how to cope..which is why I posted it here.

~Scarlett♡☆(lost)

What he did is awful. I dont know why he did it either. Perhaps he was not comfortable telling you his truth. You did say he has issues. Perhaps he is a jerk. I don't know. Ways to move forward: know it is ok to not have peace right now. Write him a letter and burn it or tear it up. Write him lots of letters and dont send them. Talk to a counselor or someone you trust about how you feel. Post here. Distract yourself. Do somethings you enjoy. Know it will take time to move on. Did this happen recently? Work on yourself and your own happiness. I'm sorry you are hurting. Hug.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry for what happened. Try not to think of him.. I know it's very hard, but moving on really is the best choice. You have all my support, you're so kind and sweet

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-hurts-so-much

Litw, for you.

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Thanx.
The pain is unbearable...but I am no stranger to pain.
I cannot find peace because I cannot understand why would someone say they'll talk to you tomorrow and then no explanation?? If he left in anger, I could understand cutting communication abruptly a bit...or if it was a short undefined relationship perhaps, people sometimes just fall off...but my husband of over a decade?...no. no matter what the circumstances ...unless very extreme...which no..not to these lengths...without any explaintion...it makes no sense... I can not find peace..don't know how to move forward...
I know no one except him has the answer... I am at a loss for how to cope..which is why I posted it here.

~Scarlett♡☆(lost)

Hi,

I saw him was like we were us again..both messed up in the head but happy and so much still in love..talked to him a couple of times the next day..last thing he said was" it's all gonna be ok

It seems that you both had problems in the marriage. I can understand your anger and disappointment but it would have happened in the future.
Your best course of action is to be indifferent; to him, indifferent and objective in the legal side of separation and divorce. Dont miss him! Decide what you want your future to be like and start planning for it. If you need company start looking for it. It will change your focus and your mood..
As you can perceive, indifference is the most effective way to get your own back! Regard him as a stranger from now on.

[Yzen]

He has no courage to talk to you about whatever is going on with him. Sorry this happened.

[Unrigged64072835]

Sorry this happened to you. Give him some time and if he doesn't come back, then write him off.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Thank you all for the support
It is still too close and unfathomable..I am just frozen in shock and denial and despair..I know eventually everything will stop spinning, and then I will be able to see a path forward... but right now I am still just struggling to breathe and make it to the next day. I know my system is strong and resilient. This life has beat me up in every way possible...He is and always will be the love of my life. He is my home. I never thought i would ever be without him. It is too unreal still...it's gonna be a very long road.
I am so grateful to be part of this community and to every member here who supports one another.
I'm really very isolated in life.. Everyday that I have spent time here at PC I am thankful for
I don't remember what or why;but bless my luck for randomly stumbling onto this site!
Thank you all so much again
I'm sure I will be crying all over the place in the foreseeable future...please let me know if I become absolutely intolerable :/ I will try to keep the pity party to a minimum.
~Scarlett♡☆(lost)